I just wanted my partner to make a place for me, to meet my emotional needs and my deepest sensibilities. So he could hug me when I really needed it. I wanted him to save a place for me so that I could cry and remind myself that I was safe, not with his words, but with the strength of his presence.
I wanted him to listen to me and notice the smallest details, to pay attention to me sometimes.
Often times when he came home at night he would see me cry while doing something mundane like doing laundry or cooking dinner. He couldn’t stand to see me in this state, because he had no idea how to handle it.
I just thought I was going completely nuts, but with space and perspective I took since we were no longer together, I realized that I was just a reflection of our relationship…
I sent back the pain we both felt. The pain I was carrying was not the only mine, it was also his.
So what do we do when we love and care for someone deeply, when we have started to build a life with our partner, to know that in the end, our relationship can never work?
We have to find the courage to leave the relationship.
And that’s what I had to do because my partner would never love me the way I deserved to be loved, or the way I wanted to.
He could never have understood what is going on in my head or be willing to go deep into my heart with me, which could seem like a scary place, including for me at times.
And at one point, long before me and before all of his other partners, he had set firm limits on how much love he could give to feel safe.
All I knew was that I needed to open up, to blossom, to spread my wings, and to evolve, I needed someone who gave me enough space to be able to. make.
There is probably nothing worse than feeling trapped in a hell you have created for yourself. We live in pain, but we feel like we have to stay and do whatever we can to make the relationship work.
But no expensive gift, dinner, or trip can make up for the fact that you never address the root cause of many relationship problems.
We need to ask ourselves the questions that sound frightening, but which are essential for our own well-being.
Here is a list of questions:
“Will he succeed in loving himself enough to love me as I deserve?” ”
“Will he do the necessary work on himself?” ”
“Have I really done the work I need to do on myself?” ”
“Can he really meet my emotional needs without being afraid, and accept me for who I am, without firing me in any way?” ”
“Is he conscious? ”
“Do we match each other spiritually and energetically? ”
If we have the courage to ask ourselves these questions, we must also be prepared to face the truth of the answers and have the courage to take the necessary action.
Our life on this Earth is limited.
This is our story, not someone else’s. And in reality, romantic love is a great illusion.
We are on Earth to authentically connect. We are destined for a deeper, more spiritual connection with others because we are all already energetically connected.
So we have to be honest with ourselves about what really matters to us. It’s also about finally bringing to light what no longer works for us and leaving it behind.
Do we stay with someone just because we are afraid of loneliness?
Do we lie to ourselves and tell ourselves we need to put more effort into making things work?
Or are we ready to find the courage to stay in our truth and start living what really matters to us?