The term in a complicated relationship became more common after Facebook’s relationship status option.
I’ve always wondered how people feel to declare such a thing, but it turns out that there are many reasons that contribute to the complexity of a relationship.
There is no clear definition, but a complicated relationship means an unfulfilling love life.
In other words, it’s when partners struggle with insecurities and dependencies, have different views on life, or other related issues that don’t allow them to take their relationship to the level of exclusivity.
It’s a toxic relationship between two people who, despite the strong feelings they share for each other, are aware that they can’t be together anymore, despite not being able to pull away.
How to know if your relationship is complicated?
It’s actually quite simple.
If you’re not sure what your relationship status is and if you don’t know exactly why you’re in the relationship, you’re in a complicated relationship.
When a person is in a healthy and successful relationship, they don’t have to worry about these things because they have a clear picture of their relationship at every moment.
And if questions like these start to plague her, she simply talks openly with her partner.
If you’re in a relationship, but you avoid calling him boyfriend, partner, or companion, it’s possible that you fall into one of these categories that definitely indicate that your relationship is complicated:
1. Long-distance relationship
It’s no secret that a long-distance relationship can be tricky.
To be successful, you need to put in a lot more effort than in a normal relationship.
This is because communication between you can get tiring, the relationship can fall into a routine and it will be almost impossible to deal with it.
Sometimes it gets tiring to write or talk about everything that happened throughout the day, every single day.
You wanted him to be there, with you.
He doesn’t know your friends and you don’t know his friends either.
It goes without saying that physical presence is very important.
Also, you don’t know when you’re going to see each other and it’s hard to live in uncertainty and anticipation.
In this case, you should think about your future realistically. Will this work or not?
If you want it to work, both sides need to make an effort and take some risks as well.
It is possible to overcome the distance, just want to and fight hard for it.
2. Returns and departures
It would be great if there was some universal guide on how to build a successful relationship, but the reality is that there is no universal guide and no universal rules.
That’s because every relationship is different, just as each of us is different.
There is no right way.
Love is messy, and so are our feelings.
So how will relationships not be messed up?
If you’re in a complicated on-again, off-again relationship, know that there are many reasons why people break up.
It could be because of a conflict caused by different personal characteristics, such as lack of compatibility, life history, stagnation or jealousy, for example.
But, one thing is for sure.
A breakup is always followed by feelings of loneliness, lack of old habits, and lack of the comfort you once had with each other.
That’s where the rollercoaster ride begins.
On-off relationships are full of uncertainty, pain, and passion.
Sounds like a good novel, doesn’t it?
However, this type of relationship is certainly not worth your efforts and your precious time.
If you want to know more about why men pull away, see our article.
3. Secret complicated relationship
Is your partner hiding you or being unnecessarily secretive about the relationship?
Does he never take pictures with you, and even when he does, he never posts anything on social media? Never write cute love captions or tag you in cute posts?
If you’re in a new relationship, that’s fine, but after a while, it becomes suspicious.
Do you feel that he is not proud to be your boyfriend and does not take you seriously?
To deal with this, you need to confront him and have a heart-to-heart talk.
If his answers are vague and unsatisfactory, it means he’s hiding something from you or he just doesn’t care enough about you.
4. Spend time
The last thing you definitely want is to feel like you’re just passing time in his life, isn’t it?
If you like him and want a long-term relationship, but he treats you like you’re something casual, then this really is a complicated relationship.
You’ll know it’s just a pass in his life when he:
- Makes excuses not to spend the night with you after being together.
- He doesn’t have time to know more about you or what you like, for example.
- Avoid meeting his friends and don’t talk about you with his friends.
- Don’t bother answering your messages.
- Never shows affection in public.
- It makes no effort to make you feel special.
I’m sorry, but if you’re going through this, it probably means your partner is a narcissist, meaning they don’t love you or don’t see you as a long-term partner.
But it could also mean that he likes to date a lot of women and so it’s a complicated relationship anyway.
5. You’ve never had a healthy relationship before
This will probably sound strange to you, but if you’ve never been in a healthy relationship before, how can you know when a relationship isn’t complicated?
Maybe you’ve been hurt before and your defense mechanism is constantly telling you to be careful if something is wrong.
You overanalyze every situation because you’ve learned that things aren’t always what they seem to be, but that’s okay…
It takes time to heal and trust yourself and others again.
You’ve learned that it takes more than a simple I love you to make things work.
At the end of the day, you must first have an uncomplicated and healthy relationship with yourself before you can have a relationship with someone else.
How to end a complicated relationship?
A healthy relationship should feel safe for both parties.
There must be strong levels of understanding, respect, and commitment.
If your relationship has none of these, if things constantly seem rocky between you and your partner, the only option you have is to break up.
But first, you need to finish it in your head, that is, you need to think about everything.
Organize your thoughts and choose a path that you will follow.
When it comes to organizing things in your heart, this will be more complicated.
However, when you weigh self-love and the love you feel for someone who deserves nothing, self-love will always prevail.
So always be direct and open with your partner.
Tell him everything you’ve been keeping inside yourself all this time and move on accordingly.
How to fix a complicated relationship?
On the other hand, if you want to fight for your love because you think it’s worth it, you must work hard to save your relationship.
The first thing you need to do is find the cause of this complicated relationship.
Find and acknowledge all the problems in your relationship and deal with each one slowly.
Both sides need to admit their mistakes and take full responsibility for them.
Also, both partners need to work on improving their communication and building a stronger level of trust.
If both find it necessary, they can also seek professional help.
The only way your relationship will improve is if both of you are completely dedicated to fixing it and making things work between you.
It is not enough just to clarify the problems, it is also necessary to work to strengthen the bond and make the relationship healthy.
Conclusion about a complicated relationship
The scenario of a complicated relationship has only two options, stay and fight for your love, even though you know it will be difficult, or walk away and turn your back on him, leaving the past forever.
The only place you will find the right answer for your situation is in your heart.
If you’ve tried and seen that you can’t stay away from him, maybe it’s because you shouldn’t be apart. In that case, it’s worth the fight.
However, if he is unwilling to put the relationship first, then you are better off without him.
Move on and find someone who will make you feel special, someone who will make you feel the way you deserve to.
I hope this article has helped you shed some light on a complicated relationship.
Finally, be sure to share with that friend you know needs help.