It all starts like a fairy tale. You meet, you fall in love. You feel the luckiest woman in the world. It gives you all the attention you can. He covers you with gifts, takes you to dinner, offers you flowers, he is a real prince charming. Who would refuse such attentions? No one and you either.
You wanted to believe in love and it presented itself as the one you had been waiting for your entire life.
Everything happened so quickly. He wanted to take it to the next level and almost forced you to do the same. He blinded you so much with love and care that you thought “that’s it”, the perfect man. You thought you had finally found the person to spend your entire life with.
You see, that’s how their little game works. That’s how they lure you into their trap. In reality, when you take away all the gifts and the trips you’ve made, you have nothing, except a narcissistic leech that empties you of everything.
When the first warning signals arose, you chose to ignore them. You were unable to admit that you fell in love with such meaningless lies and gestures. He used everything in his power to blind you.
So you trusted his stupid excuses. You chose to believe it because again, it was so compelling. At the time, his apologies made so much sense. But everything came back as it was before. For a while, he treated you like a queen, to make sure that you trusted him again and that he could continue his unhealthy little game.
This can go on for years, depending on your strength and determination. Depending on whether you are afraid of him or not. Depending on whether you have lost the will to fight and your self-esteem and respect.
Living in these conditions is something that no one should ever have to experience. Living under the merciless yoke of a narcissist can consume and destroy you entirely, but freeing yourself from it can give you a second chance to love someone else and receive the love you’ve always deserved.
If you are thinking of going out with a narcissist, be really careful and watch for the following warning signs:
1. They never apologize
They never apologize because they are sure they will never do anything wrong. They are terribly lacking in empathy towards the feelings of others. For example, if they arrive late, letting you hang around and without even warning you, they will not apologize because they consider themselves the most important thing in the world and if you have to wait for them, you do it. It is not their problem.
This can arise in many ways within your own relationship, from trivial things (like being late) to much more serious things. So pay attention to this serious alarm signal and react in time.
2. They are obsessed with perfection
They like to reflect the world as they see it – a perfect world. Since you are engaged in a relationship with them, they regard you as their reflection. So do not be surprised if a narcissist tries to make you change in any way, your behavior or your appearance for example. They will even try to control your thinking. They will try to impose their own definition of “good” perception on you.
They will try to push you to fight for something that they have imposed on you as being perfect. You will gradually lose your voice and your identity. You will end up becoming what they want you to be, not what you dreamed of becoming.
3. They are extremely charismatic
This is how they “catch you”. They can be very magnetic. They have huge energy that consumes you. Their energy and enthusiasm blind you. You end up seeing only what they want you to see. All of this happens from the start.
What they really want is to receive all the attention and be in the center of the scene, what comes next.
4. They make it all around them
No matter what direction a conversation takes, they will always find a way to guide it in the one that suits them. They know exactly how to get attention, what they love most.
It is in this sense that they seek validation from others and secretly ask to be flattered. They will even put you in situations where you will compliment them without you even realizing it.
5. They “tailor you to measure” in order to satisfy them
This is the sole objective of your relationship. It’s the only thing they want from you – that you comply with their wishes and needs. They will never do the same for you, for example by putting your needs before theirs. They won’t even notice if something goes wrong because they don’t care.
The only time you feel like they care about you is when they pretend, probably because they need something from you.
6. You can’t count on them
If something serious happens to you or if you find yourself in a situation where you need help, they will not offer it to you nor will they answer your calls for help. They probably have better things to do – take care of themselves.
If you know, deep in your heart that the person you are with will not come to help you when you need it or if you hesitate to ask because you already know the answer will be no, reconsider your relationship and ask yourself even, if the said relationship really exists.
7. They are the masters of manipulation
They will manipulate you so that you feel responsible for all the things that happen. They can’t do anything wrong because they are perfect and you are the one who needs to improve.
Also, this is related to your fear of giving up. By making you think that you are responsible for everything, they present themselves as being without defects. And if they are faultless, you could never leave them. It’s their logic. And even if you leave them, They’ll send you down in flames so as to pose as the innocent.
8. They lack empathy
Any feelings and thoughts that are not directly related to them do not interest them. So if you are injured, crying in your room for whatever reason – from the most insignificant to the most serious – they will not feel it. They may simulate interest and come to you, but they will quickly get tired and go because it does not affect them and is not related to them in any way.
9. They don’t stand criticism
It’s because they think they’re perfect. They do not support criticism even if it is positive, even if it is something you say to help them feel better. They will attack you from all sides because they will feel attacked.
Either they will criticize you in exchange and they will be very hurtful critics, or they will turn to something else, suggesting a whole new series of problems that you had probably left running. In doing so, their sole purpose will be to attack you.
10. They constantly send you contradictory signals
They plan with you and talk about your future together, but nothing ever happens. These are just empty words that they forget as soon as they are spoken. One day, they will make you feel special, the next, they will disappear, making you the last item on the list of their priorities.
They will make you experience an emotional roller coaster. Maybe you support it now but you can’t do it forever.