How to stop being in love

Letting go is difficult and, in most cases, necessary precisely when we are most vulnerable: did you meet, and did it feel like real love? Hobbies, ideas about life, and, last but not least, attraction – it all seemed perfectly coordinated. But then the shock: the person you are talking to suddenly walks away. Is it really all to have come from you? Was the chemistry between the two of you just imaginary?

Once feelings are present, it is difficult, and no less painful, to stop loving. However, it is necessary to clear the mind and heart for the right partner. The first step on this difficult path is recognizing and accepting that your supposedly perfect partner doesn’t feel about you the way you feel about him. There is no such thing as “easy to let go of love” advice that makes all feelings go away. It depends entirely on your individual situation – and unfortunately, there are many circumstances where feelings are not perceived equally by both sides.

4 situations where falling is important

Letting go of being in love is always difficult. Because the feelings that come from the heart are not easy to repress. Also, there is the self-defeating phenomenon that we humans often want something, even more, when we can’t have it. But in what situations might you have to deal with disappointment for better or worse?

Unrequited feelings as a single

One look, one laugh and you’re sure: this is the person you literally want to ride until the sun sets. But be careful! Because when it comes to “love at first sight”, the superficial aspects are often decisive, which unfortunately only make themselves feel one-sided. When falling in love, it’s important that after rejection you don’t think you were both made for each other. It just transfigures your counterpart and makes it even harder for you to let go.

Falling in love after a long-term relationship


There’s a lot that has been said about him: Together against the rest of the world. But now your partner has decided to go his own way because he or she no longer wants a relationship. The tragic: the relationship is over, but the feelings remain. How do you manage to fall out of love when you’ve already had a relationship and it was fulfilling – at least if you can? A difficult situation. However, here it is also important to leave these emotions behind and forget about the ex-partner in order to tread new paths.

How to stop loving when the case doesn’t want to become serious?

Tinder, Bumble, Badoo. These days, there are many ways to let off steam with relationships and one-night stands. The problem with this: when one of the two develops feelings for the other and they remain one-sided. Physical tenderness is exchanged. So why shouldn’t this lead to a classic relationship? Unfortunately, many lonely hearts are prone to this mistake, who hope that this relationship will eventually become something serious. Instead of giving in with hopeless hopes, you’d better make an effort to stop being in love. Only then will you have the chance to bond with someone who wants that bond as much as you do.

Fall in love with a friendship

“Men and women cannot be friends!” Many people share this conviction and often speak from experience. Because if one of the two finds the other attractive and the friendship becomes particularly intimate, it can happen that feelings for one of them develop. So it says: friendship or love? And don’t we all wish that our partner is also our best friend at the same time? However, it could very well be that the feelings come only from one direction. In this situation, too, it is essential to let go of love so that love has a chance in your heart and your friendship has a chance to survive. But how does this work most effectively?

Falling in love easily: with these 5 points

If you have decided to abandon love, first of all, you should be congratulated. Because by choosing this path, you have already taken a decisive step toward a happy future. It’s difficult and (unfortunately) doesn’t work in a few hours or even days. Some feelings of hopelessness are particularly persistent and take months or even years to completely disappear. Still, there are five steps that make it easier to let go of love.

1. Analyze and reflect: accept it’s over!

It hurts to see that one’s feelings are not accepted and reflected by the other person. Still, you should try not to completely drown yourself in negative thoughts and feelings. Better to take advantage of this rejection and look at the situation from a different angle – because that’s the first step to falling out of love.

Tip for falling in love:  Tell yourself: If the other person doesn’t feel about me the way I feel about them, there’s a reason. And this is far from you not worth it! Once you’ve accepted the end of the potentially great relationship, you can move on to the next step.


2.  To let go of love, you have to go back to the factual level

Take a very rational and objective look at your counterpart. Do you really get along as well as you thought? Aren’t you chasing a dream about what your future together could be like? Take off your pink glasses!

Extra tip:  how can you hasten the fall of love? Help yourself to a list to organize and control your feelings. Write down at least three things that fundamentally bothered you. Also, three personal desires in which you completely differed. So you can see again in black and white why you want to fall in love. Why don’t you want a partner who shares your basic views and desires and who you are on an equal footing with?

3. Keep your distance consciously

If you really want to fall out of love, you should try to avoid the other person for a while. So you give your heart a relaxing break from the headache and have other thoughts. This is easier after a clear breakup than with a long-term friendship you’ve fallen in love with.

Note:  If you don’t want to compromise a deep and lasting friendship, you should explain why you’re keeping your distance – in case the other person has no idea how you feel. However, this is really only recommended in a close friendship where you tell each other everything, let alone in a casual relationship.

4. Allow yourself to cry when you fall out of love

But even if you must look at each other and your relationship to each other in the unfavorable light of rationality: don’t be too hard on yourself. Stopping loving really only works if our subconscious doesn’t get in our way. You can avoid this with a very simple step: allowing yourself to regret your self-esteem and painful feelings.

Important:  Take time to process the separation and talk to someone you trust, for example. In addition to a listening ear and a strong shoulder, family and friends often also have comforting words to offer that can help you rebuild. However, don’t engage in conversations that are aimed, after all, at convincing the other person of yourself.

5. Take care of yourself

Dispassion works particularly well when we are well. That’s why you should take care of yourself, because you’re worth it! Do things you enjoy: hobbies, meeting friends, and trying new things – this is the best time to do them. The many impressions bring you new thoughts and you can get to know a new facet of yourself.

Good to know:  try something new and read books, learn a new language or take a cooking class – enjoy the day! The only condition: don’t do any of this to impress the person who doesn’t reciprocate your feelings.


Conclusion: fall out of love – take courage and leave the past behind

Whether you have to try to control your feelings as an unhappy, in-love single or as an unhappy party between an affair and a relationship – understanding is always painful. Accepting a bitter rejection and stopping being in love seems like a huge job, but it’s worth the effort. Because at the end of the rocky road, the person you truly belong to is waiting for you.

The 5-point plan at a glance

  • Accept the situation.
  • Face reality and the state of affairs.
  • Keep your distance.
  • Make room for your pain.
  • Focus on yourself.

It can take weeks, months or years before you completely disappear from love. This depends on your individual situation. However, the process will always come in small steps if you work on it in a targeted way. If you are mindful of your path, you will notice the small steps and successes for yourself and draw more and more strength from them – until at some point you are completely free and finally ready to find a new partner.