Flirting or friendly?
Is he interested in you or just wants to be friends? Sometimes it seems like you need a Ph.D. to understand why men behave the way they do and if someone special in particular likes you or if they only like you as a friend. We’ve all been there, and it can really be an extremely frustrating place, so let’s try to analyze a few key signs that can help you determine if you are struggling to come clean with your feelings or if it is “just not that into you.”
Men are often not given credit for being complex at being themselves, and for good reason, but it’s important to understand that men have different shades of emotional intelligence, coming in all shapes and sizes. What may indicate attraction in a guy’s personality type may simply be platonic kindness to another. So, take the following tips with a pinch of salt. Some men are more comfortable expressing their feelings, but most are not, so women often wonder if their love interest corresponds to their affections or if “everything is in their heads.” Of course, men being cryptic and sending mixed signals don’t help either.
5 signs a guy is interested in you
1. He wants to know more about you
Some men listen better than others, but when someone likes you beyond mere friendship, they become very interested in your stories and everything you contribute to the conversation. If you notice your ears perk when you start speaking in a group and press for more details, you can be sure that he is interested in you. Frequent eye contact during a conversation and serious listening are signs of romantic affinity. Of course, some male friends are good listeners too, but most of the time, men go the extra mile to develop deeper emotional connections and get to know you beyond the surface level.
2. He remembers details
Active listening is exhausting in excess and, for most people, reserved for conversations that we consider meaningful and important. A key characteristic of active listening is best remembered, so if he remembers something you said to him a long time ago or mentions things you mentioned in the past, he is trying to “show” that he cares about you. This is a very strong sign that someone values you deeply. It means that he treats you differently and puts you in a completely different category than his friends, which is a sure sign of romantic feelings.
3. You make him nervous
In general, people we like make us nervous. We want to present the best of ourselves to you and this puts a lot of pressure on us. Men also feel pressure to perform in the presence of people they are attracted to. If he’s feeling a bit shy, awkward, fidgety, or uncomfortable around you, he’s probably in love with you, but it’s definitely not a one-to-one correlation; look for other signs. If he gets nervous and rambles on topics or becomes very restless and looks in your direction for approval, while making a joke, this is usually a sign that he finds you attractive and seeks your approval.
4. He flirts with you
Some men are flirtatious by nature – this advice doesn’t work for them, but if you find a man who teases you in a playful but also respectful way, it means they are potentially interested and testing the waters. Men are more insecure than we give them sympathy; very few men will be comfortable admitting their feelings without testing the waters. These could be playful and suggestive comments. Body language is an indicator; If he tries to look at you, smiles at you a lot, and makes eye contact, you’re in luck. You may even lean too close while talking.
5. He goes out of his way for you
Men express themselves with their actions more than words and those who are interested in you will find excuses to be close to you and “take care” of you at any opportunity they get. He is interested if he offers to help you do the things you casually mention. A man who always wants to help you, wants you to trust him. He is investing his time and energy in you because he wants to be someone you can reach out to a lot. Many times this also means that you can hang out one on one, so those opportunities are big wins for him.
5 signs a guy is just friendly
6. Usually hangs out in groups
If you start a solo meeting and he does a group outing, chances are he just wants to be friends. Men will want to have time alone with women they consider “girlfriend material,” so if you turn down an offer and suggest hanging out in a group, you are just a friend and he wants to gently decline you. They may still enjoy your company as a friend, but they don’t want it to be more than that. Take the hint and move on sister!
7. He talks to you about other girls
Men who like you won’t keep talking about their ex or complimenting other girls in your company. Men who can’t stop talking about their ex haven’t gotten over them, and that’s a red flag in itself, but men who consider you more than a friend will resist getting into an old relationship drama with you. If you blatantly look at other women in front of you, she won’t want to be more than your friend. It is a difficult truth to digest when you are in love with someone, but if he has a blank stare and it is difficult for him to concentrate on what you are saying, he is not interested.
8. Treats you like one of the boys
Pay attention to how he treats you in relation to his siblings. As sad as it can be to admit that if you secretly fall in love with a friend, you really are only friends if they treat you like one of the boys. Burping, farting, high-fives, and making no effort to make interactions with you different from guys mean he’s not interested. This can be a particularly difficult role to tear – it’s hard to get a man to find you attractive if they don’t even realize you’re a girl! Invest your energies elsewhere, girl!
9. Does not return compliments
A good way to test the waters and see if you are in the friend zone is to congratulate him; If he is interested in you, positive reciprocity will manifest. People who like you are waiting for a socially empowered opportunity to congratulate you, and returning compliments is a perfect way to do it. So if he doesn’t take the opportunity, he just doesn’t like you that much. A simple thank you is just that he is courteous and definitely does not consider you “girlfriend material.” Men who are attracted to you want to congratulate you on any chance they can, that’s the fact.
10. He is always “busy”
We all lead busy lives, but we take time for the things that matter to us. Being busy all the time is an easy excuse to get out of social obligations that are not important to you. If the guy you’re interested in is always too busy to hang out, it’s a good sign that he doesn’t want a relationship with you. If he is never free to spend time with you, he is most likely trying to gently reject you and you have been “classified as a friend.”
Test to do a basic check of the attraction level
Q1. How often do you call or text and how long does it take to respond to you?
Men who want to be with you will send you a lot of text messages and it won’t take centuries to respond. If you’re experiencing long periods of radio silence and you find yourself leading the conversation, he just doesn’t like you that much.
Q2. What kind of conversations do you have?
Is your time together or texting filled with flowing, meaningful conversations and/or flirtatious jokes, or are your conversations dry, forced, and punctuated? The former means that there is potential. The latter means it’s time to find someone else!
Q3. Does he talk about other women in front of you?
This is big. Do not overlook this. If you are talking about other women, you are not interested. Move on! Don’t make excuses for it. No man talks about other women in front of a woman they want to be with.
Q4. Is he too comfortable with you?
Men are overly comfortable with partners they have been with for a long time, but not with potential love interests. If he’s too comfortable and doesn’t treat you differently from his siblings, you’re in the friend zone.
Q5. Does he correspond to physical contact?
Men who like you can’t keep their hands to themselves. Distant responses to light touch are a sign that he doesn’t want to be with you. Move sister! There are so many fishes in the sea.