My husband was a sneaky, emotional b**stard – a real psychopath. He abused me physically, s**xually, and especially emotionally.
Just let me tell you one thing – words can really hurt! He knew it and he used it as a weapon.
When we separated, after 12 years of marriage. it hit me – a sudden realization, an accumulation if you will, of these 12 years of hell.
He surreptitiously introduced his psychotic character into my life, he abused me emotionally and I didn’t even notice him. I knew something was wrong, but I didn’t know what to say – at least not before we split up (and thank God for that).
These psychotic people have a special skill – you will not realize that you are being emotionally abused.
Learn to spot the clues from my experience and maybe you will be able to save yourself (like I finally did).
1. He makes you believe that you are responsible for everything
Emotional psychopaths are not always mean. They can charm you with their words until they have lured you into their net. They have the power to convince you and never tire of it.
One moment you are arguing and the other he says to you: “Everything is fine, honey. It is not your fault that you are emotional. You can’t help it. ”
You end up believing that you are solely responsible for the dispute and that he is the one who is there for you and who helps you to feel better.
2. He makes you undergo “gaslighting”
“Gaslighting” is a form of psychological abuse where false information is used to make the victim doubt himself or to make him pass for insane – the preferred tactic of those which make subject to emotional abuses.
I once came across emails that my husband accidentally left open, and discovered he was cheating on me. When I confronted him about it, he started yelling at me!
He said he couldn’t believe that I could think such a thing, that I was crazy and that I didn’t trust him … it lasted for several days.
Very quickly, I started to doubt myself. I started to think he might be right. Maybe I was crazy. Maybe I had misunderstood.
When your psychotic partner does not find an excuse, he will create one and he will make you pass for crazy.
3. He puts everything and anything on your back
It may sound similar to the first point, but it is not. Whenever he has a problem, he will find a way to blame you.
If he has problems at work, he’ll make you think it’s your fault because you stress him out at home.
If he fines for speeding, it will be your fault because you made him so angry that he needed to evacuate by driving too fast.
The bottom line is that, anyway, it will always be your fault because emotional psychopaths are always right.
4. He destroys you
Emotional psychopaths are weak people who have nothing better to do with their life than to control yourself. They feed you toxic thoughts to keep you from thinking that you are smart, beautiful and strong.
Their goal is to make you believe that you are stupid and useless, a goal that they will likely achieve. Once you start believing this bullshit, you hang on to it all the more because you are afraid it is the best thing you can have.
Emotional psychopaths can make you believe anything they want.
5. He makes you “disappear”
It simply isolates you from the rest of the world. He convinces you not to see your friends on the pretext that you don’t really need them since you have him.
And what is really behind this excuse is that he is afraid that your friends will make you understand reason and encourage you to leave him.
He spent too much time making you “perfect” to let your friends ruin everything.
He will convince you that he is the one who loves you the most and that he is the only one you should trust.
What a sneaky b**stard!