You know this incredible woman, see her regularly, or write to her. Maybe you even have a date. But suddenly a hammered phrase comes from her, which suddenly makes it clear to you: “She does not love me!”
Now you’re disappointed and unhappy because you actually want to be more than just a good friend to this girl.
And how should you behave now so as not to create even more chaos for yourself and her?
Your thoughts continue to revolve around these issues without you finding a good solution. It’s understandable because you’re completely confused by all the love and other negative feelings…
But don’t panic! I would like to help you find a way out of this maze with my following tips for men:
“She Doesn’t Want Me”: How Rejection Is Always Difficult
Receiving such rejection is painful for any man when he loves a friend or acquaintance. You can talk to this woman for hours, laugh with her, and therefore feel butterflies in your stomach.
There is no better feeling for you than being with her.
Because you finally want to win her over, of course, you confess to her how much you love her or at least give her some tips to guide the cart in the right direction.
Then she responds, however, that although she likes you very much (as a friend, as a person), she doesn’t love you. She cannot imagine a relationship with you or is generally not ready for stories with men. A punch in the face!
“She doesn’t love me…or doesn’t she give me a chance?”
But, because of all the heartache, you ask yourself with the last hope: is she really not interested in anything, or can you, as a man, still ignite the spark of love in her? Can feelings arise there?
You can only find this out by paying attention to your hidden signals (words and body language).
In this article, I’ve already given signs that indicate if she loves you or at least if there’s a chance of a partnership.
“Why doesn’t she love me?” Discover the 2 reasons!
Forget explanations like, ” I’m just not ready for a relationship right now… ” She only says this to hide the fact that she specifically doesn’t want YOU, because she doesn’t want to hurt you any further.
Because she has eyes for other men when the right person comes along. Or do you think she would push a football star or pop singer off the edge of the bed? And!
But before I explain what you can do right now to switch from a platonic friend to her partner, you first need to understand why she doesn’t love you. More precisely: why she is not physically attracted to you, but just sees you as a good friend.
Reason 1: Your reluctance to flirt
I think you’re a more shy guy, at least around women, right? And you certainly never dared to flirt with her in a really offensive way – for fear of a stump.
You didn’t pay her clear compliments, you didn’t touch her, and you didn’t even try to kiss her. After all, she could say that she doesn’t want you and that it would be over.
Paradoxically, it is precisely this behavior that leads to rejection, because you have not let her feel that you are a man who perceives and desires her as an attractive woman.
Instead, you treated her like a friend – and by the time you carefully hinted that you were in love with her, it was too late. That’s why now you get the return trainer and instead you’re just a “good friend” to them too. Result: she doesn’t love you.
Reason 2: You are a very good man
Besides, you’ll probably always be available for that friend to help with any problems, right? You always listen to her, you’re sensitive and actually the best guy she could get for a relationship…
Stop!
Being helpful is fine and honoring you, but always being nice to women without actually flirting? For men, this has an awfully dull effect on the opposite gender – and puts you full steam ahead right on the buddy trail as the “Best Friend”!
It just lacks that tingling sensation – a certain amount of friction that (as in physics) creates heat. And that’s why she doesn’t love you.
Also, women are very aware when you do all these things just because you hope to win their love and win you over.
“She Doesn’t Love Me”: 5 Steps You Can Take Right Now
If you want her to fall in love with you, you need to create physical attraction. That feeling is what makes the difference between friendship and love.
But is there a chance that she might change her mind so that she loves you? Well, that depends on how ready you are to change and become an attractive man.
There is a wonderfully apt quote that is attributed to Albert Einstein:
“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
This means: Your current behavior keeps you stuck in the friend grid, because the way you are right now, she only values you as a good friend. So if you want to win them over, you’ll have to exhibit radically new behavior.
I already wrote an article on how to get out of the friend zone. But mostly for her situation where she doesn’t love you but you love her, I would like to give you some more tips:
1. Accept that she doesn’t want you!
” Why is that? “, you might ask yourself now. After all, you want nothing more than love and a relationship with this woman.
Understandable, but as soon as you beg and make out as most men do, you scare them off, unnecessarily restricting them and creating arguments. This ensures that she distances herself further and further from you.
It sounds contradictory, but it’s true:
If you let her go as a friend now and pull away first she will start to miss you. She will perceive you as a strong, independent man who doesn’t need to cling to her like all the other weak guys out there.
So don’t make a drama! Tell her you’re fine if she doesn’t love you. So don’t contact her for the next few weeks, maybe even initiate a temporary contact ban.
During this time, you will also have the opportunity to lick your wounds and accept the first shock of homesickness. Proximity is always poison anyway, if you’re unhappily in love, don’t forget about it!
2. Have cool dates with other women!
Another weird tip? Why meet and date other girls? You just want her…
The psychology behind this is very simple: competition drives business for us men, even in love! If the woman sees that you are dating other female representatives, then she will be jealous (in a positive sense!).
She will feel a slight attraction to you.
You shouldn’t rub your dates with her competitors so obviously under her nose. Just post some photos on Facebook, give hints on WhatsApp status…
… or casually sprinkle into your personal conversation what you recently did exciting with a “good friend”.
Positive side effects:
You really meet other women to be distracted and have other thoughts. It can also help you find another partner for a relationship if your “number 1” doesn’t really love you in the end.
3. Postpone Your Helper Syndrome Now!
As a loyal friend, have you always been there for women and for hours played the role of good listener, advocate, craftsman, or therapist for them? Did you renovate the apartment and fix the PC? This excessive willingness to help must end!
Of course, you can be “cool”. You shouldn’t pretend to be a man and become a total idiot.
But the truth is, with your helper syndrome, you’ve also pretended to be one if you’re being totally honest.
Because many times you just listened to her with sacrifice and helped her because you needed a reason to be close to her. And because you expected something in return – namely, that she would fall in love with you too. Therefore, it was not pure charity and selflessness.
But now you know: she doesn’t love you for this behavior, so you must reduce your willingness to help a lot.
The most important rule: help her only if these 2 conditions are met:
- First, it’s really a big problem, not minor things (like hours of complaining about other men or small household chores that she could do herself).
- Second, you would also do these things for a good friend (and not just for a woman because you want to convince her of you).
4. Become a confident man!
This psychology of attractiveness is no secret:
Women like certain character traits and behavior patterns of men when it comes to relationships. This includes, for example, leadership like an alpha male, a mission in life, your own opinions, self-assured body language, and assertiveness.
The whole thing is a very complex subject, but you can find many articles on my blog that will help you.
So strengthen your masculinity and become that guy women like! Therefore, YOU too will be pleasantly surprised and attracted by your new attractive personality. And in the end, she might love him after all…
5. Flirt instead of just being “friend”!
How do intense feelings arise for her to fall in love with you in the end? From psychology, it becomes clear: you generate enough physical attraction only if you finally start flirting with her (instead of just being nice). Awaken that special energy between you!
But what exactly is flirting? In order for the woman not only to see you as a friend but to love you, as a man you have to get used to completely new behaviors that did not previously exist in your “friendship”:
Find physical closeness in conversation, and give him the right compliments. I’ll explain exactly how this all works in my other tips (see below!)
But be careful: it doesn’t always work out for us men to leave the friend zone and go from being a good friend to a partner. I want to be so honest with you.
Then you must accept their decision and meet new single women. This is the best way to distract you from a lack of love and fall in love again to find a happy relationship.
So what’s the next logical step?
No matter how things turn out now: My following tips will help you take further steps to win your “good friend” OR another woman into a relationship: