We’ve all had our fair share of good and bad relationships, both of these two guys taught us some bitter realities about people and the world we live in. We are truly a product of the events we have been through and the circumstances we have endured. We’ve all had our fair share of good and bad relationships, both of these two guys taught us some bitter realities about people and the world we live in. We are truly a product of the events we have been through and the circumstances we have endured.
This is particularly true for dating. A bad experience, a bad choice of partner and a date gone wrong, a single misfortune can make you lose half your mind and make you question your sanity to the point that you start to wallow in a deep well of self-loathing or simply turn increasingly cynical with the people around us to the point that forming and maintaining healthy relationships becomes difficult, if not impossible.
Men are marginalized when it comes to talking about their love lives, especially if they have had a bit of bad luck. Men’s tendency to disguise their emotions makes it difficult for their partners and even therapists to actually come to a conclusion about their coping mechanisms and approaching relationships after an unpleasant breakup.
But, one thing’s for sure, men are prone to developing an unbreakable bond of insecurity depending on how unpleasant their experience has been with someone they’ve been with, even if it’s just for one night! This is strongly opposed to the prevailing idea where the opposite gender assumes that men don’t take the hit after a bad relationship.
Types of insecure men
1. Insecure multiple break man
These men have a hard time accepting that there is someone out there for them, due to their many experiences that have failed miserably. No matter what the reason for their breakup is, they can’t seem to make their partners stay and it’s not just one party. Lack of compatibility, improper expectations, and growing insecurity with each loss are some of the factors that lead to a chaotic love life.
2. After the divorce, the insecure man
Many of these men took a bold step, one they never imagined taking, for someone they thought completed them. It turns out that the period in which you are dating is much more different than settling down with all the responsibilities and finally starting a family. Sometimes their partners end up losing interest in them in the long run and choose to go their own way, sometimes with different people. These men have very stubborn confidence issues that need to be eliminated as soon as possible.
3. After cheating on an insecure man
One of the first thoughts that linger until proven otherwise for men who have been cheated on is that they are not good enough and will probably never be happy forever. They go very deep into themselves to pick up all the specks of dirt that are inside of them and they begin to look at themselves with a very polluted lens of not being suitable and they cling to the belief that they are always in a competition to be. better for someone. and also against someone. This mindset is the reason why they often end up in a state of deep depression and anger.
10 tips to make dating work for an insecure man
For the insecure man of multiple breakups
1. Start with the belief that sometimes you are not supposed to end up with someone because they are simply making stops on their way to their actual destination, which is so much better and is also worth all the efforts. You need to learn a lesson as you are on your way to meet the real love of your life. Appreciate the experience of meeting new people, dating, and falling in love all over again instead of counting all your losses.
2. You should take a step back and before you start meeting someone new, make sure you don’t blur the lines between friendship and love. Not everyone you see, who acts kindly to you and shows you some kind of affection, is the one. This could be just one part of your personality, learn to discern.
3. Don’t bring up all the failures of your past relationships in front of someone you just met. Some things are better left unsaid and not brought to light, as they might irritate the other newer and better person, giving the impression that you care too much about the past.
After divorce Insecure man
4. Give up cynicism and learn to enjoy the pleasure of meeting someone new after a period as rough as a divorce. Not everyone you meet wants to hurt or disappoint you.
5. It is OK to talk about your divorce, but it is never OK to do all the talking about your ex and the circumstances that led to it. Your date should be your focus, not your ruined marriage.
6. Be open about your love life with your children, if you have any, giving them the idea that you are ready to move on with your life so that every time you see someone, you don’t have to worry about how your family might receive them.
7. Remember, marriage is something you can always go through again. Don’t remove marriage from the list or write someone off because you stopped believing in high school, especially when your new partner is looking for something more serious. Otherwise, strong friction could arise between the two of you due to your insecurity.
After cheating on an insecure man
8. Trust yourself and your charisma, you owe yourself an appointment to meet new people and have a happy relationship. There is nothing wrong with you, it was just a bad relationship and it is over now, it is time to explore new horizons.
9. Nobody wants to hurt you and not everyone thinks you are a benchmark. You don’t need to be too curious about your friends and ex. As stated above, no two people are the same. The person you are dating might be the one for you. Don’t end up hurting them expecting them to put you through the same nightmare as your ex.
10. Celebrate and don’t let anger get the best of you. Cheated on men tend to be overly possessive and easily agitated when they notice that their partner is simply doing a task that divides their attention. Give your date space and let them be themselves. There is no point in projecting your story onto someone you have just started to watch.
conclusion
Not all fingers are the same and no two people are the same. Also, having been in a toxic relationship should never be seen as a pretext for finding fault with yourself. As a man, you need to understand that you do not have complete control over your partner, and at the end of the day, it is your own people who make the decisions that they think are in their best interest. You can never control how they feel about you and you certainly cannot reciprocate all the good you have done for them in the name of love.
Going to therapy, joining support groups, and adopting a healthier lifestyle are some of the secondary things you can consider to cleanse yourself of all the hatred that might have built up inside you from an outdated relationship or marriage. Meeting new people should always be on the list, that’s how you grow and also find someone who deserves the kindness in you. Once you are able to forgive yourself, stop the pity party, and realize that you are worth all the good things in the world, you can return to the dating game with rejuvenated confidence that is sure to have a more positive impact on how. things go and make you appreciate the happiness of being in love once again.