You secretly fell in love. Because feelings can’t be planned or turned on and off like a radio. It doesn’t matter if you suspect or are sure that a woman has a crush on you, I will help you get through the uncertainty and emotional rollercoaster.
The Stupid Feeling: What Does It Mean to Be Secretly in Love?
It means being crazy about someone else without them knowing about your “luck”. Perhaps the person suspects something, but the lover does not openly reveal his affection and does everything in his power to hide it. He often hides his emotional situation from everyone else in his life, such as friends and family, who then don’t know about this pervasive desire.
There could be many reasons why you keep your feeling a secret:
- You are shy and do not dare to flirt with her for fear of a stump.
- You haven’t had a chance to show her your love until now.
- You’re still feverishly thinking about the best way to tell her.
- You are co-workers and therefore cannot start a relationship.
- One of you two is married, or maybe even has kids.
- You are good friends and you never want to destroy that in your life.
- You know she’s in love with another man.
I know for my life that secret love is no fun. You feel these strong feelings and you suffocate because you simply cannot or do not want to openly say what you feel deep in your heart. But even if we suspect that a woman – for example, a good friend – is unhappy with us, it can be very stressful. So we often keep our distance because we don’t want to give her false hope.
How secretly in love men behave?
Of course, I’ve also seen what it’s like to make your emotions a state secret. That was before he learned to openly communicate his needs to women. At the time, I had a crush on a girl in my class. Every time I saw her, I blushed and stuttered when I spoke. I kept looking for her nearby and clinging to her like an owl without being able to admit why.
I also defended her from the other boys and reacted with jealousy when she talked to other classmates in the schoolyard during recess. At some point, when I started giving expensive gifts (based on my allowance at the time), she asked me what the hell was wrong with me. Then the confession of love escaped me – and it ended in a basket that was the worst catastrophe of my life…
The Most Common Signs You’re Secretly In Love
From my own experience, I can say that you can hardly hide a secret love if you stay with the person in question for a long time or repeatedly. On the other hand, our feelings are so strong that it is difficult to permanently suppress them. On the other hand, we humans – especially women – have a strong sense that another person has affection for us.
That is why at the meeting there are often phrases from her like: “Hey, you are so strange today … are you okay?” Many good friends have seen us sitting on the sofa with a glass of red wine and suddenly she behaves differently than usual.
How do we, as men secretly in love, react in such a situation?
Sadly, as an adult I have to say today: in such an emotionally heightened situation, we men still behave like the boys in the schoolyard. The signs by which women can tell that we are in love are actually very obvious:
- We are usually kind of weird, weird, and different than usual.
- We try to dress up before a meeting because we want to look attractive to them.
- We look her long and deep into the eyes – and hope our looks don’t give us away.
- We wander in thought, barely listening to what she says because we are preoccupied with our feelings.
- We ponder and feverishly think that there is no chance.
- We react with jealousy when she talks about other men or appears on the scene with them.
- Overall, we react with a lot of irritation and experience a rollercoaster of emotions.
- We start arguments over trivia and throw nasty slogans.
- The protective instinct is awakened in us because we believe that we must defend women above everything and everyone.
- We cancel meetings out of the blue and often keep our distance or even cut off contact because we can’t take these strong emotions any longer.
- We make mysterious insinuations, but we don’t reveal the truth.
- We react with fear or feel “stuck” when she tries to confront us.
Faced with these obvious signs, it usually makes no sense to hide a secret love. But the situation is often more complicated, for example, when a stable relationship is already involved or you are a work colleague.
Is she secretly in love with me? 10 signs that a woman has feelings for you
It is clear that women do not react differently to men in such a situation (see list above). Still, there are some additional signs you can use to tell if she’s into you. The unmistakable signs in a woman are:
- She is very shy around you.
- She laughs sheepishly and looks down at the floor.
- She gets red in the face quickly.
- She looks at you long and hard.
- She often gives you great compliments.
- She becomes especially beautiful for you.
- Overall, she behaves meaner than usual and makes stupid one-liners.
- She touches you often and gets very close to you physically.
- She keeps in touch with you by phone and social media.
- She gets jealous when other women are involved.
Of course, a single sign doesn’t provide clear “proof” that she has a crush on you. After all, one swallow does not make a summer for long. But the more signs you notice in the woman, the more evidence that her presence is warming her heart.
Help, I’m secretly in love! What to do when a “forbidden” desire is involved?
A “forbidden” love can be quite stressful and eat you up from the inside. Especially when someone is secretly in love despite being in a relationship, these feelings can become a real stress test for everyone. These violent emotions can reveal the explosive power of dynamite! So what to do Proverbs don’t help… I’ll give you tips so you can smooth things over as much as possible.
What To Do When You’re Secretly In Love With A Woman
The relationship boxes are tricky and there are often traps lurking here which we fall onto the floor and get a bloody nose. I myself know everything … In general, it is always advisable not to leave out any problems, but to clear the table as soon as possible. Because time is often of the essence: the longer you wait, the stronger the desire becomes – and the complications are increasingly difficult to resolve.
#1 You’re Single — But You’re Too Shy
I often try on men who could get along with a single woman – but are too shy to openly show their emotions. These guys often end up not in the woman’s heart, but in the famous friendship line as “best friend”. Here, they can fix bikes and computers while your heart is broken and in need of a major overhaul.
So, honestly show her how you feel about her – end the secret love! But I don’t mean a confession of love like in a bad Hollywood movie. No, you should flirt with her offensively and show her that you like her. Make some teasing comments, touch her, and give her clear compliments that leave no doubt about her affection!
#2 Secretly In Love But You’re Coworkers
There are slogans like: “Don’t dip your pen in company ink”. In my opinion, there is some truth to this. If you are secretly in love with a co-worker, this is very stressful and can cost you the concentration you need in the workplace. Therefore, a solution must be found as soon as possible. Maybe you can transfer to a different department or change shifts?
Otherwise, the only thing that helps is distraction: focus on your work and perform brilliantly (of course, without pushing yourself to the point of exhaustion), at least your boss will be pleased. In an emergency, before love makes you sick, you should seriously consider changing jobs. So it never hurts to write an app or two after work.
And if you can’t leave it to her: feel careful if she’s single and how she feels about “love at work.” If she’s interested in you and you both want a relationship – even if you’re co-workers – you can give it a try. But be warned: something like this can backfire quickly!
#3 You have a crush even though she is in a relationship
Secretly in love despite a relationship: This is classic flirting. If it’s already been done, you should seriously consider your chances. Perhaps you noticed that she is unhappy with her boyfriend? Then you can signal your interest to her. Otherwise, be silent, otherwise, you will only get a nosebleed from her (I hope only in a figurative sense).
#4 You’re Committed But Have Feelings For Another Woman
It can happen quickly: a vacation, a business trip, or just a night out with your friends – and suddenly you meet this lady who has irresistibly cast a spell over you. But if your girlfriend is waiting at home at the same time, good advice is expensive.
Carefully assess how serious you are about the new woman and how happy you are in your current partnership.
We often fall in love with other people when we are dissatisfied in a current relationship where love has long since died. In that case, you are welcome to think about a breakup and try your new luck. But if something can still be saved, and the new one is just a fling, then you should think carefully about why you are risking your partnership.
#5 Secretly in love with your best friend
Another classic that we men often experience: we have a “good friend” with whom we fall head over heels in love. How should you behave correctly? It all depends on what your chances are. If she’s in a happy relationship and you don’t want to ruin your friendship, it’s best to get rid of all that.
Remember, a friendship cannot work if one is tied to the other. So my tip: If she’s single, flirt with her and openly and honestly show her how you feel about her. Then the cards will be rearranged. Either she follows or her friendship is over. When she is happily forgiven, distance yourself from her so you don’t get hurt.
If, as a man, you suspect that a woman has a crush on you
You may have noticed that a co-worker or good friend acts strangely in your meetings. Those intense stares… Is there something in the bush with her? How best you react now depends on your outer circumstances – and whether you can imagine partnering with her. Here are my tips for you:
#1 You’re Committed and Note the Passion of a Good Friend
Whether you engage in something new with her depends on how happy you are with your current girlfriend. If you are really very dissatisfied and the partnership is hopelessly lost, then nothing speaks against the search for new happiness. If your current relationship still has a hint of the future, seek an enlightening conversation with the person you’re secretly in love with.
Tell her in kind words, but clearly and clearly in the message: You realized that you are in love with her, but you are in firm hands, and you definitely do not want to give up. And you’re saying this openly now because you don’t want to give her false hope anymore – because the longer you wait with this, the more this rejection will hurt her.
#2 She Shows Interest In You Even Though She Is Really Interested
Crazy world: You think the woman is actually in a happy relationship and now she’s still making pretty eyes at you… the assumption is that she’s anything but satisfied with her partnership. That’s why it’s okay to make a clear offer if you like it. Whether or not she breaks up with her current boyfriend is up to her.
#3 You are single and want to be with her
If you are both single and also interested in her, chances are not bad! Maybe you just held back because you’re too shy and don’t know how to do it. My tip: send clear signals and start flirting with her so she recognizes her readiness. If she really has feelings for you, she’ll gladly take action.