In everyday life, you constantly see girls you like. And of course, you have major inhibitions just to approach strange beauties for a flirt. Your heart is racing – but not from love, but from fear…
Also: you miss the first sentence when addressing women. You just don’t know what to say to her when you approach her. You are missing the right topics to talk about.
You’re afraid to just stand in front of her stuttering and say something totally “stupid” that you’ll embarrass yourself to the bone.
If you are very shy, a real horror scenario is in your head.
Therefore, you should definitely plan a good conversation starter to be more successful.
In this article, I’ll share the knowledge you need with tips for the best “openers” for each situation.
The right first sentence when addressing not only ensures that you appear more likable to the woman. You also have the feeling of being better prepared, which immediately reduces the fears just described.
Also, of course, you should work on overcoming your anxiety so that you can approach women with even more confidence in the future.
Address 3 Mistakes in the First Sentence in Women
Even though many men claim otherwise: It doesn’t matter what question or statement you open the conversation with.
In addition to your appearance, the first sentence when addressing women is also the first impression that the lady has of you.
And it is known that there are no second chances with other people for the first impression!
So, avoid the following mistakes when starting a conversation if you want to inspire girls and arrange a date at the end:
1. Memorized lines
There are a lot of flirty lines and phrases that are admittedly pretty funny when you read them. But that’s just the theory.
In real life, these words sound very stupid.
By being just a memorized sentence, you are not giving her the impression that she is special to you and that you have a serious interest in her.
No sophisticated lady wants to be “one of many” for a man…
2. Unimaginative and meaningless sentences
Then there are phrases that embarrass men and seem somewhat strange.
A typical first sentence when addressing women, for example:
“Hey, do you come here often?”
Girls have heard this so many times it really pisses them off. It doesn’t speak for your creativity as a man to say something like that.
The question is not much better:
“Oh, don’t we know each other from somewhere?”
Even if you’ve seen the woman before, she won’t believe you. The naive question works as a cheap excuse because you don’t dare to immediately say that you like her.
This mix of dishonesty and despondency never goes well with flirting… remember this!
Also, these entries don’t provide good models for other topics of conversation. Because what should the chosen one answer in style, except “yes” or “no”? Therefore, it is of little use in general.
3. A simple “Hi” or “Hello”
There are flirting coaches out there who claim that a simple “hi” or “hello” would suffice for women as the first “phrase” (well, it’s just one word…).
This tip isn’t entirely wrong either, but it’s only half the story.
Of course, you can’t go wrong with such a relaxed greeting on first contact if you smile sympathetically and toast to the woman of the club.
But immediately after the “Hi” when addressing the person, there must be a correct phrase to start the conversation.
Otherwise, a particularly embarrassing situation arises because your female counterpart is completely lost and thinks:
“Uhhhh okeeeeeeey… and what does this guy want from me now? What should I reply to him except also hello?
The relaxed and cute greeting doesn’t save you from finding a sensible introduction to your conversation – even with interesting topics.
This is especially true when making contact on the street, where it is not completely clear WHY you are now addressing this lady (because this is a rather atypical situation in contrast to flirting in a club).
Addressing women: 6 tips for the first sentence
Now you know what mistakes you should definitely avoid when starting a conversation, despite your shyness. Below, I’ll give you tips for the best introductory lines in all flirting situations – whether you’re flirting in everyday life or at a club.
However, these are just inspirations for your quest for love.
This means: don’t stick to the word of the following sentence for word! DON’T stubbornly memorize them and then recite them while flirting!
In order for your phrase to sound really authentic when you direct it, you should use the following ideas to develop your own wordings that suit you and your personality well.
1. Addressing people on the street
Even if that’s what you fear most, it works best in an everyday situation on the street to address the woman with a direct compliment.
This has the following reasons:
- This frankness shows a great deal of self-confidence, which immediately makes you extremely attractive.
- You stand out from the crowd of other downhearted men who just play around.
- You are not wasting time on meaningless chitchat because your intent is clear. You place the cards face up on the table with your compliment. Either the woman cuts him off on the spot or gets caught up in his flirting attempt.
But be careful: for a girl, it is extremely unusual to be spoken to so directly by a stranger in everyday life during the day!
Therefore, if you want to address women on the street, you must show a lot of psychological sensitivity in the first sentence and give a good reason for your unusual behavior towards them.
The best opener to use on the street is, therefore:
“Hey, wait for a second! I know it sounds pretty crazy right now. But I just noticed you because you have totally personal charisma. Therefore, I had to talk to you!
All this is just not said that way. Straightforward. No, each of these phrases has a specific meaning and purpose for your flirting success.
I am happy to explain to you now, for each sentence, WHY I say this when opening the conversation:
a) “Hey, wait a sec…”
It is best to hand signal the woman to stop and make eye contact.
This is to get you noticed and make the woman stop. This is especially important if she is in a hurry or very distracted in everyday life (for example, with clothes in the window while shopping).
The idea for an alternative:
- “Hey, sorry a minute…”
b) “I know it sounds crazy…”
With this statement in the first sentence, you show that, when talking to them, you are a socially competent and empathetic man who can put himself in his counterpart’s shoes.
The woman notices immediately: You are obviously someone who understands that talking to her on the street is a very unusual experience.
Ideas for alternatives:
- “I know we haven’t met…”
- “I know you don’t just talk to strangers like that…”
- “Don’t worry, I don’t want to sell you anything…” (especially on the shopping street, where many promoters are hanging around and handing out flyers)
c) “I just noticed you…”
This is how you explain how the situation came about, that you had the idea to talk to her. On the other hand, she can understand your motives.
Ideas for alternatives:
- “You just passed by me and I happened to see you…”
- “You stood out from the crowd…”
- “I saw you from afar with this attractive red hat…”
d) … because you have a personal charisma … “
Then you link the previous statement that you noticed the woman with a compliment as a reason. This is an overt sign that you find her attractive and want to get to know her better for a relationship.
Ideas for alternatives:
- “…and I thought you were very beautiful/interesting/attractive/special…”
- “…you have an interesting clothing style…”
- “…you have a sympathetic smile, while most people look so gloomy…”
e) “So I had to talk to you now!”
With this sentence, you underline again that with this absolute dream woman you had almost no choice but to talk to her.
This plausible reason means the woman might take your offensive attempt at flirting even better.
At the same time, it subliminally communicates that he is a man who stands up for his own needs and (charmingly) takes what he wants to satisfy his desires.
Ideas for alternatives:
- “So I just had to come over and say hello. After all, if you want to have a cool life, you have to do crazy things!
- “If I hadn’t talked to you, I’d be pissed off about it for the rest of the day / Biting my ass with rage!”
- “So, I absolutely have to find out if there is a good character behind this beautiful appearance!”
f) What do you say to the woman next?
Does the lady react positively, smile, and send clear flirtatious signals? Or at least not give you a straight rejection when you reply?
Great, she obviously shows interest in further contact with you…
Now you can shake her hand and introduce yourself by name!
To have a successful conversation, in the next step, you can ask the woman of your dreams where she is going and what she is doing in the city.
Or you use provocative taglines to direct their attention to interesting conversation topics like your hobbies and travels:
“What else do you do in your spare time when you’re not talking to strangers on the street?
2. Addressing people on buses and trains
Despite being shy, do you want to talk to beautiful women on public transport? Your first sentence needs to be clearly different from the one on the street.
Reason: If you start the conversation with a direct compliment, the situation for the lady is quite awkward.
After all, there are usually people standing or sitting around you who noticed the flirting attempt and literally “got the popcorn” to watch with pleasure how things went.
For the other passengers, it’s like an exciting movie – but for you two lovebirds it’s extremely uncomfortable to be in the spotlight!
You can literally feel the eye contact from onlookers on your back like nasty pinpricks.
On the bus and train, you should always address women with indirect phrases that do not openly reveal your real intentions.
By that, I mean completely “innocent” questions about harmless topics such as:
- “What are you reading interesting?” (When the lady reads a book)
- “Tell me please, does the train go through the mall or do you have to change there?”
- “Do you know where to get to the lake? I agreed to go for a walk with friends!
Here in this article, you will find detailed knowledgeable tips on how to handle attractive women on buses and trains.
3. Addressing people in clubs and bars
If you want to address interesting women at a party, your first sentence is important. It should be as fun as possible, after all, people want to have fun and flirt at the party.
Boring, factual questions to start a conversation have no place here at this time of night.
You can also save a direct compliment, like on the street. Because the situation is clearly defined and every woman knows anyway that you want to flirt with her.
A tip, what works instead?
It’s better to ask a funny question about your “female opinion”, such as:
- “Tell me, which yellow hero is cooler – SpongeBob or Homer from The Simpsons?”
- “We were discussing who cheats more often – men or women. What do you think?”
- “We were talking about weird sauna stories. Really funny. Have you ever tried something crazy in the sauna? Everyone has something to say about it!
With topics, this funny, the beginning of your conversation will be the prelude to a good-natured exchange of blows when nice responses come from the party mouse.
However, you can also ask questions related to the situation to get to know each other:
- “What are you drinking delicious/weird?” (At the bar, also when toasting)
- “Sorry, do you have a fire?” (The best pick-up line in the smoking area)
- “Nice song, isn’t it? Do you know what song this is? “(Especially when dancing to good music)
Try it yourself. Don’t be afraid of embarrassment with your topics of conversation and feel free to flirt at the disco! It’s really fun to turn your head off and connect with other people in a relaxed way.
4. Contact the supermarket (also at other stores)
Similar to the bus and train, there are many people in stores who can hear your draft.
The curious grandmother is sure to listen carefully as her alibi picks up the cauliflower and puts it in the shopping cart.
To avoid this awkwardness for you and the woman, you should also start a discreet conversation with a factual question.
You can use this “opener” as the first sentence to address women in supermarkets or other stores:
- Do you think these mushrooms are still good?”
- “Where are the fresh herbs here?” (Also to the cashier)
- “Can you recommend me a wine / a book / a perfume etc. for me? Still, looking for a suitable gift for a good friend?
- “Can you change a hundred reais note? I need change for the shopping cart! “(Before the supermarket)
The motley assortment of products in stores offers several “hooks” for the first phrase. Have a little imagination! The conversation piece is pretty much off the shelf — so use that, too.
In the next step, you can talk about cooking and eating for a few minutes. These are obvious topics when shopping.
5. Talking to the Academy
Again the same story above for us men:
A direct attempt to dig between the dumbbells and the stepper is quite embarrassing when the other athletes around you notice the flirting during training.
But even if you’re looking for a first sentence on how to approach women in the gym, I can give you some good starting points.
The best thing to do here is to ask a low-key question about training-related topics:
- “Can you show me how to adjust the cross trainer/bike etc. correctly?”
- “Oh, that sounds like a very effective exercise… what muscle does it work?”
- “Have you tried the milkshakes/coffee here at the gym? Can you recommend anything from the bar?
- “Oh, very crowded in here today. Do you know when the best training times are? “(Perfect opener to find out what time she trains if you ever want to see her again!)
Is the chemistry right when you meet? And isn’t there just a smell of sweat, but also a touch of love in the air?
My tip: Afterwards, you can treat yourself to a protein shake together in the studio’s café area. You’ll already have your first date right away, and maybe she’ll even become your girlfriend!
6. Approach at the university
You can also flirt very well with attractive women here – because universities are heaven for us men. Numerous young and attractive students run around here, who also have something on their minds.
What phrase do you use best to refer to women? It depends on the specific location.
In the classroom or seminar room, I again recommend the indirect method, as flirting in front of all the students’ prying eyes is quite embarrassing.
First, ask the lady something about “normal” study-related topics:
- “Did you do all of today’s practice?”
- “Can you lend me a piece of paper/pen?” (If you pay back the loan at the end, this is the second chance to start a conversation!)
- “I didn’t understand last week’s material. Can you explain it to me again?
If you’re talking about boring university stuff, however, after a few minutes, you should change the subject and talk about private matters. After all, it should be flirting and not boring “technical talk”!
Otherwise, the beautiful student will quickly lose interest in you.
On the anonymous campus, where students run past you, you can also start the conversation with a direct compliment. The situation here is pretty much the same as talking on the street (see above!).
By the way, here in this article, you will find even more tips on how to flirt at university with other people who want to start a conversation if you want to find a girlfriend.
Address women: First sentence with a smile, please!
Now you know the best openings with which to address girls to meet them in every possible place.
However, communicating with other people is not just about WHAT you say (the words) but also HOW you say it (the body language ).
Attractive gestures and facial expressions are things you must use to be successful when tying. Unfortunately, most men often forget about this subject during flirting – and then wonder why they get rejected.
A personal, self-assured charisma when approaching includes:
- correct posture
- friendly smile so as not to appear threatening as a “stranger”
- the friendly tone of voice
- confident eye contact with your female counterpart’s eyes (without staring, of course)
Follow these tips and rules for body language as a man, even if you still find it difficult due to your fear. With this new knowledge, you are sure to make a good first impression on the woman of your dreams. It’s the perfect introduction to getting to know each other while dating!