You get along great with this woman on the date, and you wonder if you could ever fall in love with her. But suddenly she explains to you, through the flower, that your relationship is just a purely platonic love.
Even if you like her a lot and value her as a good friend: You are still confused because as a man you secretly expected partnership. Now, with a touch of love, you mull over the question of whether friendship can work when one of you has feelings for the other.
In this article, I will explain to you what a platonic relationship means, whether it can work and how you can make the right decision in this difficult situation.
And maybe in the end it will still work out to conquer this beauty as a stable partner …
What is “platonic love”? Meaning of the term
We, men, know very well when it comes to flirting: women like to hand out their stumps gently because they want to teach their disinterest as gently as possible so as not to hurt them. A kick in the ass is always a rejection…
Is your good friend or acquaintance talking about a “platonic love/friendship/relationship” on the date? If you dance around the bush with such terms, you mean something very simple according to the definition of the word “platonic”:
She doesn’t feel a romantic attraction and just wants you as a (best) friend.
What does “platonic” mean: general definition according to Plato?
The expression “platonic” in this context means something like “purely spiritual connection”, in which any physical proximity with an exchange of tenderness is waived (or should be waived for health reasons).
And yes, the term “platonic love” used today dates back to the ancient philosopher Plato, but the concept originally meant something completely different in his teaching.
Explanations of Plato’s philosophy would go too far here, especially since scholars argue about it too. If you are interested in the philosophical topic, just ask your trusted online lexicon…
What Platonic Love Means for Women
Does this idea of pure friendship sound troubling to you as a man, why are you secretly in love with this friend? I can understand. Just a first consolation: when a woman speaks of platonic love, the emphasis is more on “love” than on “platonic”.
This means that in a way she “loves” you as a friend, only on a spiritual level. But always having fun together like good friends. Is this kind of friendly relationship really right for you right now?
Let’s find out together and first see when a purely platonic relationship might work.
The platonic relationship between man and woman: is everything okay?
I already wrote a detailed article on the question of whether a pure friendship between a man and a woman is possible. To get straight to the point:
Yes, the platonic love thing can work – but ONLY if there are absolutely no feelings involved on either side, i.e. no physical attraction.
For a friendly match to work as a concept, this girl has to be like a sister to you. Or as a friend, you would never fall in love with. You just hang out, play video games or watch football.
But let’s be honest, between us: when do men meet attractive women without thinking about physical closeness?
The Truth About the So-Called “Platonic Girlfriend”
Most guys I met weren’t honest about their friendship with women. Sorry, it seems cruel now, but it’s the truth!
In Friendzone, these men with helper syndrome do EVERYTHING for the woman to conquer her: fix the computer, spend hours listening to problems with the ex-boyfriend and sit in front of the TV with french fries to watch love movies together.
The supposed “good friend” certainly never falls in love and blocks any physical approach on the couch, but hope dies with us, as is well known.
Better watch out for female signs right from the start, whether she just wants friendship or more… That way you avoid a lot of misunderstandings and suffering!
Why don’t you win her over like a platonic friend?
Most men want to gain the trust of their loved ones through the friend line and expect that this will automatically turn their platonic friendship into a love relationship. It is like a conquest through the “back door”.
However, this concept does not work on females to create a feeling of attraction. Because you always reap exactly what you sow, also when it comes to relationships. That means:
As long as you, as a man, don’t put spice into play by flirting and just be best friends to her in the friend zone, she will see exactly that in you and will treat you like her favorite “best friend”.
After the stump: Good friend, still changed your mind?
Even when these men receive a heavy rejection, they wrap themselves in a friend. Who can resist the lady’s flattery when she says with sweet dog eyes what a great platonic love you have for each other?
But the friend zone law of females also applies here:
As long as you play the friend in platonic friendships, you will only remain the friend to women, without causing physical attraction.
In addition, unhappy love for a lady will devour you spiritually if you seek her closeness and at the same time know that she really has no physical interest in you.
Especially when she suddenly meets another man who becomes her new partner, the lingering feeling of jealousy is hell on earth. Believe me!
“Good friends stay” after the breakup
Many boys also know the famous phrase: “ Let’s stay friends !” Women say something like that to their ex-partners if they continue to get along after dating.
But platonic relationships after a breakup? Same thing again: alienated men want to stay close to their exes because they hope to win their ex-girlfriends back.
Sure, old love doesn’t rust and maybe there’s still a spark of attraction in the ex. So these guys cling to the woman of their dreams like a burr, not realizing that this attachment drastically decreases the chances of recapture.
Do you really just want friendship or more?
As you can see from these examples, platonic love is, in most cases, one big lie between a man and a woman – even if the concept sounds good.
And even more unrealistic is the idea that pure friendships can, at some point, magically transform into physical desire, love, and finally stable relationships, without either of them daring to approach her through proper flirting.
Who doesn’t know those Hollywood movies where couples have been friends since childhood in the sandbox and suddenly fall in love after years of this purely spiritual bond? All bullshit!
So be completely honest with yourself and answer the following question:
Is she really just a platonic friend to you, or do you only maintain this good relationship with her because you feel physical attraction and secretly hope for more? Because you want her to fall in love with you at some point and change her mind?
Friendzone: Make the right decision now!
If in reality you dream of something more than a purely platonic relationship or friendship, and soon you fall in love unhappily, then the pain in your heart will be very painful.
So don’t run for the open knife as most men do! Instead, you must make a very clear decision not to burn your fingers on this woman.
You have exactly 3 options to get out of the complicated situation safely:
- 1. Play with open cards and end this unhealthy contact with the girl. It can be difficult and tearful, but it’s an honest way. The famous one-hit horror ending instead of endless horror…
- 2. Fall in love with you, turn off all physical feelings towards her, and really just see her as a platonic friend. But be careful: experience shows that this path is the most difficult from an emotional point of view.
- 3. Try to get out of the friend zone to win over your loved one’s heart. I recognize that it is not easy either. But if the plan doesn’t work, you can still cash out option 1 or 2 (after a new stub of it). So you have little to lose. And you would certainly have the blessing of the old philosopher Plato too.