Everything is known in the first moments of a meeting
I am one of the people who believe that everything is known in the first moments of a meeting. By that, I mean early exchanges provide a lot more information than we would like to believe.
And this, even if we are often little aware of it since our focus is exclusively on our desire to discover the other and to be discovered at the same time.
However, we should not trivialize all these little details that are brought to our attention.
And this, even if we are in a “seduction” mode to attract a new partner, new friends, or new business relationships. If certain subjects or attitudes come up more than once in our first exchanges, that perhaps says a lot about the personality of the individual who is in front of us.
This is the reason why I dare to assert that everything is known in the first moments of a meeting. We can already predict if the relationship will be easy or if it will require several adjustments.
I have a few fairly recent examples in mind that have convinced me to now pay more attention to what happens when I get to know someone new. Obviously, we all have our little flaws and imperfections, which is why the idea here is not to judge superficially, but to collect enough data to be able to better act and interact with others. Ultimately, this can also be used to decide whether or not we want to go a little further in the process.
The first case that comes to mind is a lover who, from the first moments of our relationship, was quick to tell me not to worry if he ever had a sudden urge to isolate himself sometimes. I quote his words: “It should not be taken personally…”
Our relationship didn’t last long enough that I could suffer from this urge he has to push people away when he’s in a pretty bad mood, but I can imagine how painful it can be to live in with a person who does not support the presence of others when things are not going well in his head.
The other example is this person who warns me, right off the bat, that his greatest fault is being susceptible. Knowing yourself well and being able to see what’s wrong is commendable, but if you don’t do anything to improve yourself, what’s the use of warning people? It’s kind of like saying, “I warned you so take me as I am.” “Uh… not necessarily!
In two hours of conversations with this individual, I have put my foot down more than once because of his great sensitivity. It was therefore obvious that our two personalities could not get along well, I who express myself in all authenticity and with few filters, and he who feels threatened and rejected every time our opinions differ.
KNOW HOW TO RECOGNIZE THE SIGNS
For too long I wanted to silence my little inner voice that warned me against certain people. Often, this resulted in some uneasiness in the first meeting.
I always tell myself that we must give the runner a chance. However, it turns out that my intuition was almost always right. Time has always proven what bothered me from the start.
I am not saying here to close completely to any new meeting which seems a little problematic, but it would perhaps be advisable not to get too carried away if certain information which is brought to our attention seems to suggest that the sky is likely to fall. not always looking good.