I don’t want your promises, I want consistency

Your words may not be lies and you may really mean what you say.

You may want to keep your promises, but I can’t trust you so easily.

I have had my share of lessons in life for being so naive.

I’ve been lied to, too often. My confidence has been shattered so many times before.

I have given too many bad people the benefit of the doubt.

I always ended up being mocked or broken, even when I had the purest intentions.

That’s why I don’t need your empty words, I need consistency.

I stopped believing people’s words so easily.

You are what you do, not what you pretend you are going to do.

So whatever someone promises me, I take it with reserve.

I don’t take it with heart. And I behave like this in order to save my broken heart.

That way, if people keep their promises, I can be happy.

Otherwise, at least, I am not disappointed because I expected nothing at the start.

I stopped trusting people so easily.

You may be good, but you may be toxic too.

I don't want your promises, I want consistency

And I’m no longer ready to play with my heart.

I don’t want to welcome people just because they look good or nice.

That was the old me and the old me had been hurt so many times before.

The old self was too naive and trusted people too easily.

Now that life has given me all of these lessons, I am much smarter.

And so you’ll have to prove to me that you’re good before I can let you in.

I have already been broken. Before, I had no problem putting the pieces together and moving on.

But, unfortunately, I was broken once too often and I am not as strong as before.

I can’t manage toxic people as well as before. Now, more than ever, I doubt myself.

I don't want your promises, I want consistency

I still believe that there must be something wrong with me, that it is me who is doing something wrong that is making people treat me so badly.

It must be me, right?

I am not strong enough to allow another toxic person to take over me.

Even if you are not bad, I cannot take the risk, because I am not sure of succeeding in getting back on my feet if it turns out that you were like everyone else.

I can’t convince myself that it’s not my fault, I couldn’t tell myself that I’m not the one who makes people mean, I couldn’t convince myself that people are what they are are and that it never really depends on me.

It is my duty to protect my heart.

If you are worthy of it, you will prove it to me. You will show me that I can trust you.

It will turn out that you are good in time. I won’t need to risk my mental health with you.

I don't want your promises, I want consistency

And if you really are a good guy, you will try to understand.

You will try to put yourself in my place and understand why I am as I am.

You will see how this sensitive and caring girl turned into a closed and reserved girl.

Ask me anything and I’ll tell you, but don’t expect me to trust you, just because it’s you.

When you ask me to trust you, you will see a dose of doubt in my eyes.

It will not be easy to get rid of this doubt because I still have my past clinging to me.

I still remember the people who used me, who lied to me and who made fun of me, they are always somewhere in my head.

And even if you don’t deserve it, all doubts come to me like waves reminding me not to trust you.

Do you think I like being broken?

Do you think I like being so hard on you? I can not help it.

We can fix it, and even if it won’t be easy, if you put enough effort into it, if you prove to me that you are good, I promise you, it will be worth it. 

Please don’t become like everyone else.

I don't want your promises, I want consistency

Do not be like those I have had the opportunity to meet in my life before you.

Prove to me that you are worthy of my love and my trust.

Show me that I can count on you.

Prove to me that you will not go anywhere and that you will not leave me broken.

I need consistency, I need to see your efforts, your love, your kindness and your attention.

You can convince me to trust you, but not by words, never by words.

I don’t need an apology, or another promise that things will be different next time, because it would kill me.

Do not tell me that you are different, show me that it is so.