How and When to Ask a Woman for the First Date?

You’ve met an amazing girl and maybe even have her phone number. But one thing is clear to you: you don’t just want to text her on social media – you definitely want to see her again! But when and how can you ask a woman out on a date without picking up a basket? In this blog article, I’ll tell you the best formulation – and what else is important.

Asking a woman out on a date

First and foremost, it all comes down to the right attitude when flirting. The first thing I want you to do is to delete the word “encounter” from your vocabulary and thoughts. Do not use it in your wording when asking the woman about a “date” (as I prefer to call it). But why? Is the term really that bad?

No, it’s not really bad. But “date” is a really hot word, especially for women and men who have been single for a long time and are looking for the right partner in the flirt market.

Because with this bad word, negative associations are awakened – this is how it used to be for me. It reminds me of cramped meetings in cafes, where the woman and I sat opposite each other like at a job interview and bored each other with questions while I listlessly stirred my fruit tea and squinted at the emergency exit…

HOW to ask for a date? Make the activity a topic!

The problem is simply that the term “encounter” always boils down to being obliged to get to know each other because it aims at a possible relationship and not “just like that”, that is, with an open mind. Let’s be honest: when you talk about dating, you immediately have a partnership in mind.

This inevitably makes your encounter convulsive and creates an immense pressure of anticipation that immediately destroys any exuberant flirtatious mood!

Rather than being forced to get to know each other and a possible relationship, the focus should always be on a fun time, without any expectation that it will turn into a failure, a good friendship, or a great love. Therefore, you should not invite a woman on a “date”. In your wording, it is advisable to avoid this buzzword and instead address only the planned leisure activity.

Ask a co-worker for a date. Please be discreet!

Especially if you’re co-workers, you can’t flirt so aggressively and you definitely shouldn’t use the word “date” here. In this article of mine, you’ll learn what to do when you’re in love with your co-worker (or at least have a crush on her).

Asking for a date: Avoid this phrase!

You don’t really need specific wording on how to ask about the date. The whole thing should sound as casual as possible, without any fake, memorized phrases. Like I said: put the business at the center! However, you should be specific and avoid meaningless standard phrases like:

“Do you want to do something over the weekend?”

“Do you have time to do something the day after tomorrow?”

The lady will think you don’t have ideas for an exciting activity and that you’re not in a position to take leadership or responsibility (a very masculine quality that women place great importance on!). This question also feels very unsure because you can let the woman come up with a battle plan for you to meet.

Bring specific dating ideas that make him want more

It can also be done better! Ideally, you’re personal and have already talked about hobbies and discovered similarities. Now you can draw on that knowledge and make specific suggestions:

“Hey, I wanted to go to the Iron Maiden concert next week. We will?

“This Picasso exhibition is in town next week. Wear something fancy so we can make the photo gallery unsafe”

“I know a cozy picnic spot by the lake. We must not miss it. 

By the way, in this article, you will find tons of cool first-date ideas.

Therefore, organize your meeting in such a way as to propose a venture that has something to do with the hobby you share. The great thing about it: your date is not at the forefront, but an activity that you both can fall in love with. This reduces the risk of a stump and you can get to know each other very casually!

The perfect wording: DON’T ASK for the date, but suggest it!

Perhaps it’s already been mentioned above: As a self-confident man, you shouldn’t  ask for  a date, but instead make a concrete proposal… preferably with friendly but specific wording like:

“Let’s go the day after tomorrow…”

“I suggest the two of us…”

“I think we should over the weekend…”

With this, you demonstrate a firm will and leadership towards the woman. Girls hate it when their man messes up and they have to take charge in dating.

Also, with these requests, you assume that she has the desire and the time for you. This shows great self-confidence when dealing with women, while a cautious question signals more uncertainty and fear of a basket.

Pro Tip: Send a photo via social media

To literally whet their appetite, you can underscore your photo dating suggestion: Take a picture of the new cafe in town with your phone’s camera while you’re sitting comfortably there. Then send her this recording via WhatsApp! That’s how you make her want to go there with you and eat strawberry shortcakes with you…

WHEN to ask for a date? The early bird catches the worm!

Many men are not sure WHEN to ask on a first date. They always delay this moment too long for fear that the time is not “ripe” for it… We boys often think that we have to get to know the woman better before we can ask such a daring question. Otherwise, there may be a certain stump, and we fear. It’s not like this?

Then we type messages on the cell phone for weeks and send them back and forth to pique the lady’s interest.

But all this is wasted time and sheer nonsense. Because? Very easily:

Due to constant denials, we often miss the best time to do the work and end up empty-handed. Because women don’t want a man who acts hesitantly and runs away from the bush. Girls want guys with a bite!

Pay attention to her mood rather than the calendar!

So my tip: it’s better to ask about the date very early than late! Because if you miss the right moment like a procrastinator, the woman has long since lost interest, and you will definitely leave empty-handed.

Develop an emotional sense of when the opportunity is right. The right time to ask about a date is always when you like each other and it starts to spark between you.

A woman needs to be at an emotional peak when writing so she can say “yes” as much as possible to a meeting.

Here in this article, I will tell you in detail what flirting signs on WhatsApp you can tell that the fruit is ripe for the picking

If you flexibly choose the time for a dating proposal based on that feeling, rather than looking at the calendar or the clock, the basket risk drops significantly. So: Free yourself from rigid schemes and act on emotions when flirting!

The golden rule in real life: ask for a date first, then ask for a number

When to ask for a date when meeting her at the club, at school/ university, in a club, on the shopping street, or in other everyday situations?

Don’t ask her out on a date when you already have her cell phone number and are texting her via WhatsApp or Facebook! The order is different: if you are nice to each other the first time you meet, you immediately suggest an activity (I don’t call it “date” now).

As a REASON that you can finally determine the time and place for the next few days, you exchange phone numbers.

This usually has a plausible effect on the woman: after all, you have to somehow keep in touch to set a specific date for your appointment, and you can’t communicate by thought. So if you ask her out first, she’ll have a great reason to give you her cell number later. Sounds logical, right?

Do you want to make an appointment via social media? So keep going!

As I said, you must make your date before you even get her cell phone number. WhatsApp is, of course, a suitable means of reaching an agreement on the point and time of the final meeting. Because not all women want to make a phone call, especially the shy ones. So don’t be afraid to text!

But don’t walk right in the front door, get the woman in the mood with your text messages! This increases the chances that she will want a “continue” with you.

Here you will find the most important tips for charming dating via WhatsApp. If you pay attention to this rain, it will be very easy to arrange a reunion with her. By the way, even if you are speaking at a meeting here for the first time because you missed the opportunity before…

When to ask for a date on the flirt app or exchange?

Maybe you didn’t meet in real life, but through online dating (Tinder, Lovoo, etc.). The same applies here: ask for a date as soon as possible! Beware of writing messages for weeks without tangible results. After all, the goal is not e-mail traffic in an online virtual world, but the real meeting of two flesh and blood people!

If you are sympathetic to writing and have found common interests, in my experience 7 messages are enough to ask for a date at the latest. You can do this directly through flirt or a one-time exchange app such as Tinder, or via WhatsApp if you’ve switched numbers in the meantime.

What if she dumps you anyway? So it is more likely that she is one of those women who do not want to meet men seriously but look for confirmation of her feminine ego in the anonymous jungle of the Internet.

How often do you ask for a date?

It is also important not to put pressure on a woman, but to give her the freedom to make decisions. If you apply pressure, she will only feel cornered and will certainly give you a basket. Therefore, always formulate your idea for a meeting as a suggestion.

If she really likes you or is even in love with you, she will surely move heaven and earth to do something with you.

If she refuses, evades, or hesitates when you ask her the first time, you can only ask her a second or third time on a date. But then it was over! Now it’s up to her to get involved or make a counterproposal. But if nothing else comes from her, that’s a sign that she’s not interested in you after all.

Asking about the second date – this is how it works

So your first meeting was a success? Congratulations on me! The question now is how you can move forward and get a second date off the ground. In principle, it works according to the same pattern as I mentioned above:

On the first date, you should get to know each other more intensely and discover other similarities. You can use these common hobbies and interests as an ideal template to make a suggestion for another meeting.

When should you ask them to see you again?

After the game is before the game, they say in football. In a way, this also applies to dating between men and women.

But when should you ask for a second date? Timing is important: asking too soon seems overly euphoric and clingy, and reporting too late can be interpreted by women as disinterest. The best thing to do is suggest another activity that you both enjoy a day or two after your first date.

If you were understanding the first time they met, she certainly won’t say no when asked about a second date!