Often, a relationship is the focus of life itself, the solid anchor and an impressive emotional spectacle. But, as in other areas, relationships are not immune to low and nearly insurmountable problems.
Of course, you are by your partner’s side even in difficult times, but at some point there will come a point where you must end an unhappy relationship, no matter how painful the idea. A relationship should enrich your life and not become a heavy burden.
Consequently, an end is not a failure, but the opportunity for a new beginning. But what are the signs of an inevitable closing line? And how can you say goodbye to the once great love?
Ending a Relationship: These Reasons Speak Why
As with any partnership, the reasons for ending a relationship are individual. Above all, one question hangs over every relationship: Do I want to spend the rest of my life with this person and am I happy with it? The most important signs emerge from this fundamental question. If you don’t see a future with your partner or are unhappy, there are many arguments in favor of a breakup.
But other factors can also influence your decision. For example, if your partner has little time to spend hours together, but that’s exactly what you want from a relationship, it might make sense to consider ending the relationship. Interests, arguments, respect, infidelity, trust and leisure activities are also points that can guide your decision.
If you no longer feel comfortable in the common home, prefer to spend time without your partner, everything about him bothers you and the idea of separation keeps coming up despite love, it seems that there is little substance left for a future together.
In general, if you are dissatisfied with certain points and are not ready to give in in the long run, you should address them and try to work out a solution with your partner. But these efforts should not be a permanent condition. Therefore, if you find that there are points in your partnership that cannot be changed, that you cannot live with, or that harmony and love have been lost, it is time to end the relationship.
Caution: There is a strict limit to verbal or physical violence, there is no justification for abuse. Then you should – preferably with the opportunity to quickly and safely escape the situation – end the relationship.
10 questions to ask yourself before ending your relationship
- Do you feel remorse about your environment or your children, without whom you would have run away from the relationship a long time ago, or are you just clinging to love for solace?
- Do you and your partner paint a common future based on the same values, plans and goals, or does a future without your partner seem more fulfilling?
- Does the relationship consist of trust, respect, tolerance and individuality or are you overwhelmed and kept small?
- Can you forgive your partner or do recurring arguments always end up in the normal no-argument routine?
- Is your relationship just constant criticism and blame, or acceptance and tolerance?
- Are there constant behaviors in your partner that you definitely cannot live with permanently?
- Have you adequately articulated the problems you are having in the relationship and have tried unsuccessfully to resolve them with your partner?
- Do you have to constantly fight for moments of relationship happiness and have they become a rare rarity?
- Are you just friends or are you still a couple who have passionate feelings for each other?
Ending a relationship: this is how you should do it
The end of a partnership is associated with painful separation phases and fears for both partners. In order not to make this moment worse, you must have empathy. First, remember one thing: you know your partner best and you know the easiest way to deal with them. It may help to think about how you would like to be informed when a relationship has ended.
Breaking up emotionally is not a good idea. So before you have a breakup conversation, you really should be sure.
When it comes to timing, a second factor is also important: If your partner is going through a stressful time or suffering from an illness, it might make sense to wait a while — unless there are good reasons to end the relationship right away. But that doesn’t mean you should play in an ideal world! Because it is advisable to articulate in advance your dissatisfaction on a daily basis.
At best, you’ve written down all the reasons and can present specific reasons for your decision in front of your partner. It’s not about blaming yourself; instead, you should be able to explain why you want to end the relationship. In the separation interview, you must be fair, respectful and calm, not rush and not make accusations. Location is also an important factor: choose a neutral, non-public location that offers retreat venues.
Last but not least, you should give your ex-partner enough space to process the breakup. So it might make sense to have a conversation at home and then drive to see relatives, for example. Because no matter how your partner reacts, the decision was also difficult for you and no one is solely to blame – so it’s not your job to comfort them.
Ending a relationship despite love
Before you decide to end your relationship, you should know if you are still ready to fight. But if you feel better without your partner, it makes sense to draw a line. So listen to your heart and take time to reflect. Once you’ve made up your mind, you should proceed with caution in the breakup conversation and put yourself in your partner’s shoes. If you then ask yourself “relationship is over, now what?”, one thing applies above all: be consistent and don’t give up to avoid a breakup in the long term.