Either you want me or you don’t want me, this “in-between” is torture

One moment you draw me closer to you for the one after repelling me.

Do you know how I feel Do you realize that you turn my mind and my heart upside down?

I dream of consistency. I hate these back and forth that you keep doing. We spend time together and it’s great.

You fall for me and I fall for you.

When we are together, you are kind, loving and the most adorable man I have ever met, but as soon as we are apart, you don’t even bother asking me about me.

And as soon as you see that I’m walking away, you start chasing me. I hate that.

I hate little games. I hate that you only dream of me when you are afraid of losing me. When I’m distant.

I need more than empty words and promises. I need more than: “Let’s see how it goes.”, “Let’s enjoy the present day without worrying about tomorrow.”, “Are you not happy with things as they are today?”

No, I’m not happy today. I need you to tell me what I mean to you.

I have heard all the possible excuses and I am tired of hearing them. If you care about me as much as you say, I don’t see what’s holding you back except your own fear.

You are full of “ifs”. And me too. I’m afraid too.

What if you hurt me? If all goes wrong? What if you meet someone else? What if you break my heart like no one else before?

But you know what? I too am tired of “ifs”. We cannot know what the future holds.

What if we were perfectly well together? What if we had something real and lost it because of our fears?

But I am ready to take the risk. I am ready to put my fears aside. But do you want to do the same?

I hope so. Because I will not wait any longer. I think I waited more than enough.

I feel like I’ve been in this situation with someone else before, and I don’t want the scenario to repeat itself – the scenario in which a crappy man, creepy promises, and creepy love took place.

I don’t want to relive this again. Obviously it’s not that I don’t care about you.

I care for you. Like I have never cared about anyone before but you have to realize that I cannot settle for less than what I deserve.

I have learned my lessons well in the past. I don’t want to look back and tell myself that you have been one more lesson.

I hope you will be more. I know you can be more.

I know we can be amazing together. Either way, I think you feel it too – you just haven’t admitted it yet.

I hope you do it before it’s too late before I give up on us.

All you need is for you to take me in your arms and tell me that you give yourself entirely.

Then we can go slowly. One step at a time. I just need to know that you are mine.

That you can proudly call me your “girlfriend” or introduce me to your friends. That you are ready to bet and bet everything on us.

So make a decision. Either you want me or you don’t want me.

I no longer want to be stuck in an in-between with you. I hate the situation we are in.

This is torture. It doesn’t make me happy or full.

I hate this in-between love that you give me. I hope you realize that I deserve better than an “in-between”.

We are better than an “in-between”.