The first time I saw my current relationship, its light was so bright I found it hard to look at it. Before I knew it, I was standing right behind her. I searched for my words and said nonsense, but it worked and the following weeks we had become inseparable.
Why is it that when we stand next to them, we can feel so connected, protected, and afraid in an instant?
Why do some people shine a little more than others?
Why can’t only some people see this light, as if it is a beacon specially designed for the other person to notice?
Here are six steps to maintaining a healthy and happy long-term relationship:
1. Exercise.
It is very important to get out and exercise. Exercise produces endorphins, and endorphins make you happy.
I personally practice Tantra yoga every morning. It helps me clear my mind and forget about unwanted and unnecessary thoughts. It teaches me how to breathe through difficult asanas on the mat to be able to cope with external situations.
Merging your life with a partner can be difficult at times. It is good to know how to face these challenges with clarity and compassion.
2. Best friends.
In a long term relationship, lust will fade and we have to think of ourselves. Will you still support his company in 20 years?
Partners who share a common interest and who truly enjoy each other’s company will last longer in a relationship.
3. Are you in an “A” or “H” relationship?
There are two types of relationships. Type “A “:
Imagine that the two people in the relationship are both sides of the “A” and their relationship is the middle line. The two lines have to lean on each other to stay upright and the relationship is what keeps them together. If you take the relationship away, the two people will merge into each other. These relationships are co-dependent and often end badly.
Then there is the relation “H”: the two outer lines of the “H” are independent and the middle line (the relation) connects them. If the relationship is deleted, the two outer lines will remain in place.
So how do you develop an “H” relationship? It is very important that both parties involved have their own lives. Independence is the key. So go out with your friends and let your partner see theirs. Obviously, having common interests is important, but for the sake of your “H”, it is essential to have yours.
4. Don’t shut out the light
Do you remember that bright light that initially attracted you? This light and how you feel when you are there can be addictive. We tend to want more and more. This has the effect of suffocating the other person and turning off the light.
I think relationships end when that light starts to fade. We begin to no longer recognize the person and lose sight of what attracted us.
What can we do to make this light always shine?
Give him / her space to shine; gently nourish that light. Find the right balance between allowing him to follow his own path and walking alongside him.
5. Our mirror.
Often times, we choose a partner who is a reflection of our subconscious. If we are happy, we will attract that energy that looks like us.
It is normal to stress that what annoys us about our partner, it is usually our mirror which reflects back to us what we need to work on within us. It’s good to know what we should be working on.
6. Is it just karma?
When we first meet someone, there is a very strong, uncontrollable, and unreasonable attraction to that person. It may take an hour, a week, or a year before we feel totally connected to that person. Then one day, for a brief moment, we turn around and look at this person and wonder how we did get here. The bond has let your heart go and it’s time to go.
Some connections are only meant to fulfill karma. We learn from them and keep moving forward.
Seek out the person who confidently walks their own path, a path that can easily come closer to yours. A path that, with little compromise and a lot of self-awareness, can work confidently and side by side.
