The importance of saying “I love you”, according to science

Why is it so important to tell people you love them?

There are plenty of reasons why expressing love is a good thing in every way, and they’re all backed by science.

1) It is contagious

Neuroscience suggests that expressing love and appreciation creates a positive chain reaction. Something like a “virtuous circle of love”. When you express your emotions better, people love and appreciate you more.

2) Build longer-lasting relationships

Another neuroscientific study shows that couples who are more expressive and committed to each other build healthier and longer-lasting relationships.

3) You become more loving

When you give your love without expecting anything in return, it comes back to you 10-fold. Research suggests that when you are mindful and compassionate about your love, your brain literally rewires itself to become more positive and loving.

4) It makes you healthier

There is countless research showing that expressing and keeping love in our lives makes us live longer and healthier lives.

5) Increases trust and intimacy

Saying I love you is one of the most powerful declarations of love. Thanks to this, it increases intimacy and builds trust in a relationship.

When should you tell someone you love them?

Timing is everything when you declare your love for someone.

According to philosophy professor Aaron Ben-Zeév:

“Romantic love expresses our genuine attitudes. Revealing our loving heart to a partner is immensely valuable for communication and personal flourishing. However, such a disclosure makes you more vulnerable and can put your partner in an awkward situation, especially if their attitude is different from yours.”

If you tell someone you love them when you’ve only known them a short time, you may come across as naive or lying. If you say it too late, he may think you don’t really love him.

More importantly, you shouldn’t feel pressured to say these two words if you’re not really in love with someone.

So when is the right time?

First, you should always make sure that your feelings are genuine. When you really love someone, you should have very little hesitation in telling them so. 

Second, don’t rush. Genuine love takes time. The attraction is instant. Falling in love can happen in a few days. But real love has to develop and grow.

When the time is right, you will know. Love is something that finally comes to us naturally. When we drop our shell and just let love flow, everything becomes simpler.

No instruction manual is going to be able to tell you exactly the right time and place to tell someone you love them. It is something that arises spontaneously, when real love is there.

5 ways to express love through actions

The words are beautiful and reaffirm the meaning of what we really feel. But without action, words are worthless.

You don’t have to be an expert to make someone feel valued. Actually, it’s the little things that matter the most.

Clinical psychologist Marni Amsellem explains :

“There are countless things you can give and do in your relationship on a daily basis to convey how much you appreciate your loved one. These actions are actually quite small, but they communicate a lot. In the end, this is what really fuels the good relationship. And, as a bonus, these actions don’t require you to spend your month’s salary.”

Here’s how you can express your love, through actions big or small:

1) Love it for what it is…

…not for what you want it to be.

We all have expectations in love. We dream of the “perfect” person , with a list of everything that should be.

But love is not something you can mold according to your own expectations. Trying to force someone to live up to your expectations only hurts and devalues ​​them.

So always make your loved one feel that they are enough just the way they are.

2) Do little things to help him

Prepare coffee in the morning. Surprise him by cooking his favorite dish. Invite him to the movies and let him choose the movie he wants to see.

We often equate deep love with grand gestures. But it is the smallest acts in the service of the other that have the most meaning.

It is the ways in which someone offers to make your life easier, that makes us feel more loved. You just need to realize what they are, to make them for that person you love.

3) Show him appreciation

When we’ve been with someone long enough, we sometimes take the things they do for us for granted.

Remember then that the nicest thing you can do for him is to appreciate the things he does to take care of you and make you happy.

You don’t have to say it in many words. It can be something as small as giving her help when she cooks for you or giving her a big hug when she goes the extra mile to express her love for you.

4) Pay attention

When was the last time you gave him your full attention during a dinner conversation? Or were you attentive to the things they like?

It’s easy to forget to care for someone you love. Especially if you feel like you know him completely.

But love is not something you can just neglect.

Nor do you need to pay attention to it 24 hours a day. Only when you see that it is necessary.

A study published in the journal Personal Relationships shows that simply practicing small expressions of gratitude every day can have a highly uplifting effect on your relationships.

5) Don’t forget to seduce him

According to research, the infatuation phase only lasts 12 to 24 months.

But that’s not necessarily a bad thing, says certified counselor Jonathan Bennett:

“Although it sounds negative, the end of the infatuation stage can be a positive thing. It allows both of you to see each other for who you really are, and decide if the relationship is worth continuing. Also, you can prolong passion and happiness, it just takes more work. If you’re dating a great person, he should be more than willing to put in the effort! «

So just because you’ve been with someone for a long time, it doesn’t mean you stop flirting and rediscovering the love you have for each other.

the expression of love

“It goes without saying: Love, I love you. Let your whole being tell him. If you love someone, it will show, it is not necessary to say it with words constantly. The way you say it will express it; the way you move will express it; how you look will express it. Your whole being will express it.”

– Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh

Ideally, expressing love should be as natural as breathing. But we all have the human tendency to keep our hearts safe.

If you’re having trouble showing your love and appreciation to someone, try to remember that the most beautiful experiences we have in life happen when we open up to them.

From now on, don’t hesitate to tell someone you love them. Not only will you make him immensely happy, but you will feel wonderful doing it.