Is he serious? how to find out

Online contact has been made, your male partner piques a keen interest in you, and in an exciting chat, you are already tapping your sore fingers in anticipation of a live date. But at the latest at this moment, a question arises in you: is he serious? Maybe he’s just playing his games while you’re yearning for a serious relationship and finding a partner for life.

How can I tell if he’s serious? If you want to understand men, you need to take a closer look at their behavior and their verbal and non-verbal cues. We’ve rounded up some signs that you can tell when dating online and offline that he has serious intentions. We will also provide you with a checklist with which you can test your counterpart’s seriousness.

5 Signs He’s Serious

1. He answers often

Starting with a loving morning greeting and short messages between a digital goodnight kiss – if he calls you frequently and all day long without you having to call, chances are pretty good that he means business. After all, you can’t get it out of your head.

2. He makes plans for the future

The desire for children, family planning, or moving in together doesn’t always have to come first as conclusive proof that he’s serious. Even joint activities, such as a short trip or an elaborate concert visit, that require long-term planning can be an indication that he is interested in more.

3. You have deep conversations

You feel completely understood when you have online chats or live conversations together. And not just because of shared hobbies or interests. Do the topics he covers go beyond superficial conversation? If your communication has already reached a deeper level and feelings are also kicking in, this is not only a sign of growing trust but also that he is serious.

4. His friends and family know about you

Before you even start dating, he’ll tell you that he’s already talked to his best friend about you. Or he insists that you meet his family early on in the dating phase. The signs that he has a serious interest in you couldn’t be clearer.

5. He wants a third date

The question often arises as to what date the situation becomes serious. The rule of threes could indicate that he has serious intentions. If he suggests a third date alone, it’s definitely a positive sign in the right direction.

4 Signs He’s Not Serious

1. He only responds when needed

Is the communication quite choppy, the chat frequency erratic, and does he only respond when you write to him, or does he need something anyway? The question of whether your Internet acquaintance is serious about online dating seems superfluous in this case.

2. He only talks about himself

Talking a lot is not typical of a man, but if he constantly talks about himself and does not integrate it into his statements, it is not a good basis for a serious two-way relationship. If he is serious, your conversations will be balanced and on an equal footing.

3. He is hiding you

Are your social contacts limited to the people around you and your circle of friends or family has been taboo for you until now? If you think he’s hiding you, he doesn’t seem really serious about you.

4. He is unreliable

He always cancels short-term commitments, is a master excuser, and tends to be highly unreliable in all planning – so this is a sure sign that you are not at the top of his priorities and, unfortunately, a sign that he is serious.

Quiz: Is He Serious?

How can I tell if he’s serious? This little checklist can help you in your search for more certainty. However, when working with it, it’s important to know that not every man works the same way. Depending on the type of man, reactions to the test to determine whether he has serious intentions are different. If you can score most of those ten points, however, chances are good that he’s serious.

  • He talks about you in the presence of others in the form of “we”
  • He texts you often 
  • He likes your flaws and weaknesses
  • He wants to know everything about you
  • He is very attentive and takes note of the details of your conversations
  • He surprises you with small things
  • He plans long-term activities for two
  • He takes the initiative to want to see you again and again
  • He wants to introduce you to his friends or his family
  • You just have a good feeling about him.

Bottom line: is he serious about me? Pay attention to the clues, and listen to your inner voice!

Of course, not all men can be grouped together and it certainly isn’t always easy to see through what men want. But there is evidence that supports their serious intentions. Therefore, it is important that you read his behavior and reactions correctly if you want to know if he is serious. And if the signs and signs still don’t paint a clear picture, then just listen to the answers that your inner voice and intuition give you.

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