Help! I’m afraid to fall in love

What’s your biggest fear? The giant spiders? The snakes ? Closed places? Dizziness ? For me none of this scares me. What scares me most of all is falling in love.

WHEN I SEE THE TEARS IN THEIR EYES I’M AFRAID

It’s “funny” to think that I trust a rubber band hanging from a bridge when I bungee jumping or the pilot of an airplane when I go on vacation. And yet I’m afraid to give my heart to a man who says he loves me. This is quite contradictory since it is surely better to be heartbroken for a few months because of a rupture rather than being crushed on the ground because of a loose elastic.

Here is a story.” One day, during a romantic evening and when we were getting ready to go to bed, my boyfriend told me these 3 words: “ I love you “. From that moment everything changed. It’s like dropping a bomb in our romantic relationship. Rather than making me happy these three words terrified me as if I was about to receive the death penalty. He could have told me that I only had 12 hours to live, my reaction and my fear would have been the same.”

The most terrifying thing about falling in love is the uncertainty. When we take the plane, on the contrary, we know that everything is going well, we see the other passengers coming out of the plane alive and smiling. With love, every month I see couples who separate after more or less long relationships. And when I see the tears in their eyes, I’m scared.

THE TRUTH IS WE CAN’T PREDICT THE FUTURE

You can never know when your romantic relationship is going to end. You can be the happiest and most in love and in 30 seconds everything can be ruined. You find your boyfriend with another woman under the sheets. “Oh you should buy glasses if you thought it was me who was under the sheets right now”…

The truth is, you can’t predict the future. Anything can happen all at once. Of course, he can cheat on you with your best friend. But in a moment of bewilderment maybe it’s me who would cheat on him. We are both human.

But even if I stay true to it, maybe I’ll get my dream job in China and he won’t be able to follow me. Or maybe my parents will fall ill and I will have to go back and live with them several hundred kilometers away. Maybe he’ll get hit by a bus, even though he’s on a zebra crossing, or maybe a Walking Dead zombie will catch us. In short, all of these situations are just as likely to happen and to put spikes in the wheels of our relationship.

TODAY I DECIDED TO FIGHT MY FEAR

In short, you have understood what prevents me from falling in love is the fear of rupture, separation, rejection. Except today I decided to fight my fear. I’m sick of being paralyzed by the thought of a guy telling me “I love you”. I’m tired of being alone at night in my bed. And I realize one thing: You only live once and I miss a lot of happiness. A life of stress alone is not good. I need to open up new horizons, trust love and above all focus on having fun as a couple rather than focusing on my fear of divorce. Even if I didn’t succeed the first time I would get over it and only be stronger. I would at least know what true reciprocal love is and that’s already great!

When a man says “I love you” to you, it’s like he’s standing on the other side of a wall and reaching out to help you reach him. I have no idea what’s behind this wall. Maybe it is hell, but maybe it is also immense happiness. And the only way to find out is to give him your hand, say “I love you too” and explore what’s behind the wall with him.

He smiles at my answer and rather than fear the love, I throw myself into his arms and decide to enjoy every second of our romantic relationship.

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