Learn to Flirt – and Overcome Shyness
Imagine you see a beautiful woman on the train or at the cheese counter in a supermarket. What’s going through your head the moment you see them? There are certainly thoughts like:
- “This attractive girl has a boyfriend!”
- “I’m not even playing in their league / I’m not good enough for them!”
- “I’m very shy!”
- “I will embarrass myself to the bone – in front of everyone!”
- “She’s going to give me a violent stump!”
All these negative thoughts are like little building blocks that make a tall, thick wall. The more limiting beliefs you have, the greater this bulwark becomes.
What is dangerous about this negative thinking:
You’ve built an imaginary boundary for yourself. This limit is often so strong that you don’t even dare to talk to the woman because of uncertainty and fear of contact.
So you miss the unique chance to meet her. It’s a shame, don’t you think? Maybe she was the woman of his dreams…
1. End negative thinking!
So put the wrecking ball on your inner wall that is keeping you from reaching your goal! To learn how to flirt, the first thing you must do is try to transform negative thought patterns into positive thoughts.
Before approaching a woman, you can ask yourself the following questions:
- What if I talk to her and she thinks I’m a good match?
- What would happen if she gave me her cell phone number?
- And if she is the right woman, then shouldn’t I talk to her?
Write these questions down on a small piece of paper and every time you are in a situation of feeling insecurities and fears, you should briefly go inside yourself and answer these questions. You will be amazed at the impact they will have on you.
2. Learning to flirt like a man: talking to them
With the right attitude towards flirting, you’re sure to ask yourself: How does one get into a conversation perfectly?
At least when it comes to approaching women on a daily basis, it has proven to be a good idea not to avoid stalling for too long but to start with a direct compliment.
Women just like honest guys who are brave and speak their minds bluntly.
When flirting in the club, you can also start the conversation with a humorous question or a joke. The following applies here: Party people want to have a good time, so don’t be a pain in the ass from the first second, but be a nice prankster!
3. Always smile in a friendly way
It looks so natural, but it’s not for many men…
Because they want to look cool and macho like James Bond, OR but (and I think this is your case) they just forget to smile out of sheer nervousness.
By the way, the German Allensbach Institute found that at least 81% of communication is non-verbal. Facial expressions, gestures, tonality, and posture play a much bigger role than words.
That’s why what you say is not so important. Much more important is the HOW! A compliment with a stiff facial expression and a monotone voice will not work. The woman may get the feeling that you are not serious.
On the other hand, a man who approaches a woman and glows so brightly that even the darkest rooms are filled with light will certainly be able to summon a smile from the person in front of him.
4. Be different: start with fire
Exciting flirting is so much more than just saying hello. Creating physical attraction between you is your job. After all, you’re the man and you want to win the woman’s heart, right?
So be more original than other men. Feel free to challenge her a bit by teasing her. Women love it! But avoid the classic 0815 questions in conversation:
- Where do you come from?
- What are you doing?
- What are your hobbies?
These questions are the same as if you were given warm soup in the hospital. It has decent taste.
Likewise, the conversation is only of limited interest. When cooking, it is the seasoning that evokes the flavor. That spice is the humor in the conversation. Women want fun – and if we’re being completely honest with ourselves, we want that too.
With humor, you go much further than dry topics. Here is a small example to make the conversation more exciting again:
You: What are your hobbies?
Him: Snail breeding, recently I even managed to pair two of them (with a smile)
5. Go from Strange to Familiar
It is important that a woman can trust you. Why does it happen?
As you probably know, women are physically inferior to men. Therefore, it is essential that a woman has confidence in a man, after all, you can also be a murderer. It sounds far-fetched, but research has shown that women’s biggest fear when dating online is that they will encounter a serial killer.
She just wants to make sure nothing bad happens to her. What women want is fundamental to understanding how to achieve a deep connection so that woman feels safe.
In order not to be a stranger anymore, she logically needs to get to know him better. Therefore, you must open up and show the woman her world. Tell her about things that make you stand out, your dreams, and everything you’ve experienced. Even if you reveal your deep secrets to her, it creates a strong feeling of familiarity.
6. Prepare to meet her again
No meetings without a cell phone number or Facebook name. We agree with that, right? At least the contact information will make the next step easier.
If you had a good time, there’s a crackle of physical tension between you and you have a thing or two in common, then ask her for her cell phone number. You owe it to her and yourself!
But don’t ask for their number directly.