How to overcome a relationship crisis without breaking up your marriage or relationship

Relationships always go through adversity that can certainly be difficult to overcome. They may not know how to do it, they get desperate and often wonder how to overcome a relationship crisis and recover from the marriage they had. 

This may not be easy, nor may it be a light decision, however, these situations may be the opportunity to mature together and take them to a new stage in the relationship.

First of all, it is important to identify if the couple’s problem can be saved, or if, on the contrary, it requires a total break. You also have to take into account if the two of you are willing to fight for it. Since if there is no solution, it is best to accept it and continue.

If you need to identify how to save your marriage or overcome a couple of crisis,  it will be important that you pay attention to each guideline that we leave you below.

How to identify if the relationship with my partner is cold or worn out

Identify when a relationship has worn out:

  • It has become a routine and habit.
  • Your relationship bores you.
  • The excitement is gone between you.
  • They have become more discussions than passive conversations.
  • Other things are more interesting than spending time together.
  • There is no more intimacy as a couple.

How to solve my relationship problems in a mature way

Be consistent and don’t try to win every argument.

Certainly, the idea is not always right, so it is often necessary to look at the situation from another perspective to identify the mistakes that each one is making.

It is well known that a relationship is about a team and, therefore, the responsibility of caring for its well-being goes to both parties. So assuming that sometimes we are wrong during an argument is healthy and the best option to calm the environment.

The problems of the past treat them honestly

No one owns the actions of other people, and less so within a relationship. Something fundamental that you must do if you want to overcome a couple of crisis is to leave the past behind.

It’s no use wanting to bring him back! This will only intensify old dislikes that can no longer be compensated, managing to increase the tension between the two and making communication and intimacy difficult.

Likewise, leaving external problems out of your relationship, it does not bring anything good to unload the frustrations of work with your partner; which is very different from seeking their support and opinion. It is important not to allow foreign situations to settle between the two and distance them without a valid reason.

If you have mistakes, admit them!

Making mistakes is natural and no one can deny that, however, we know that the difficult thing is to face them and recognize that we really make them.

The important thing here is that if what you want is to solve the problems with your partner, you need to start with the problems that you have been dragging with you, do a self-analysis of the faults that harm your life as a couple, and accept it in order to move forward.

Time flies, don’t let it go

That is why you should take advantage of every second next to the person you chose one day to share your life and your happiness. Well, part of what it means to have a healthy and mature relationship is to put aside pride and not procrastinate on crises that are still in time to be resolved.

It is best to attack the problem as soon as it is noticeable and make a mutual commitment to change things for the better.

If more problems arise, go to couples therapy

Sometimes the answers refuse to come alone and as much as you try to find them on your own, it is much more mature to accept that they cannot and get professional support, trained to guide them and help them to listen and understand each other again…

Communication is one of the most important things

And the most sincere sign of wanting to overcome a relationship crisis from maturity, despite how sensitive and intimidating it may be to expose your concerns and feelings.

It’s completely understandable if the words don’t come out at first. Just remember that they should get out before it’s too late.

Keep that conversation on track now and talk honestly about what’s going on with both of you.

If problems are not cleared up, they accumulate

Almost scientifically proven, what is not said on time ends up getting stuck in us, and nothing worse for a relationship than accumulating problems one after another.

The safest thing is that they will explode sooner or later and when they do it will not be in the best way or at the right time.

So what should I do if my relationship is in crisis?

To recover love in a couple or recover a relationship in crisis, you always have to take action on the matter. More than talking and saying what is going to be changed, the important thing is that it has to be done. Well, in the end, that is what is worth and makes repair or save a damaged relationship.

Steps to rebuild a relationship and save a marriage in crisis

– Want to resolve the matter. To initiate any change it is important to have the enthusiasm of wanting to do it. At least one reason why they want to save this relationship in crisis. And as mentioned above it is important that both of you have this motivation.

– Identify what the problem is. Describe the issue together with your partner. Look at your weaknesses and how this is affecting you. Take into account even the smallest to solve it. This way it won’t get much more serious.

– Talk openly about the matter. Be honest with each other always with great humility and patience. Listen to each other without interrupting or preempting. It is important to rescue effective communication between the two since it will increase trust and respect in the couple.

– Propose the solution to the problem. Once you have determined the issue, it is time to analyze how you will attack it to eliminate it completely and avoid finding yourself in a similar situation. The basis here is the commitment of both parties to their actions.

– Set clear goals and objectives. Give each other new things to do or achieve as a couple. Since the conflict could be caused by a lack of goals as a couple, causing a repetitive and boring routine. So get out of this.

– Reflect, forgive and respect each other. Reinforcing these values will help heal and recover a worn relationship.

– Comply with your change and motivate yourselves with humility. Work on bringing about the agreed change and show that you are doing it to save your damaged relationship. Help each other and don’t criticize if someone fell short in some minor aspect.

– Regain your intimacy as a couple. Do something different than usual and have fun with it. There are many ways to rekindle that passion between you. And not only with this but also with small gestures of love during the day. Fall in love like at the beginning but with new ideas.

– Surprise your partner with small details and gestures of love. Help each other at home or shopping and that work is always balanced between the two.

Is it advisable to attend couples therapy?

As we mentioned before, to save a worn relationship, it is highly recommended to go to couples therapy. Since this will help them know how to solve and act in the face of this situation or problem. Thanks to the fact that they will have a very professional and objective opinion about it.

Going to therapy with your partner is having an expert person who will seek together with you to resolve the personal conflicts that you may have separate and then address the situation and the impact that these conflicts are having on the couple or marriage.

However, remember that each couple is totally unique. Therefore, to attend couples therapy, you must take into account that: both must be willing to receive this help and open to listening to the advice you have to give them.

They should choose a type of therapy that suits their needs. And of course, knowing the type of skill that the therapist has. All of the above in order to guarantee the success of each session and find a solution for your relationship in crisis.

How long does a couple of crisis last?

There really is no specific duration for a couple of crisis, since these are circumstances to which not everyone reacts in the same way. What for you and your partner may be something insignificant, for others it could be decisive to continue or not with the relationship. 

However, many times when we find ourselves in a crisis in our relationship, the first thought is to let it pass alone; On the one hand, this could be seen as a way of not making the problem bigger, but in the long run, what it will cause is a series of grudges and pride, both of which are harmful to any relationship. 

At the same time, it is important to be able to discern when a crisis has a solution and when it does not. Well, it also happens that we cling so much to trying to solve a problem that when we realize it we are in a relationship out of pure comfort and habit. Without anything that excites or motivates them and, of course, without a real emotional commitment.

Remember: do not save a relationship that is toxic or abusive.

The stability of your relationship must be built from love, respect, and effective communication between the two, putting yourself in the other’s shoes, choosing compression before outbursts, and maintaining a balance between what you can give and what you expect to receive is the recipe to maintain a happy marriage and avoid marital crises.