Relationship killers: The 15 most common things that weigh on you as a couple

It sizzles between you and your partner, but this time it’s not the romantic charge that teeters between the two of you – instead, a tough argument is looming. The reason for this is an often underrated relationship killer. 

You just can’t stand the fact that your partner can never really put their smartphone down, is stuck at work, or treats you with disrespect and now it finally erupts from you. You are angry and a devastating argument erupts in the relationship. Do you know it? Let’s reveal 14 more everyday relationship killers that can ruin your love.

1. Your cell phone is your constant companion

Hardly anyone can imagine a day without a smartphone, and when it comes to relationship killers, the cell phone is at the forefront. If, for example, eating together or watching TV is constantly interrupted and disturbed when looking at the smartphone,  the small electronics can quickly overflow and spread a bad mood.

Tip: Introduce a cell phone ban for hours straight during which the two of you banish your smartphone from your area, for example in a box.

2. Relationship threatened by work

In the globalized world, it is not so easy not to take your work into your private life. This is a frequent reason for relationship conflict: according to one study, work stress and long working hours have already led to relationship disputes in about two-thirds (64 percent) of couples. 

Because if you can no longer enjoy your private life, you not only burden yourself, but you can also neglect your own partner. For this reason, the relationship has broken down for one in five people – but it doesn’t have to be that way.

Try this: make sure certain days of the week are strictly outside working hours when the laptop will definitely not open. Instead, plan outings that keep you from thinking about the next work week.

3. The child stays between you

Having a child together is the culmination of a love affair. But family life really shakes up everyday life. If you and your partner were a well-rehearsed team, the birth of a baby can, at worst, stagnate your relationship as there is almost no time left for bonding. Another relationship killer is your partner’s child from a previous partnership. Problems with a loved one’s child can be a challenge and involve hard work to find a functional and very harmonious family constellation.

Tip: Try spending time together on a fixed night of the week. It’s also a nice change for the child to spend an evening with the grandparents or a nanny. This is how you can defuse relationship stress that arises.

4. Narrow: it’s too much

Your partner can’t let you go and never leave your side. While this is a great sign, of what love really is, but indicated at the same point an unhealthy long-term partnership. Because obviously, a relationship of dependency has developed that pushes him into a corner and takes away all his freedom.

Note:   If you feel self-conscious, ask your partner to do more activities with friends and make them enjoyable for your partner.

5. Selfishness Destroys Partnership

Selfishness can open up a barrier between the couple. Even though you should never commit to a partnership, you shouldn’t just focus on your own interests: that’s very good. If your loved one only pursues their own goals and you fall by the wayside, you won’t be able to lead a happy partnership.

Tip: Try to make it clear to your significant other that you are a valued part of the relationship and that you have needs. Don’t formulate criticism as an attack, but offer solutions to work around existing problems.

6. Criticism prevails, there is almost no praise

Your partner has no ulterior motives when they want to give you constructive tips along the way. However, proper criticism can be misinterpreted and misinterpreted by the other person. If, on the other hand, the other person gets used to this behavior, the relationship can quickly degenerate into arrogance and abuse. This negative attitude and mood make you risk the relationship because you both feel uncomfortable and not understood.

Important: You must not allow yourself to be mistreated. Explain to your partner that you are hurt by the criticism and try to get them into a fair relationship. Praise and recognition, on the other hand, never hurt anyone.

7. Handling is dangerous

A working relationship needs no manipulation. However, manipulative behavior dominates many partnerships. Things go wrong and it’s a relationship killer when you have to change and give up on yourself to please your partner.

Caution: If your partner doesn’t stop after repeatedly pointing out this unpleasant behavior, you should ask your environment or a relationship counselor for advice. In the worst-case scenario, towards the end of a relationship, you need to decide to let go of this unhealthy relationship.

8. Disrespect indicates weakness

Respect is an important word and a fundamental part of a couple’s relationship. If that mutual trait is lacking, it’s an elemental relationship killer. If your partner doesn’t treat you fairly and doesn’t communicate with you on an equal footing, it can quickly cause relationship problems.

Important: Clearly signal to your loved one that you want to be treated with respect like everyone else. If nothing changes in the other person’s behavior, you should pull the cut cord.

9. Lies end up being relationship killers

They always exist, the little falsehoods, but someone who is partnered with a notorious liar will hardly be able to build trust anymore. For example, if your partner lies to you about how they spend the night, something is wrong and the other person needs to understand that this is putting the relationship at risk.

Tip  : You must not tolerate lies. Explain to your partner how the behavior damages the bond and abuses your feelings.

10. Intransigence puts obstacles in your way

When two people want to be together as a couple, compromises are part of everyday life. As an individual, everyone has their own opinion and ideas on certain topics. If your partner doesn’t want to get to know you, this can quickly become a relationship killer in everyday life.

Note: Obviously, find your partner so that he realizes what it means to give and receive and that he also has to get to know you.

11. Lack of appreciation takes away love

If the rose-tinted glasses are slowly fading from the beginning of the relationship, it could be that your partner has let in a big relationship killer: lack of appreciation is often noticeable in routine. But if the other person doesn’t show you how important you are to them, it will undermine your belief in your partnership, and at some point, you will simply live one after the other. At worst, it can be concluded that your partner is only with you for convenience.

Note: Find the conversation and explore why your partner isn’t showing you how much he loves you. If he simply forgot to express his feelings, you should work together to awaken them with common rituals.

12. Breach of trust is a deterrent

While lies scratch trust, betrayal can suddenly shake trust deeply. Because such a reaction goes beyond the question, “What is disruptive about the formation of day-to-day relationships?”

Caution: In such a situation, think carefully about whether you can forgive such mistakes or whether you would live happier without an unfaithful partner.

13. Financial situation can be a problem

Aside from the emotional level, external factors also play a role when it comes to relationship killers. If your loved one exploits you financially or leads you to ruin, it is difficult to deal with. Money can be a reason for separation – regardless of who pays for what or if there really are bottlenecks.

Tip: If dealing with money doesn’t fit your ideas, you should insist on separate accounts. Thus, both can manage the money independently. At worst, debt counseling is the last resort.

14. Different life plans allow you to distance yourself

At the beginning of the relationship, there is nothing like your partner. But in the course of your love affair and especially in a phase typical of the mid-life crisis of men and women, in connection with the general dissatisfaction with yourself, concrete life plans and goals arise again, which you yourself set yourself before. a long time, but lost sight. Differences in these future ideas and dreams can become a real relationship killer, especially if there is no common denominator.

Important  : Deal with your desires and dreams and the desires of your significant other and motivate them to do the same. A better understanding of each other’s thoughts and points of view can save your relationship.

15. No similarity jeopardizes leisure time

You may be enamored of many of your partner’s traits, but if you lack basic similarities, it will quickly become boring and difficult to find common ground. If you don’t share hobbies and rarely spend your free time in pairs, the relationship is at risk.

Recommendation: Try new things that you can enjoy together. It’s important that you and your loved one get involved — and don’t show a negative attitude from the start.

Conclusion: Relationship Killers Don’t Always Have to End in a Breakup

There are many direct and indirect pressures and conflicts that sooner or later you as a couple will face. While some of them suggest a separation, others can be resolved through fair and thoughtful negotiations together. 

The most important thing is that you clear your doubts about the relationship. Share what’s bothering you and look for solutions. But if your expectations don’t match reality, you must act. If relationship killers cause worry and discomfort in everyday life, it’s not the right way to keep that bond any longer!