Do you have the feeling that your husband ignores you and feels like there’s nothing you can do to fix it?
We have all the answers you need.
Do you feel like you can walk around the house in leopard-skin panties and high heels and still not get your husband’s attention?
The feeling of being ignored and underappreciated in a marriage can lead to bad behavior on both sides and is something that needs to be addressed immediately.
If you’re constantly thinking, “my husband ignores me,” you’re probably feeling unhappy in your marriage.
Fortunately, we’re here to help.
Your husband is more than just your partner.
His role is to be your lover, your protector, and your best friend.
Feeling that what you do or say doesn’t matter to the person whose role it is to love you more than anything else can hurt, and as mentioned earlier, can even lead you to turn on your husband.
My Husband Ignores Me… The Problems.
Let’s take a look at the common problems you may face with an ungrateful partner, as well as the do’s and don’ts to get their attention.
1. He Prefers To Be With His Friends.
Do you feel like your husband ignores you and would rather go out with his friends than spend a night with you?
You used to feel like you were the main event in his life, but since you got married, you’re more of an extra.
Now it’s cooler to play cards with friends at the bar than to watch Netflix with you.
The logic: Give your husband the benefit of the doubt for now here.
The longer you’ve been married, the more likely you’re both to take each other’s attention for granted.
Since you now live together and don’t need to get dressed up for a date, hanging out with friends feels like an excuse to explore the city again.
The Solution: This is a natural progression as some marriages may just need a simple conversation to resolve the situation.
Tell your husband that you love the fact that he has strong friendships, and that you would like to have a special day with him to strengthen your relationship as well.
Set a day, once a week, for this.
Exchanging the things you both like will help him see that you’re interested in his hobbies too.
For example, one night could be with the two of you playing video games and eating the way he would with his friends.
Next time, try taking him for a walk or doing something touristy.
Sharing fun activities will remind him how great it is to spend time with you, your friend side instead of just his wife.
2. He Doesn’t Message Me.
At the beginning of the relationship, your husband couldn’t wait to talk to you.
I’d probably call or text you during work and don’t forget to include the cute emojis, just to make you laugh and feel special.
The logic: now that you’re married, he sees you every single day. This makes it difficult for him to share things with you via WhatsApp since you already share everything when you get home.
The solution: Tell your husband that you miss getting cute messages from him. Encourage him to text by sending him messages first.
Even if you don’t have anything new to share, try sending just a kissing emoji or a heart and wait for a response.
Tag him in funny and weird videos on Instagram so he gets a notification.
The more you show him that you’re thinking about him during the day, the more he’ll reciprocate and think about you too.
3. We Don’t Talk Anymore.
One of the biggest problems in a marriage is when you stop communicating.
When you stop opening up to him and vice versa, resentment starts to build up, which can trigger the snowball effect.
The logic: A communication breakdown can be the result of a lot of things: boredom, resentment over your behavior, stress, unidentified family issues, or even an extramarital relationship.
It could be anything.
The solution: It’s good for you to ask your partner to have an open and honest conversation with you about why they don’t want to talk to you anymore.
When one side is trying and the other side stops the planet to leave, the consequences can be disastrous.
If your husband isn’t comfortable sharing reasons for disconnecting, encourage him to join you in couples therapy.
4. He Doesn’t Care About Your Problems.
When you’re thinking, “my husband is ignoring me… he doesn’t care about my problems!” it can put a lot of stress on your relationship.
He may even have love and attention in other aspects of the marriage, but he doesn’t pay much attention to your family and personal problems.
The logic: just like women, men can also be very selfish.
The good news? He may not even be aware that he is ignoring your problems.
Men are programmed to solve problems.
While women want to hear or remake problems, men want to find a solution for them… especially for the woman they chose to protect.
If you’re having an ongoing problem that your husband can’t resolve right away, he may be emotionally withdrawn because he can’t do anything.
The solution: if you think your problem can be solved, explain to your husband: that while it’s nice that he wants to play superman and solve your problems in an instant, sometimes the best way to help you through the process is to listen. to him.
If you believe that there are other unidentified issues and that he is not interested in your personal issues, you need to ask him how important marriage is to him and ask him to seek advice from you.
A list of do’s and don’ts to gain his attention.
1. Do: Be Patient.
So now that you’ve made your husband aware that you’re being ignored, he’s actively trying to adjust his behavior.
Keep in mind that habits are hard to break, and even if he’s genuinely trying to put you in the spotlight of his world, it’s going to take some time.
You may get frustrated when he displays old behaviors, but try to be patient and acknowledge the small changes he is making.
Don’t: Accuse Him Constantly.
If so, it might be hard to stop yourself from jumping on his neck and accusing him of cheating.
If he has told you that there is no other woman in his life, and you have no reason to doubt him, then forget about that idea. If not, take a look at his cell phone.
If you still don’t find anything, then you’ll just have to take his word for it.
Men don’t like to have their integrity questioned, especially if he’s being legitimately honest with you.
If you have no reason to doubt his words, forget about the fuss and focus on repairing the relationship.
2. Do: Find a way to bond.
If you don’t feel like going to couples therapy together, try some other way to open up and bond with him.
Some couples have done things as simple as studying the Bible together, watching videos together on YouTube about strengthening the relationship, or going to the gym together… it all adds up to success!
Don’t: Bring Up Things From the Past.
Has he had a lover in the past?
Don’t throw it in his face in an effort to punish him for ignoring you.
This was a problem in the past and should have no effect on your relationship today.
Instead of playing the blame game, focus on the issues that are affecting you today.
3. Do: One day a week for just the two of you.
As well as finding a bonding exercise, having a day a week just for the two of you will help you remain close friends and lovers.
It will also remind your husband why he loved hanging out with you.
Don’t: Stay Distant.
If your husband is into repairing the marriage, don’t be distant just because you’re angry.
Communication is the key in any relationship.
Don’t try to get even, thinking it will somehow help the marriage.
Instead, keep communication open every day, and don’t be afraid to talk about your progress.
4. Do: Remind Him of Your Efforts.
What if your husband wants to work on problems, but he’s not very talkative?
Keeping an open journal in a conspicuous place in the house is a great way to communicate with him non-verbally, and get him to communicate with you too.
Write down what you love about your partner and your marriage.
Write one message a day, detailing a memory you loved, a trait you admire in your partner, or a situation the two of you are going through.
This will help keep the channels of communication open and can sometimes be easier than talking directly.
Don’t: Don’t Force Him To Open Up.
While it’s important to remind both him and yourself that you’re working to improve your marriage, let him do the same…at his own pace.
Forcing him to do anything will only make him walk away.
It can be frustrating to feel ignored or underappreciated, but don’t give up!
Your marriage worked once and it sure can work again.
With little effort, patience, and kindness on both sides, you will go back to being best friends with the benefits of marriage when you least realize it!