When you’re still single, the prospect of married life often fills your eyes with thousands of stars. It’s easy to imagine how great life would be once we get our hands on this special being. Between regular romantic outings, s**x on demand, cuddles, the list goes on …
In many ways the life of a couple seems super interesting and it is an understatement to say it. But despite all the joys it can bring, life as a couple comes with its share of stress and problems. We don’t shout it from the rooftops of course, but many of these hazards can completely ruin what you have spent so much time and effort on. Especially since we tend to ignore certain issues when the age of the relationship is weighed. Ignoring a problem, however, will not make it go away.
It is true that behind every relationship problem lies a particular story. But within the multitude of conflicting situations that could arise, certain patterns are recurrent. We will therefore present you here some solution approaches to deal with it.
Communication
Of all the problems that many couples find themselves facing, the issue of communication most likely takes the first place. According to Expertex , it is this very one that is at the base of more serious complications that can even lead to rupture.
Most of the time, the problem of communication finds its origin in small gestures of everyday life which seem harmless on the surface. Dirty dishes left in the sink, undeveloped garbage cans … So many small shells that may annoy you without complaining to your spouse. You might expect him or her to realize this, and it annoys you all the more when it doesn’t.
Contrary to what one might think, couples are not really good at the art of communication . Most of the time people store these little shells somewhere in them, pretending to ignore them and with the hope that they will eventually disappear. Out of respect for the other, we avoid notifying him of the frustration that some of his actions cause us. In other cases, we immediately assume that the other is perfectly aware of our emotions when they ignore everything.
There aren’t 36 solutions, sitting down and discussing it quietly is the best option. Avoid, however, framing the discussion on the background of an inquisition, your partner may turn upside down. Be tactful and calmly explain your feelings. This will save your couple a lot of problems.
The dispute
The rare times we do manage to communicate, or at least try to do so, it does not always result in a productive discussion. In fact, many couples end up resorting to yelling, quarrels and insults to try and make themselves understood.
This is a natural overflow testifying to the low level of communication in relationships. The causes are as diverse as they are varied. But when that happens, we fight. And it is seldom done in a useful or fair way. Instead, we speak recklessly, aggressively, and in an off-putting tone. Our spouse who is confronted with it opposes a resistance of more or less the same intensity; and off we go for an infernal spiral of verbal jousting. We lose all control and our words get very raw. Most of the hurtful things that come out of our mouth at this time are basically meant to make the other person feel how much we are in pain. Unfortunately, the only thing we manage to do is make the situation even worse. A misplaced word and it is a broken heart that will need to be healed.
Instead of reacting hot, it’s best to try to come back to the subject once your emotions have calmed down. If, as a couple, you don’t address the issue at the root of the conflict, it may come up again in another argument. And there it will be one more problem to add to the list. It may also continue over and over again until one or both partners are unable to cope.
So learn to humbly acknowledge your mistakes and accept the fact that your partner is not infallible. It is a mark of greatness of mind which will make you rise even more in the esteem of your spouse.
Maintain contact
In the first few hours of a relationship, we usually want to spend every moment with our other half. Whether it’s a dinner on Wednesday, a chill out night on Thursday, or an impromptu weekend trip, no work deadline or family commitment is too important to stop us.
After a few years, however, the excitement wanes, giving way to a monotonous coexistence. Over time and communication problems we end up turning away from that loved one. We don’t feel like communicating because it usually ends badly and it becomes easier to focus on everything but the other. But this is the recipe for disaster …
The slow, continuous emotional, physical and intellectual disconnection is something that happens to couples more often than we realize. But this is not inevitable, far from it. You just have to keep dedicating special occasions to each other. You may not spend as much time together as you did at the beginning, but it will be enough to maintain the love that unites you.