Relationships are built on mutual respect, appreciation, and effort. However, there may come a point when one partner starts to feel as though they are giving more than they are receiving. When this happens, it’s possible that your partner may be taking you for granted. If you’re feeling unappreciated or undervalued, it’s important to recognize the signs early and take proactive steps to address the issue. Here’s how to know if he’s taking you for granted and what you can do about it.
Signs He’s Taking You for Granted
- He Stops Appreciating Your Efforts
When someone is taking you for granted, they stop recognizing or valuing your contributions. Whether it’s something small, like making dinner, or something big, like supporting him through a tough time, he no longer acknowledges the effort you put into the relationship. If your efforts go unnoticed or unappreciated, it’s a red flag that he may be taking you for granted.
What to Look For:
- He rarely thanks you for what you do for him.
- You do things for him without receiving any acknowledgment.
- He expects you to keep doing things without expressing gratitude.
- He Prioritizes Other Things Over You
A healthy relationship requires both partners to prioritize each other. If you feel like you’re constantly being sidelined or put on the back burner for his work, friends, or hobbies, it may indicate that you’re not as important to him as he is to you.
What to Look For:
- He cancels plans with you to spend time doing something else.
- He doesn’t make time for you, even when you need him.
- He puts his needs first, even when you’re emotionally or physically drained.
- He Takes You for Granted in Everyday Life
Little actions (or the lack thereof) often speak volumes. If he takes advantage of your kindness and doesn’t reciprocate, he might be taking you for granted. This can include expecting you to do all the chores or always being the one to initiate conversations or plans.
What to Look For:
- You always make the effort to connect, but he rarely does.
- You take care of all the responsibilities, leaving you feeling overwhelmed.
- He expects you to be available at all times but rarely makes time for you.
- He Doesn’t Acknowledge Your Feelings
When a partner is taking you for granted, they may stop caring about your emotional needs. If your feelings are frequently dismissed, ignored, or belittled, it can lead to feelings of isolation and frustration.
What to Look For:
- He ignores or brushes off your concerns.
- He downplays your feelings and doesn’t listen when you express how you feel.
- He never takes responsibility for his actions when they hurt you.
- He Assumes You’ll Always Be There
One of the most obvious signs of being taken for granted is when your partner starts to assume that you’ll always be available, regardless of the situation. This can make you feel like he no longer values or respects the effort it takes to maintain a healthy, thriving relationship.
What to Look For:
- He expects you to always accommodate his schedule and plans without consulting you.
- He doesn’t make an effort to keep the relationship exciting or fresh.
- He doesn’t show interest in your life outside of the relationship.
What to Do If You Feel Like You’re Being Taken for Granted
- Communicate Your Feelings
The first and most important step is to have an honest conversation with him. Let him know how his actions are making you feel and why you feel unappreciated. Keep the conversation calm, focused, and free of accusations, so it doesn’t feel like an attack.
What to Say:
- “I’ve been feeling a bit overlooked lately, and it’s making me feel unappreciated.”
- “I want us to be able to communicate better and for both of us to feel valued in this relationship.”
- “I feel like I’m giving more than I’m getting, and it’s affecting how I feel about us.”
- Set Boundaries
If he continues to take you for granted after you’ve expressed your feelings, it’s essential to set boundaries. This can mean saying no when you feel overwhelmed or not accepting behavior that’s disrespectful or dismissive of your needs. Boundaries help protect your emotional well-being and reinforce that your feelings matter.
Examples of Boundaries:
- “I need to feel appreciated in this relationship. If I’m not receiving recognition for my efforts, I will need to reassess how I’m contributing.”
- “If you continue to cancel plans with me, I’m going to stop making time for you.”
- “I can’t continue doing all the work in the relationship. We need to share responsibilities more equally.”
- Take Time for Yourself
Sometimes, the best way to address feeling unappreciated is to take a step back and focus on your own needs. Spend time doing things you enjoy, whether it’s spending time with friends, pursuing hobbies, or simply relaxing. Taking care of yourself will help you gain clarity and perspective on whether this relationship is meeting your needs.
How to Care for Yourself:
- Reconnect with friends and family who support and uplift you.
- Pursue your personal passions and goals outside of the relationship.
- Set aside time to relax and recharge your emotional batteries.
- Evaluate the Relationship
If, after communicating your needs and setting boundaries, he continues to take you for granted, it may be time to evaluate the future of your relationship. A healthy relationship should be built on mutual respect, effort, and care. If your partner is unwilling to meet your emotional needs, it may be a sign that the relationship is unbalanced or no longer serving you.
Questions to Consider:
- Is he willing to make changes in order to improve the relationship?
- Do you feel like your needs are being met in this relationship?
- Are you constantly sacrificing your happiness for someone who isn’t giving the same effort?
In Conclusion
Feeling taken for granted is painful, especially when you’re putting in the time and effort to nurture a relationship. However, it’s important to remember that you deserve to be treated with respect and appreciation. If your partner isn’t valuing you as you deserve, it’s crucial to speak up, set boundaries, and take care of yourself. Remember, a healthy relationship is one where both partners give and receive love, effort, and support equally. If you’re consistently feeling neglected, it’s okay to reassess the situation and make choices that prioritize your well-being and happiness.