As time passes, the love of your life may change.
Time, individual development, knowing the other better are factors that change the relationship and also influence the way in which your relationship with the love of your life develops.
Changes do not always and at all times lead to an evolution of the couple and usually end in a break.
Loving separations are always and at all times difficult
Especially for the one who fell in love and did not make up his mind to finish. It is hard to get over an unexpected breakup and the suffering from that separation can seem unbeatable. But it is not.
There are many ways to get over it and move on after that relationship.
If you are in that situation, or you have someone close to you going through a painful break, in this blog post we will discuss certain ways to endure the separation to start your life again, without a partner.
What is love?
Unraveling love as a feeling is a complete mystery, we know that we fall in love because our mind and body emit signals to alert us to it. There are a series of chemical reactions in our brain that cause this effect and our body tests the feeling through sensations, but there is no clear explanation about what it is and its nature.
Philosophers, artists, and psychologists argue in many ways about what precisely love is and why it alters our lives.
What happens as love matures?
Mental maturity, the phase of life in which the members of the couple are (whether jointly or individually), can advance love or lead to a breakdown in the relationship.
For example, it is easy to interpret that you are in love by the fact that a kind of pleasant obsession with the other person springs up. In the first phase of relationships, the two want to spend as much time together as possible, they share their tastes and also interests and every moment is a novelty.
However, after a while, love stabilizes. There is no longer so much obsession with one another, they resume their individual routines and learn to spend time apart as they have greater security from each other.
Couples who manage to get emotionally involved in a stable and authentic way are those who understand that initial -obsessive- love is overcome to make way for the period of coexistence, where there is perhaps less effusive treatment, but with considerably more trust, respect, and also intimidate each other.
On the other hand, couples who fail to thrive together finally break down, even though there is love in between. The feeling must evolve in the same way that the couple thrives, otherwise, they fail.
Why do certain couples fail?
There are many reasons for a relationship to end. The routine, infidelities, lies, or boredom are true. When one of the members of the couple does not know how to handle changes in love and the way the relationship is conceived, they may feel cheated and belittled by the other.
If the daily routine, the economic inconveniences, or the arrival of the children affect the relationship and they do not know how to handle it, it will be quite difficult to understand the changes and adapt the couple to the new situations that life takes us to.
Conceiving love in a different way is what usually results in divorces.
What are the alternative options in the face of changes in love?
In certain cases, the couple accepts that love is missing and that they lost the spark of the relationship, but they decide to stay together out of habit, out of fear of change or because they may hope to return to find that “something” that made them fall in love and join as a couple.
But besides this, there is another painful way to lose a partner and it does not necessarily imply a lack of love. We mean death. It has been determined that the pain of the death of a couple can be so horrible that the person never recovers psychologically, especially in cases of sudden and unexpected deaths.
Grief is really difficult to overcome in each and every one of the cases, but in the case of a person with whom we have shared life, it is very hard to understand the situation. It takes a lot of resolve and support to move forward despite this loss.
How to move forward when the love of your life has been lost?
The loss of love should be taken as a mix between challenge and occasion. It must be understood as a challenge that is posed to you as a person, so as not to let yourself fall because of the pain, but in unison as a new opportunity to resume the bridles of your life and dare to seek love in other people, to live new experiences.
Although it can be overwhelming at first, the person you should love the most is the one you will have to put up with and care for for the rest of your life: yourself.
Whether you experience the end of your love in your twenties or seventies, you will have to deal with the grief resulting from the intense feeling that came to an end. The best way is to focus on yourself, look for the learning that that relationship left you, take some time to heal, and learn what you want in a person or life partner.
Over time, like everything in life, wounds heal, people get stronger and occasionally you will achieve the enthusiasm you need to return to fall in love or enjoy life with someone else.
How does a reciprocated love work?
Some ethnic groups and religions have defined words to distinguish merciful love, which is that which is felt by each and every one of the people around us, from romantic love, exclusive to the couple.
A full love for the sentimental partner is the one that is born in a passionate, romantic, and crazy way, but that after time it strengthens and becomes merciful love. In this phase of love, you love, respect, value, excuse yourself. We also care about the happiness of the partner.
This kind of love is exactly the same as that experienced by children, parents, siblings, and anyone we care about.
Falling in love is there, only it does not take away our happiness because it is understood that the other person continues to love us more in a different way. It is a different way of conceiving love, related to interest in the other, but without feeling possession or dominance.
What personal aspects should be taken care of after a break?
When a relationship fails, the two members of the couple are responsible in some way. Regardless of the causes, the 2 had a part in that couple and hence it is essential that each of the review and learn from their actions to prosper in the future.
In principle, the ego is the primary personal aspect to work on after separation. It is essential to learn to deal with situations in a healthier way, without accepting them as an outrage and without getting discouraged for having made a mistake. Failure is a part of life and you shouldn’t be afraid of failing.
On the other hand, you must also work on self-esteem and self-esteem. You must love yourself in order for others to love you as you deserve. Likewise, you must work on respect for yourself and the rest, on the interest for the other and you must work to be an independent person who does not need another to be happy.
If you thrive and feed as a person, you will occasionally achieve a love that is continually blooming and renewing itself. Even if the marriage has already stopped marching and they separated a while ago, admitting that the other is not responsible for our misery is very advantageous to overcome hatred and move firmly to rediscover and thrive as humans.
What should you do?
The love of life is a term with which the couple is generally identified. In novels, movies and series, much relevance is given to that romantic love, but the authentic love that must be nurtured is its own, due to the fact that only from your self-esteem you will be able to locate people who value and respect you as you deserve it.
You are an individual person and capable of being happy for you, you cannot give your hopes and joy only to that person who decided to separate, you cannot close yourself to life just because of a break. Each relationship that ends is just one more chapter in the life that you had to go through and that helps you learn.
Only by loving yourself will you be able to love someone else and until the moment you do not understand it, you will feel a lot of pain with each separation.