I know you want to yell at him and ask him why he behaves like an as**h**le.
I know you are lost and frustrated, because you don’t know why he never writes to you first, but always responds when you write to him.
And you have every right to feel that way.
You have every right to ask yourself: BUT WHY DON’T I WRITE FIRST?
Is it a game or is it just that I like him but he doesn’t like messages? Or do I not like him and he’s just trying to be polite?
Before drawing any hasty conclusions, there are a few things to think about.
First, think about the type of relationship you have. Are you together and did he stop writing to you, when before he was always the first to do so?
Are you the first to write to a guy you just met, hoping things will change?
If you are in a relationship and he stops writing to you first, this can be a warning signal.
But take the context into consideration as well as any other detail, this is what will allow you to really know what’s going on.
Don’t think he doesn’t love you anymore. No, it is often much more complicated than that.
A man you are dating will stop writing to you because something is bothering him.
Internal or external factors are likely to explain such behavior.
The internal factors are related to your relationship and the best thing you can do is to remember recent events and try to identify any unusual behavior he may have had towards you.
If you’re not sure, you can ask friends for help, but be careful and don’t overdo it, or you could drive him crazy, rather than fixing the problem.
External factors are related to everything outside your relationship (work, family, friends, hobbies, etc.).
How do you know which ones are involved?
In order to know whether these are internal or external factors, you need to be attentive to his behavior towards you, to his body language (is something upsetting him), etc.
It is easy to know if he is angry with you and subtly ignores you by not writing to you any more first, since men are useless when it comes to concealing their true feelings about us!
But there is one thing that men are good at: forgetting to tell us that there is something that bothers them.
When they are stressed because of something happened at work or in their family, the first thing they do is hide in their cave. They are afraid to show their vulnerability by telling you about what is bothering them.
This is why they try to forget and act as if nothing has happened.
They forget to write to you first, but when you write to them, they act like everything is fine in their life and because they don’t want you to worry about them.
I know it’s frustrating and unfair, but that’s how men work.
There is another similar scenario: you just met a guy, you keep writing to him first and he sends you nice responses, encouraging messages, but deep down, you know something is wrong, because he never writes to you first.
You really like this boy and you try to justify his behavior, but sometimes his pleasant answers are explained quite differently than you thought.
1. He has other priorities at that time
There, it means that you like him, but that at this precise moment, he has other priorities and that when he is finished with them, he will come back to you.
His other priorities include: work, family, animals, friends and the like.
The most disturbing thing is that he may not tell you what’s going on in his life, because he doesn’t want you to worry about him.
That is why he will continue to answer you and will never lead you to doubt his happiness or his intentions.
He knows he can’t make you his priority (yet) until he has done anything he has to do and reset his list.
If you feel that this is the right explanation, just try to ask him what is going on, if there is anything he would like to share with you.
If he still refuses to talk to you, rest assured, everything is fine between you and he just needs a little time for him.
Don’t worry, it will get back to you in no time.
2. You like him, but so do the others
This second reason resembles the first except that there, his priorities are his potential friends and nothing else.
It happens that the guys classify their priorities according to the girls and the difficulty to conquer them.
And in their mind, if you play the inaccessible, it is that you must be a hell of a catch (when this is not necessarily the case).
If some of his potential friends do not write to him first, they will become his priority since if they do not write, it is because they are inaccessible and he will have to write to them first to conquer them.
Unconsciously, he will redouble his efforts for these and that is why, he will take you for granted.
He doesn’t write to you first, because he knows you’re going to write to him first and so he doesn’t bother with it all.
But that doesn’t mean you don’t like him.
You like him, but there are others who like him too and it will take him time to realize what he is doing and what he really wants.
3. Not sure how he feels about you
When a guy is unsure of his feelings for you, he withdraws, and withdrawing means that he needs time to digest his feelings and understand if he likes you or not.
Perhaps he has been harmed in the past and is now afraid of his feelings.
He does not want to open up to you because he is afraid that you will take advantage of him, as someone else may have done before.
That is why he tries not to write to you first because if he did, he would be more confused and embarrassed.
And when you write to him, he tries to ignore you and finally realizes that he can’t do it and that if he doesn’t answer you, he might ruin everything.
So, he decides to answer you and two minutes later, he finds himself facing his feelings for you.
It is a vicious cycle of confusion, unexpressed feelings and anticipation.
The best thing to do is to ask him directly what his intentions are or to ask him an ultimatum so that he can recover and answer you when he is ready.
4. He doesn’t like sms, but he likes you
I know it’s contradictory. How could he love me, but not like writing to me? but the truth is that many boys don’t like texting too much.
They only see it as a way to share basic information, arrange appointments, meetings or send emergency messages when the person cannot be called directly.
The first time I went out with a boy I liked, but who didn’t like texting, I completely panicked.
Always being the first to write to keep in touch was a nightmare.
And when I asked him the reasons, he simply replied that he did not like texting and that it had nothing to do with me.
He loved me and he liked spending time with me, but he couldn’t get over his sms “phobia”.
If he invokes this reason, know that it is a truth and that you must accept it.
If you try to force him to change, he will feel compelled to become someone he is not. Leave it alone and it will get better over time. I promise you.
5. He’s too busy to think about writing to you first
Maybe your guy is hard work and that’s the only thing, with what he has to do during the day that he can think of.
These guys really don’t have time to write, but if you really like them, they’ll always make sure to find some time to respond to you.
They don’t intentionally ‘ignore’ you. It is because of their work, their schedule or all their meetings.
This is why he will always answer you because he will appreciate your effort to write to him first, while feeling guilty for not being as multitasking as you.
When a boy does one thing, he is unable to think of other things before he finishes this first task.
If he is very involved in his work, it is likely that he will not write to you first, but will never hesitate to answer you once “relieved of his duty”.
6. He plays the inaccessible
Yeah. Some guys use this tactic, just to play it inaccessible.
He wants you to want it and make efforts to conquer it and that is why he deliberately avoids writing to you first.
But he never forgets to answer you.
He always makes sure to answer you and give you a little bit of him, so that you keep the desire to see more. Creepy, I know.
But this is how some men work. They want to lie down, while you do all the work and while waiting to reap the rewards of your hard work.
But the truth is, if he plays it inaccessible, you don’t like him that much. He is only interested in him.
In doing so, he tries to appease his egocentric self, while giving you the impression of being less important or of having less value than him.
Always be careful with men like that.
7. He doesn’t write to you first, because he knows you will write the first
When it comes to sms, there are men who are just lazy.
They don’t play it inaccessible, they have time to write to you, but they don’t, because they know that you will write first.
And they stick to it. They stick to their lazy fashion and let you do all the work.
Maybe you like him, maybe he’s crazy about you, but he won’t write to you first because he doesn’t even think about it.
He’s too busy waiting for you to do it and he thinks it’s the right thing to do.
He knows that whatever he does, you will always initiate the first contact and he is comfortable with the idea of doing nothing.
Try to ignore him a little and I’m sure he will realize that something is wrong with his behavior.
After all, it takes two to dance a tango!
8. He is afraid to commit
If he never writes to you first, but always responds to you with pleasure, it may be that he is afraid of getting involved.
When a guy is afraid to commit, he is not clear and often annoys you, for example by never writing to you first.
There are a thousand reasons why a boy is afraid to commit. Either because his emotions overwhelm him, or because he doesn’t want to lose his freedom, or because he finds that you are encroaching on his living space too much.
But now you are probably wondering: if that is the reason, why would he bother answering my messages?
This is because he is not sure that he is afraid to commit and that a part of him tells him that he should answer you and see how things are going.
The best thing to do is to let it reflect and weigh the pros and cons of a commitment to you.
The difficulties of getting involved are exhausting and you feel that whatever you do is never enough.
It is difficult to force him to engage by text or to force him to write to you first. It will only do so when it is ready and that is why, in the meantime, you should leave it alone.
9. He is afraid of not being good at writing SMS
When it comes to texting, not all boys are confident and direct.
Some of them are insecure, to the point of being anxious at the idea of having to write to you first.
That’s why they choose security and let you write to them first. Then they just answer you, hoping to have done their best.
In their minds, it is easier and safer to follow your intentions and the topics of conversation that you choose, rather than having to think about how you will feel if they write to you about something that does not interest you.
You will recognize this type of boy by his short answers and if his whole personality shouts at you that he is not good at texting.
And if you like him, he’ll have all the more pressure.
You should try to encourage him to open up to you and once he feels like he can tell you everything or ask for advice, he will calm down.
10. He wants to play it casual
Playing it casual and playing it inaccessible are two completely different things.
Playing it casual means he doesn’t want to feel compelled to write to you first or write to you when you expect it.
He wants to stay relaxed and not count the number of sms he writes you first or the number of sms you wrote him first.
Obviously, he is not involved in any relationship, but that does not necessarily mean that you do not like him.
Maybe you like him and he still plays it relaxed.
Maybe he has known other relationships with you and now wants to rest a bit, until he is tired of it.
He will always answer you, because apparently he wants to keep in touch with you, but he also wants you to know that he is not ready for something too serious.
He just wants to have a good time with you and if things get serious he could very well change his attitude and start writing to you first.
11. You don’t like him
Some guys are genuinely not interested in you, but they will still answer you out of politeness.
This reason is really annoying, because who would waste their time answering you if you do not interest them from the start?
If he only answers with ‘yes’ or ‘no’, or if he always has an excuse to refuse your invitations to the cinema, these are all similar clues.
These are clear signs that you don’t like him and that he only responds to you because he thinks it’s the most correct thing to do.
Obviously, he is not frank or at least, he is afraid of disappointing you. Either way, it is unfair to give you false hope.
Again, try to stop writing to him and see if things change. If this is not the case, you will be fixed this time.
It’s time to leave him alone and write to someone who will be more than happy to answer you or even write to you first!
12. He is introverted
If your guy is an introvert, chances are he won’t be able to write to you first for this reason.
Unlike extroverted people, introverted people find it difficult to open up to others and take initiative.
That’s why they stay on the reserve until someone knocks on their door or writes to them first.
It is difficult to blame someone who is introverted, since it has nothing to do with it. They live in a universe built on fear and the fear of being judged.
And the more you like them, the more they will be anxious. So they decide to wait until you write to them first, in order to relieve their anxiety.
And anxiety manifests itself even when they have to answer you, because they’re afraid of spoiling everything.
And they don’t want to spoil everything! They want you to understand their difficulty in opening up.
And if they send you strange answers, it is because they have focused too much on the difficulty of answering correctly.
In order to understand the real reason why he never writes to you first (but always replies to you when you write to him), you should also pay attention to his personality, his intentions, his past, his body language, etc. .
It may seem trivial, insignificant details, but trust me, all of these things will help you get an overview of the “don’t write first” concept.