A healthy relationship is a choice, it doesn’t just happen. To love without attachment is really possible.
Doing this is simply a matter of changing our expectations about what we want from the relationship.
Regardless of our spiritual or advanced level, relationships challenge our dark side and highlight the work we need to do to overcome the wounds we experienced in our childhood.
Loving without attachment isn’t about abandoning the person, it’s about being indifferent to predetermined expectations or end results that many people use to judge whether a relationship is successful.
It would seem that there is a pattern of relationships that we should all follow. We meet, we kiss, we chat, we spend more time together, we say I love you, we meet our respective families, we move in together and we end up getting married.
Yet, it is more of a plan and not a loving attachment, which seems rather limited.
To work on unattached love, you first have to work on yourself and the triggers.
As humans, we tend to go through bad times with difficulty in resolving them and undefined or indescribable situations. For many of us, we like to know exactly where we are and what kind of situation we find ourselves in so that we can then follow the heartwarming rules that match.
However, we limit the kind of love we engage in.
Loving without attachment doesn’t mean we don’t care about what the other person is doing, it means we love them enough to just let the relationship do the talking.
When we can change our expectations, we can change our experiences.
If we enter into a new relationship with someone without having any expectations of what it might become, then we are allowing that union to develop organically, instead of forcing it within predetermined limits. that we use to define love.
Loving without attachment means you want to make the most of your time with the person as much as possible because there is no guarantee that they will last.
To love without attachment is the ability to love someone freely. Both people can come and go as they please, never feeling like there is an expectation for a specific set of behaviors.
To be honest, loving without attachment is not easy.
To love someone in this way, we must first put a name and sit with our hurts; our fear of abandonment, rejection, and everything that conditions us from birth.
When we can do this work for ourselves, it doesn’t end suddenly, but it becomes easier to live without attachment, we realize that our feelings are not related to the other person, but to ourselves.
In the absence of attachment, we don’t let go of the other person, nor do we completely let go of all expectations.
Detachment only means that we choose to love consciously. We introduce ourselves to each other when we can. For the times when we cannot show ourselves, we are happy individually.
It means respecting our partner’s journey, knowing that in unattached love we cannot force anything. No one can force love, and neither can we stop someone from falling in love with us.
When we can approach love as a gift, whether the loved one accepts it or not, we sink into the essence of what it really means to care for each other, beyond our own needs. This is probably the purest kind of love.