Jealousy towards ex – How to let go of that feeling

We’ve all been jealous of our ex at one point or another. Imagine browsing Facebook at night. Suddenly, you are faced with an image that almost takes your breath away. It’s a selfie of your ex smiling happily at the camera. And you can also see the reason for her happy expression: because someone else hugs your ex-partner’s arms.

In fact, you might not care about this photo because you broke up a long time ago. Even so, you are jealous of your ex. Because he seems to enjoy your happiness, while you feel bad about it. You still haven’t gotten over your headache? Do you still have feelings for your ex? We list the possible reasons why many people feel jealous after a breakup and what situations increase this feeling. But we’ll also show you how to better deal with your feelings.

Separated but still jealous? Possible Causes

There could be a number of reasons why you are still jealous of your ex after making love. We want to show what they are and describe the situations that trigger these feelings.

You didn’t break up emotionally

Probably the most important reason for this is that you can still be too emotionally involved. If the relationship wasn’t that long ago, you’re probably still busy processing the breakup. There is great uncertainty in this extremely unstable situation. After all, you were emotionally dependent on your ex for quite some time, because your emotional world was directly linked to that person. Your jealousy is a sure sign that you still haven’t forgotten your ex and haven’t found your way back to your own inner freedom and independence.

Situations that feed and intensify the feeling

There are situations that can be real food to get jealous of your ex or increase the feeling of resentment.

a) Confrontation on social networks

Facebook, Instagram, and company can be a real challenge after a breakup. After all, photos, posts, and status messages go a long way in making you jealous of your ex. Social media often ends up being a potential source of stalking that keeps showing you the ex and their lives.

b) Accidental meeting with a new partner

Those unforeseen encounters where your ex suddenly has a new girlfriend are also particularly unpleasant. Here you have to do double emotional work to not react jealously to your ex. First, the unplanned date that took you by surprise, and second, that your ex-boyfriend is happy again. Also, you run the risk of comparing yourself to your new partner. The resentment can then be transferred not only to your previous lover but also to his partner.

c) Additional contact after separation

A situation that makes it all the more difficult, but also if you are still in contact with your ex after your child’s breakup. This can increase the ex-boyfriend’s suspicion and envy as you regularly see him through the children they have together and see if the ex-partner can easily handle the divorce or is quickly back in a new relationship.

You may also have tried to develop a friendship from the previous relationship. If you are still jealous of your ex, it could mean that the relationship between the two of you is still emotionally unresolved.

How to control your jealousy after separation: 6 tips

You want to enjoy your new single life or maybe even leave it behind quickly and not become emotionally dependent on your ex. We’d like to give you six rules on how you can learn to stop being jealous of your ex.

1. Accept the past

You can no longer undo what happened. Accept that your past relationship is now your past. Only by accepting this part of your life story can you establish a healthy relationship with the present and make it easier to stop being jealous of your ex.

2. Stay in control

You must keep your emotions in check. If you find yourself in a situation that increases your ex’s jealousy, keep your feelings to yourself. It is important to avoid confronting the other person openly with your frustration or short-circuiting reactions.

3. Don’t pull to counterattack

An equal reward is not advisable in this case. Don’t start making your ex jealous on your part. Comeback coaches are no good for anyone and will not change the condition that you remain jealous of your ex. Also, don’t abuse other people to start a revenge campaign. Instead, use your energy for yourself. Good self-esteem doesn’t come from causing harm to others.

4. Don’t make comparisons

You live your own life, not your ex’s. So don’t make comparisons if your ex has a new partner after the relationship. Comparisons only make you feel worse.

5. Break off contact if possible

To avoid jealousy as much as possible after a breakup, it is wise to stop contact completely if possible. Delete the phone number and cut your connections on social networks. This way, you will no longer be reminded of your past together, and will prevent you from being jealous of your ex.

Important:   if it is clear that there are still children in the game or you have a friendship, it is better to play with open cards. It helps to be honest about your feelings so your ex-partner can deal with them.

6. Focus on yourself

Minimize resentment towards your ex by swimming emotionally free. You can gain self-confidence through appropriate activities like yoga. Follow your own interests and pursue hobbies that are good for you. But a stronger focus on your professional commitment can also help you forget about private legacies. Focusing on yourself can help you deal with the situation better.

Conclusion: Research the causes to stop being jealous of your ex

Jealousy can put you in an endless cycle that keeps you from letting go of the past. So, if you find yourself in a situation that makes you jealous of your ex-lover, question your feelings right away. Discover the causes and consider the six tips mentioned above to escape this hamster wheel of negative feelings. Only when the past is over can you look optimistically to the future, start looking for a partner and find your newfound happiness.