What Motivates Us to Put in So Much Effort for People Who Don’t Put in Any Effort for Us?

It’s a common experience to find ourselves putting in a lot of effort and energy into relationships with people who don’t seem to reciprocate in the same way. This can leave us feeling drained, frustrated, and even resentful. So why do we keep trying so hard for people who don’t try for us?

One reason may be that we feel a sense of obligation or responsibility towards the other person. We may feel like we owe them something, or that we need to prove something to them. This can be particularly true in relationships with family members or long-time friends, where we feel like we have a history and a connection that can’t be easily let go.

Another reason may be that we are afraid of being alone or losing the relationship altogether. We may feel like if we just try a little harder, the other person will eventually come around and start putting in more effort. This can be particularly true in romantic relationships, where the fear of rejection and abandonment can be strong.

So what can we do to break out of this cycle and start valuing our own time and energy? Here are a few tips:

  1. Set Boundaries

One of the most important things we can do is to set clear boundaries around our time and energy. This means being willing to say no when we need to, and not constantly putting others’ needs ahead of our own. By setting boundaries, we can protect ourselves from burnout and ensure that we are using our resources in a way that is sustainable for us.

  1. Communicate Your Needs

Another important step is to communicate our needs and expectations to the other person. This means being clear about what we need from the relationship, and being willing to have an open and honest conversation about it. By expressing our needs, we give the other person a chance to step up and meet us halfway.

  1. Let Go of Unhealthy Relationships

Finally, it’s important to recognize when a relationship is no longer serving us and to let it go. This can be difficult, particularly if we have a history with the other person, but it’s important to prioritize our own well-being and happiness. By letting go of unhealthy relationships, we create space for new and more fulfilling connections to come into our lives.

In conclusion, the tendency to try so hard for people who don’t try for us can be a difficult pattern to break. However, by setting boundaries, communicating our needs, and letting go of unhealthy relationships, we can start valuing our own time and energy and creating more fulfilling connections in our lives. Remember, you deserve to be in relationships where your effort is appreciated and reciprocated.