All of us men know this: we meet a wonderful, super-hot woman and in the end, we end up in the “friend zone”. In this article, I will explain what the word means exactly and how you can get out of this unfortunate situation. You will also receive tips on how to avoid the friend zone so that you are not so easily treated as a friend by women in the future.
What is the friend zone? Definition and meaning
When I started flirting, the word “Friendzone” didn’t even exist, and Facebook hadn’t been invented yet. At the time, I knew the problem all too well: I was just good friends with her, and women never dreamed of having a relationship with me. But what does friendzone mean now? As you can certainly guess, the English expression means “friend zone” when translated.
Like everyone else, women organize their lives into specific drawers. There is a compartment called “Friendship” and another called “Love, and Relationship”.
Being in the friend zone means she’s put him in the “friendship” drawer. She doesn’t see him – as difficult as it is – as an attractive man. You are a good friend to them, nothing more, nothing less.
You can also say that she has “befriended” you. Anyone who wants to get out of this situation and awaken love in their loved one has a lot of persuasions ahead of them! But don’t worry, I’ll be happy to help you with my tips for turning cool friendships into warm love.
“Sorry, no relationship…” – Why do so many men end up in the friend zone
There could be several reasons why you can’t get out of the friend zone or why you are only seen as a friend. The woman may just not be into you, be in love with someone else, already in a relationship, or not want to ruin your good friend.
Most of the time though, it’s because men don’t send clear signals in the direction of a relationship when they meet and on a date and don’t initiate flirting. They are afraid to show their interest openly, i.e. they avoid touching women, giving them clear compliments (even on Facebook), or looking them right in the eye – let alone trying to kiss them.
You behave like a good friend and it shouldn’t be surprising if the person you love sees you in exactly the same way: as a platonic friend.
It used to be exactly the same for me: despite my feelings, I just didn’t dare to flirt with women, and I just didn’t want to take any chances – for fear of getting a stump. But at some point, I realized I had nothing to lose and switched to “attack”. Because a friendship where one always wants more from the other is just a big lie.
Am I in your friend zone? 7 Signs You’re Getting Started
Many men feel insecure when they meet a woman – I feel it over and over again with my clients. You wonder: Do I still have a chance at a relationship, or has she already made me a friend zone? These men look for signs that tell them if the woman likes them or if it’s just friendship.
In other blog articles, I’ve written about flirting signs and body language. If you notice these flirtatious signs in her, the iron will still be hot – emotions are likely involved. On the other hand, there are some pretty clear signs that you are in the friend zone:
- The woman does more masculine things with you instead of dating you as if you were your friend (e.g. drinking beer, visiting the football stadium, running)
- She asks for favors more often (e.g. fixing her bike, painting her apartment, or helping her with homework/college work)
- She complains to you about her (ex) friends and lovers
- She Emphasizes Her “Good Friendship” Rather Than Talking About Love
- She likes to welcome you without makeup, without feeling uncomfortable.
- She rarely does anything alone with you, but with friends (to avoid the impression of a “date”)
- Plays little, at most with a hug to greet him or with clearly friendly gestures (high five)
Certainly, there are more signs that clearly show that you’ve made friends with you and that your ship isn’t sailing into a relationship. Most of the time, you already have a feeling if this is just friendship or if the woman has feelings for you. At least that’s always my case.
The most important question: How do I leave the Friendzone?
I know being in the friend zone is a really bad feeling, especially when you have something like love for the woman. You are always available to her, you are good and courteous, and comfort her when she is feeling down. Always a great friend. Even so, she finds this male who keeps playing with her again until she sits crying next to her on the couch…
Many men ask themselves: What am I doing wrong to end up in the friend line every time? Why doesn’t she feel love for me? So I’d like to show you the best way to get out of the friend zone – and you’ll become more than just good friends.
Escape the friend zone with male attractions
You already have their trust, because you’re friendly, trustworthy, and always keep an eye out for their concerns, right? This is good, but also very annoying at the same time. She doesn’t have a tingling sensation like that. It sounds paradoxical, but it’s true: your kindness in particular ensures that you get stuck in the friend zone.
Of course, if you want to get out of your situation, you shouldn’t become an idiot and treat her badly. You just need to appear a little more attractive to her and turn her date into a real one so she sees you as a potential partner for an exciting relationship.
Finally, get out of the friend zone in 7 steps:
Don’t tell her you’ve fallen in love with her – that phrase is really killer! Also, don’t ask if she has feelings for you or what’s between you. Instead of confessing your love to her or begging for it, you should proceed as follows:
1. Improve appearance:
How is your appearance? Attractiveness starts with looks. Go to the hairdresser and get a new haircut. Look for attractive clothes, well-groomed skin, and short nails. Losing a little weight if you are overweight and increasing your muscles can’t do any harm either.
2. Become less present:
The woman is used to the fact that you are there for her as an on-call friend. Unfortunately, that makes it pretty uninteresting. So it doesn’t hurt to put the contact on hold for a while to increase your value to her. Don’t write to her so often on Facebook either! In general, you should have less time for her so that she realizes that you also have other important things to do and that she might miss you…
3. Don’t say out loud often:
Set clear boundaries for the woman instead of playing the idiot she loves. You are not her psychotherapist, lawyer, or craftsman. You definitely don’t have to listen to her problems and arguments with her man. She can also do her tax return, and math homework, or clean the stairs on her own.
4. Playful and cheeky treatment:
Now it’s time to switch to flirting mode to get out of the friend zone. Tease her more often and drag her into the chocolate. You can also just start a pillow fight while on the couch or pull some harmless pranks. The most important thing is that you won’t be boring to this girl.
5. Show interest in other women:
Many of the insecure men are shoving their best friends’ buttocks in hopes that at some point they can wash their clothes. You are no longer of today! Instead, show her your independence by talking about other women as well as getting to know them. Maybe she gets a little jealous… That’s good, competition is good for business after all!
6. Tap to seduce:
Along with compliments, you should also start with touches that you intensify over time. Therefore, she will feel that you want to get out of the friend zone. Start with hugs and look her right in the eye. Later, you take her hand or put your arm around her shoulder.
7. Slowly but surely, until the climax:
You can escalate the whole dating thing. It might even turn into a relationship when she learns to appreciate the tiger in you and can’t keep her hands off you anymore…
With this 9-point plan, you will step out of the friend zone step by step – at least if the woman is as interested in you as you are in her.
“Just Good Friends…” Handling Rejection Properly
In my experience, you will often encounter resistance if you want to get out of the friend zone with her. The woman sees you as a platonic friend and will try to keep you in your usual patterns. “Hey, what’s the point now?! Friends don’t do that! ” she may ask and move away from you on the couch if you suddenly grab her knee.
It’s always best to proceed slowly and carefully if you want to get out of the friend zone. This gives the woman time to get used to her new behavior and new you. However, if she backs down or blames you, opening up helps. Tell her that you find her attractive and that it was a mistake to just treat her as a friend. In any case, continue with your advances as if nothing happened.
However, if this good friend doesn’t respond to any of your attempts at flirting and doesn’t fall in love, you should respect that and look for other women you might be more successful with. You have to decide if you will remain friends, just write on Facebook from time to time, or if the oven is completely off and your contact is closed.
Escape the friend zone – not an easy task for us men
You know that I always serve you pure wine and that I am honest – because I don’t want to make false promises to you. From experience, I can assure you: It’s hard to get out of the friend zone if you’re up to your neck in it. Because it’s like this?
Quite simply: the woman has grown used to you as a good friend, not as a potential partner. That’s why she expects you to do typical friend behavior on bar nights or table tennis duels — without kissing, touching, or even love. Maybe friendship with you has become so important to her that she doesn’t want to give up anymore.
Avoid the nasty friend zone on the first date
The good news: escaping the buddy line is difficult, but not impossible. It is best, however, to avoid getting to know each other in the friend zone and immediately set the course in the direction of love. This is much easier than when the child has already fallen into the well and you have to laboriously get out of the friend zone again.
You avoid having a friend zone by aggressively flirting with the girl the first time you meet and also on the first date. This means: playing with her in a playful way, talking about intimate issues, giving her clear praise, and touching her physically. Based on their reactions, you’ll immediately find out where she is – without first slipping into the Friendzone swamp!