During the 20s, it was very joyful to be single. Freedom wanted to be savored and enjoyed around every corner. By the age of 30, the desire for something stable often increases and the ease of being single threatens to fade. Society is also to blame for this. Because it suggests to us that being single at 30 is not entirely normal. But why really? Are the relationships that emerged in the 1920s and maybe even sealed by marriage really that perfect and worth fighting for? Are there no alternatives nowadays?
Still single at 30: Is the final panic worth it?
Those who are in their third decade of life have the feeling that they have finally grown up. Apprenticeship or studies have long been completed, the first career steps have been climbed and we have managed to leave the obligatory shared apartment of the 1920s behind.
Many now own a car and live in a decent apartment where they don’t have to share a kitchen and bathroom with others. The best prerequisites, in fact, for enjoying life to the fullest – and that works best as a single.
But that’s exactly where the problem lurks: being single at 30 doesn’t fit into many ideal-life ideas. Most of the friends in your circle of friends are already in a stable relationship, the good partners with great potential all seem to be in the market, the hands of the biological clock are ticking faster, and your own family is asking why you are still single at 30. factors can easily lead to an impasse that does not make the situation any better.
1. You know what you want
It sounds banal, but it’s totally true. You don’t get too quickly involved with things you’re not comfortable with or don’t want. You just know what makes you happy. The chances of going wrong when looking for a partner from the age of 30 decrease.
2. You can better classify your feelings
Does a date turn into something more serious or is it just a little flirtation? Are you getting confirmation mostly from the encounter or is there more to it? You don’t ride the emotional roller coaster so fast anymore and you know you don’t have to cry for everything and everyone.
3. You don’t have to be responsible
“Do you really want to spend that much money on this? We should do something with my family again. You work too much. I don’t want to go on vacation this year… “As a bachelor, you won’t hear phrases like that, because you’re not accountable to anyone. You can, in general, do what you want and however you want.
4. The means are available
Even in your 20s, being single can be very good. The big difference: we’re still not that settled in life, we still haven’t found our place and we still have to make some commitments to train, start a career or something like that. Singles in their 30s no longer have these problems. A more expensive hobby? Big vacation? A little luxury in everyday life? All this is now easier to do.
5. You may enjoy being alone
The continuation of point four is that it is now much easier for you to enjoy being single. At age 30, you are more relaxed and have learned to enjoy time with yourself. You don’t need a partner to feel complete.
6. You have strong social bonds
While couples understandably spend a lot of time together, you are much more flexible. A vacation with your best friend, a weekend with friends, days with the family… You use your time wisely and build strong social bonds.
Still single at 30 – the prejudices
The problem that men and women who are single in their 30s have is the many prejudices they face. People around you believe that you…
- … are very demanding and have very high expectations of a partner. This would drive away all potential candidates and you would never find someone who meets your standards.
- …you yourself are very strenuous. Nobody would last long in a relationship and that’s why you always end up single.
- … are haunted by bad luck. Something is wrong with you. Why is that? This question leaves enough room for extensive speculation.
- … are selfish and very inflexible and cannot get involved with others. Being single has changed you and now everything has to revolve around you. Commitment? Anything.
- … are alone and are very afraid of being alone and never finding the right partner.
Singles at 30: A New Definition of “Normal”
The question of whether it’s normal to be single at age 30 shouldn’t be asked these days. We are at a time when everyone should have the chance to achieve their professional goals. People who are fully committed to a career can then put the relationship second. Once professional success is achieved, the desire for partnership may arise again. And for them, their early, mid or late 30s is the perfect time.
The topic of family planning is also far from over. In Brazil, a woman is on average over 30 years old when her first child is born (31.2 years old to be precise). And pregnancy is quite possible even in your late 30s. So, there’s no compelling reason why you can’t be single in your 30s — without feeling bad, being viewed wrongly, or feeling like you’re missing out. Knowing your partner for life is not a matter of age.