I have always wondered why some women need to send these long texts to men. It seemed pointless to me.
Either they were ignored, or they received a very short and even more frustrating response. I was just wondering just before I sent one myself.
I do not know what happend to me. I sat down and started writing:
I’m not a wimp, you know, I wanted to tell you all this in person, but you really didn’t give me a choice. You left without any explanation and without farewell. Did I deserve you to treat me this way?
I can’t believe someone who is capable of having so many emotions can be so cruel at the same time. You knew it would break me.
Farewells are always difficult, but when everything remains vague and unexplained, it is even worse. I guess you never appreciated me enough to be able to treat me properly, not even at the end.
I know I was stupid for falling in love with you in the first place. I thought I saw something in you that no one else saw. Besides, I always think that there is good inside you. Just a pity that it did not come out.
I did my best to be understandable even when you behaved beyond all understanding. When you weren’t calling or answering text messages for days, when you didn’t have time for me, when you said hurtful things.
You didn’t even have to make excuses, I did it for you. I always created the best possible scenarios before thinking of the worst.
I think I was even too good. That’s why you took me for granted. You counted on the fact that I’ll be there for you, whatever you do. To listen, understand and support.
To wait. And now it seems to me that I spent my time waiting for the right moment, waiting for you to be ready, for you to start treating me better on all levels. And the sad truth is, if you hadn’t left me, I would still have been there waiting.
This is why I write this to you, to thank you for leaving as you did. If you hadn’t done it, I would still be waiting in vain. But in this way, you gave me the chance to see that I can stay alone. That I feel much better and more peaceful now that you are no longer in my life.
So thank you and goodbye forever.
I wrote it all with one breath and I felt like I was going to pass out after pressing the “send” button. I had no idea that I would send this text before I did it. It had never occurred to me before. It was just one of those moments when you do something silly and irrational.
However, I felt so relieved after I sent it! After writing all that overwhelmed me, my broken soul was finally relieved. I felt better having said all these things that were hidden inside. I felt like even the weight of my heart was lightened.
When I finally realized what I had done, I panicked a bit. I was wondering what he was going to think of me.
Was he going to believe that I was pitiful to have sent this? Would he think I wanted to get it back? And suddenly it hit me, I didn’t have to worry about what he or anyone thought of me.
I hadn’t done it to bring him back. I hadn’t done it out of hatred or out of love. I did not expect an answer, which by the way never came. I did this for myself. To complete this story. To tell him to God, what he did not have the courage to do.
