Sometimes the conflicts and fights are so strong that the relationship reaches a dead end from which it cannot get out. All divorces are caused by that deadlock. Where the feelings of both are completely extinguished. But what happens to the feelings after the divorce? Do they go back to normal or do they stay off forever?
Living the grief of a separation is necessary, regardless of whether the person who suffers it is a man or a woman and after that, it is normal to continue with life and start new relationships.
If you are dating a divorced man and you have doubts regarding everything that has to do with his process and possible attitudes, we will help you solve them.
How does divorce affect men?
Going through a divorce is something tough that can sometimes greatly affect the emotions of those involved. Because you have to keep in mind that for the divorce to finally occur, the relationship had to have been damaged for a long time. Man and woman living in the same house where they became the worst enemies. And these types of experiences leave many repercussions on the emotional health of both.
Like women, a divorce also seriously affects men. However, both have a very different way of dealing with situations: While women take refuge in our family and friends, we cry, we feel the pain, we give ourselves the time necessary to carry out the love duel and then we heal and we return to being the ones. themselves … Men are not very good at that.
For their part, men are a little less expressive. They will not begrudgingly seek the support of their family or friends, even though they may feel their latent pain . Yes they will cry and yes they will suffer , but they will be a little more withdrawn so as not to let it be seen. And when they finally recover, most of their feelings are deteriorated.
The trust and devotion that you once felt for a woman can hardly be restored. Making the work much more expensive for any new woman who comes into his life in the next few years.
What to expect from a relationship with a divorced man?
Now, if you are starting a relationship with a divorced man, you must arm yourself with a lot of courage and ask yourself, Do I really love this man enough? And it is something that you must be 1000% honest with yourself, because one more crack for his heart will be the end for the few emotions that he has left.
Therefore, if you take on the task of making your man go back to being the same as before, to smile again, and feel all the emotions on the surface, bear in mind that it will cost you time, effort and a lot of dedication. . But when you finally manage to break down all the emotional walls that your boy has around him, he will thank you by making you the happiest woman in the world.
At first, it will be very difficult for him to trust you completely. Do not blame him, but let him know that he can count on you for everything , that you will never fail him or betray him. It is better that you demonstrate it daily with deeds and not just words. Also, the displays of affection as gifts or details will be very limited, and do not expect him to be affectionate on the street.
Patience and more patience! With your help and the love you have for him, you will see how little by little everything will change in your relationship. And that fear of re-committing will completely disappear and it will be yours again. Sooner than you think, harmony will reign in your home and it will seem as if your heart has never been broken.
What does a divorced man look for in a relationship?
When a relationship ends, an unstable stage begins for the man that he often would like to eliminate or resolve quickly. This is not something that happens with all men but, for the most part, after a divorce they try to find a partner who provides them with support, love and stability.
- This stability tries to closely resemble the one that was had before the divorce and this is due to the habit that he had been handling, it is his known world and he tries to bring him back. Of course, this emotion and mirror does not mean that you want to have a copy of your ex partner, no. What the man tries to look for is the stability he had before the problems, regardless of the person who provides it.
Support and understanding
This is of the utmost importance for the man, who normally does not like loneliness, much less after a divorce. He also tries to find some kind of support that makes him feel that what happened is not totally his fault and in some way or another try to get rid of responsibilities in the face of the situation.
If you are dating a man who just got divorced, give him support that has no judgment. However, this support must be responsible, that is, it must not free you from guilt or responsibilities, since there are behaviors that surely must improve and you can only do so through recognition.
Stability
Stability is a key factor due to the fact that man has been going through problems that have him on a roller coaster of actions and emotions. Achieving calm after so much chaos is something that everyone wants and values.
How to improve a relationship with a divorced person?
You already know what attitudes your partner may have at the beginning of their relationship, but what can you do to improve the relationship between you ?
- Keep in mind that their attitudes are based on their old relationships. It is important that he does not compare you with his old wife and for this you must let him know that you are you and no one else.
- Be patient and do not demand things from him that he is not prepared to give. This will only make him feel cornered and insecure and push him away. Be grateful for each new gesture, and let her know that you appreciate and love her efforts.
- Show him affection, respect, and love with each passing day.
- Talk to him daily, communicate all your problems and concerns. So he will know that you look at him as someone essential in your life.
Find out where you are in the divorce
Everything that ends or ends must comply with the respective stage of the duel in order to heal the emotions that are generated and have the strength and emotional stability necessary to start a new path.
Grief goes through 5 important stages and in each of these stages emotions move that have to be drained to overcome them effectively. Knowing what stage of the divorce your partner is in will help you understand the attitudes he is presenting and will also guide you so that you can help him if necessary.
Denial stage
The denial stage arises almost immediately after the loss or separation. It can lead to a state of shock and dullness that is usually both emotional and cognitive.
At this stage, the affected person does not accept the fact of the loss and cannot assimilate it . Another type of manifestation occurs when the affected person is aware of the loss they have suffered but does not associate its importance with it and pretends nothing had happened.
Another manifestation is the rapid acceptance of what happened, where unconsciously what it is about is to avoid the pain that the loss produces and to deny the feeling.
Anger stage
Anger occurs when, after accepting the loss, feelings of frustration arise because of not being able to change reality. Commonly, it is about looking for external culprits or you can even blame yourself.
To be able to overcome this stage with satisfaction it is necessary that all the feeling of anger be lived and drained in the best way.
Negotiation stage
This stage lasts a short time and is based on the desire or illusion of doing something to make reality different. Promises can be made to God, information about it can be sought elsewhere, and it is even a matter of changing your attitude to obtain other results that will ultimately be in vain.
In the negotiation stage there are also often fantasies of what would have happened if they had acted differently.
Stage of depression
In the depression stage, the person realizes that something has been lost and there is nothing that can be done about it. Faced with this, a cascade of nostalgia, sadness and pain develops that lead the person to remain isolated for a time.
When this stage cannot be adequately overcome, the confinement becomes prolonged and the depression could extend more than necessary.
Acceptance stage
This stage is an understanding of what happened. The person is aware of the entire process that has happened, of the loss that occurred and that in some way or another life continues.
The acceptance stage leaves a state of peace in the midst of pain and although there are still things to heal, tranquility takes the lead in all emotions.