One thing is clear: on a date between a man and a woman, first impressions count! Because in the first seconds we unconsciously decide whether we like our counterpart or whether the meeting turned out to be a flop. You’ll soon have your first date, but is greeting still a big question mark for you? A fear problem? Don’t worry! In my blog article, I’ll tell you how you can win their hearts by getting to know each other early on.
By the way: Here you can find my complete tips on first dates with women!
The first date greeting: What do we men fear?
Us men are usually very nervous before a date because we want to do everything right. I knew it myself when I had an appointment: you think of a thousand things… after all, you want to make the perfect impression when you meet – and preferably from the start. That’s why we are feverishly wondering how to greet a woman correctly on a first date without getting embarrassed.
Why is this such an important issue when looking for a partner?
Well, a bad first impression is hard to make up for. We men are afraid to spoil the date with a rude greeting from the very first moment before it even starts. On the other hand, we don’t want to greet the woman too far away, so as not to appear shy or disinterested. But of course, you shouldn’t be too aggressive so she doesn’t feel pressured.
And your head is already spinning: how do I greet him properly and avoid the faux pas that lurks out there? So we imagined the most embarrassing scenarios. But don’t worry, with my greeting tips you’ll get everything right on the first date!
How should I greet you on the first date? That’s how you have to do it!
Do you have an appointment and are not sure how to act initially? To summarize, what you should NOT do the first time you meet:
- Forget the formal handshake. This greeting may be appropriate in an interview, but when meeting a woman, the reception clearly seems a long way off. Exception: She is shy or reserved for other reasons (see below).
- A simple hello without physical contact? I don’t advise this either, because you should definitely touch her so that she gets used to you.
- Handshake (“count to five”) or “touch” sounds very friendly. You don’t want to end up in the friend zone with her, you expect a relationship with her, right?
- There should also be a kiss on the hand with old-school gentlemen, but this seems more like a gesture from the last century, with which you present yourself as a clichéd and unrealistic romantic. Bouquets of flowers or other gifts are also taboo on a first date!
It is better not to turn the situation into a big state problem. I recommend a short hug, as is customary between good friends and relatives. This doesn’t seem far off, but it builds closeness early on and shows that you’re a self-assured man who isn’t afraid of physical contact with women. So you leave a good impression on the lady from the first moment!
Why Hugging Is So Important As A Flirting Starter
And don’t worry, this approach doesn’t feel intrusive – as long as you don’t embrace or cling to it for too long. As I said, a quick hug is normal even between good friends, and women always greet each other that way. In male circles, however, greetings tend to be more distant. That’s why we think it would be very intimate to hug someone we meet for the first time.
In general, you shouldn’t shy away from being physically close to the opposite gender. When you meet for the first time, it is extremely important that you establish physical contact with the woman right from the start, hugging her. This is the only way for her to get used to your touch from the first second of the conversation.
Beware of Reserved Women: What Matters Most
What I have just described – the embrace – is undoubtedly the normal case (or rather, the ideal case) of getting to know each other. By doing this, you build as much physical closeness as possible during the greeting. However, there are also women for whom, depending on their character, culture / regional origin, or age, a tentative handshake at the beginning is the highest of contacts.
There are supposed to be girls who find a handshake appropriate and who find it uncomfortable to hug the man right away. Even ladies who make a very shy impression on you should just shake hands first.
Finally, it depends on how much contact you had before the date. The longer and more times you have spoken or written to each other on the phone (WhatsApp, Facebook, etc.), the sooner I can give the green light for a hug.
What to do with your hands?
Another tip, if you want to shake hands: make sure you have a dry (not sweaty) and firm handshake rather than handing over the “dead fish”. Of course, without breaking bones … With a firm hand, you signal strength and assertiveness – and women notice these masculine qualities precisely because these qualities are extremely important for a relationship with them.
Also, avoid long, violent handshakes. After all, you are not a bartender who mixes a cocktail with a cocktail shaker. Two seconds of hand contact is enough to give her a proper reception.
And otherwise? Don’t forget to look and smile!
Your entire body language when flirting should be “congruent,” as experts call it. This means: All gestures, facial expressions, and spoken words must be in harmonious relationship with each other. For example, someone who smiles in a friendly manner but at the same time crosses his arms defensively over his chest does not appear congruent but sends mixed signals to his counterpart.
Therefore, you must harmonize all other aspects of (body) language with your open and friendly greeting. Eye contact is important: look the woman in the eye and smile when greeting her. There’s nothing less attractive than a man who looks down at the ground in embarrassment the first time you meet. At the same time, a nice-sounding “hello” or “hi” should come out of your lips.
After the greeting at the meet: continue the contact!
So now you’ve received it perfectly and you have the first plus point in your pocket for meeting each other… now what? What’s next to win her flirting heart? The second step is not to hesitate now, but to go straight to the next “program point”.
So don’t be indecisive after the greeting because it makes you look insecure! And women hate those awkward moments. As a man, it’s your job to take the lead and control the situation. Start a small conversation, for example:
“Did you find this place easy?”
“Isn’t it a beautiful town here with the romantic half-timbered houses?”
With these conversation topics as an introduction, you show interest and empathy.
So it’s better to take her by the hand spontaneously if she is an open-minded girl and accompany her to the restaurant, museum, cafe, or whatever you have planned for the date. By this, you prove male leadership. At the same time, holding hands, you initiate the next level of body contact.
Why the first touch is so important in flirting
No matter how intense, the warm greeting is ground zero – the starting point for all subsequent physical approaches in the encounter. Don’t miss out on this ultra-important opportunity to flirt the right way right from the start!
Because if you don’t touch her during the entire meeting, but just sit rigidly across from her during a conversation in a cafe or restaurant, then an emotional distance will remain between you like an invisible wall. If you suddenly start kissing, she will most likely block the “jump in the cold water”. She just hasn’t warmed up yet and isn’t ready for physical contact with you.
To be successful, you must greet them with a hug at best, and gradually increase the touch as the conversation progresses.
And the farewell? That’s how you say goodbye!
Of course, a hug is also necessary when you say goodbye – maybe even a kiss if you’ve come this far. Because even the last impression a woman takes home counts! In general, the rule is that the farewell should always be a little more intense than the greeting, after all, you should have gotten closer during the meeting and developed a certain affection.
So if at first, it was just a handshake, you should hug goodbye so you can record progress. If she increases physical contact here, you can be sure your date will be a success. In this way, you lay the groundwork for a successful second meeting – and perhaps even a later relationship!