“He shows interest and then disappears. It’s always like this, just when I thought I’d found the right man, he disappears. And now?”
If you are reading this text right now, then I can safely assure you that you are experiencing a problem like this. A man you really liked came into your life and now out of nowhere he’s disappeared like a ghost.
The truth is that it hurts, and it hurts even more if you thought of him as the guy you wanted to build a serious relationship with, right?
But don’t worry, because in this article I’m going to show you the exact reasons and reasons a man can have for this, let’s go!
Why does a man shows interest and then disappears?
This can happen for several reasons.
But, usually, this happens because he wasn’t sure of his feelings and didn’t want to give you false hope.
So why is he going to keep calling and texting you, and looking to see you?
Here are some of the reasons he showed interest and disappeared:
– he got excited, but then he saw that he didn’t have as much chemistry
– he thought you wanted something serious, but he didn’t
– he may have met someone else
– or got back together with an ex
– or because he just wanted to win you and, after he succeeded, he disappeared…
Anyway, the reasons why he shows interest and then disappears can be as varied as possible, but these are some of the most common.
When the man disappears after he had a date with you, for example, it’s because he didn’t have the affinity or attraction he expected.
When he calls you and then disappears, it’s because he found something better to do.
The important thing is not to think that the problem is you. If it worked for him, don’t beat yourself up over it. Follow your life!
10 possible reasons for this to happen
Understanding men can be one of the hardest things you as a woman have to do. Even though they are usually straightforward and show their feelings through actions, sometimes you need a little extra time to get to the bottom of their behavior.
So he went after you and then disappeared. I’m sure you’ve wondered how the hell this happened. And what is the real meaning behind this dirty movement?
I think that’s exactly how you’re feeling right now. You want to know why he did this to you and why he never bothered to let you know what was going on.
He could easily have said he doesn’t like you anymore and wants to break up. Instead, he chose to make a mess of his life, disappearing into thin air without a word.
Well, here’s why he’s gone and you’re going through terrible heartbreak because of it.
1. He was too busy with something
One of the reasons he shows interest in you and then disappears is because he might be too busy for a relationship at the time.
Maybe he really was a special man, but he had too many things going on at once. He was so focused on every other aspect of his life that he didn’t have the energy for his love life.
For example, putting his work in the background didn’t seem like the right option, so he had to make a choice. He had to choose between you or his career, and at the time, he didn’t think choosing you was the right decision.
That’s why he disappeared from her life without explanation, as he just wasn’t ready to face a relationship. The whole thing was more than he could handle and he had to leave.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to justify his behavior as it’s obvious he could have done things differently. He could have been honest with you. But obviously, he didn’t want to bother with explanations and just disappeared.
Even if he stayed, he would probably at some point regret putting you in front of his career and future. And you don’t want to be in a relationship with a guy who blames you for the choices he made.
2. He wasn’t ready for a serious relationship
Some men disappear even after chasing after you because they realize they’re not ready for a serious relationship. And your guy could be one of them.
He may have realized that putting all his energy into building a strong relationship wasn’t something he wanted to do at the time. He didn’t feel it was the right step to take.
In this case, he preferred to stay away from you as he realized he wasn’t looking for anything serious.
You will probably say to yourself, “But he went after me and then disappeared. Why would he try something with me if he knew he wasn’t ready for a relationship?
Well, if he realized too late that he wasn’t looking for a partner, then that might be why he went after you in the first place.
At first, he liked you and thought he should try his luck with you. But later on, he realized he wasn’t ready for anything but fun, let alone a serious, committed relationship.
Maybe he needed some alone time to figure out what he wanted out of life and that’s why he chose to leave.
3. He was already dating someone else
While you were slowly falling in love with him, he was already dating other women. You might have no idea that you weren’t the only one he was seeing.
I know you still think he’s a good man and is trying to find an explanation for his behavior, but you should be honest with yourself. Was there a red flag that you kept ignoring because you didn’t want to admit to yourself that he was just playing with your emotions?
Did he answer your phone calls only when it was convenient for him? Did you only meet when he wanted to? And did he keep all the dating apps on his phone even after you officially started dating?
These are some of the signs that show you weren’t the only woman in his life. As horrible as it is to think about the possibility, there were probably many more of them.
He could be dating someone else while he was in a relationship with you, and in that case, he’s better off gone from your life. At least you know he saved himself from a player.
4. He didn’t feel like the man you were looking for
Maybe he went after you and disappeared because he felt you weren’t looking for a guy like him. He showed you all his best cards and you didn’t let him see that you were interested in him.
At this point, he felt like there was no compatibility between the two of you. He thought he wasn’t the one you were looking for, so he did what he needed to do to save himself from the pain.
While he was falling in love with you, he was under the impression that you didn’t feel the same way. So he chose to leave without any explanation.
He assumed you wouldn’t even care that he was gone and that’s why he didn’t bother trying to tell you the truth. He was afraid of brutal rejection and wanted to save himself from it.
I’m sorry to say this, but maybe you haven’t shown him that you like him too. He waited for a sign and when he got nothing he just disappeared as he thought a breakup was already on the horizon.
5. He just got out of a relationship
Often, guys disappear as soon as they leave a relationship. They start dating again only to realize they aren’t ready for it yet.
So if you know that your boyfriend has just gone through a heartbreak then that could be the reason he went after you and then disappeared.
At first, he wanted to give himself a chance to move on from his ex. He wanted to let go of the pain of his failed relationship and dating seemed like a great way to do that.
Maybe he thought you would be a great hobby and could help him heal.
But as time went on, he realized that just because he was in immense pain, it didn’t give him the right to do the same to someone else. He realized that it was better for both of you if he walked away as he was still very confused by his emotions from his previous relationship.
He hadn’t moved on and once he realized that, he knew it was time to go.
6. He’s not sure of his feelings for you
Let me tell you that guys often have no idea what they want. Also, they have no idea how they feel about a certain person.
So it could be that he went after you and then disappeared because he realized he doesn’t know how he feels about you.
At first, he liked you and could imagine himself on your side. But then he started having doubts as he couldn’t figure out what he wanted.
Back and forth, he didn’t want to waste anyone’s time before he was sure what he was looking for. So after he went after you, he realized that it’s better for both of you if he takes his time figuring things out.
He disappeared, which was a cowardly move, as it would have been so much better for both of you if he’d openly said what was bothering him.
But the good news is that he can find out he was wrong and ask for a second chance. So it would be up to you to decide if you want him back in your life.
So don’t be surprised if he knocks on your door. Maybe the last time you saw him wasn’t the last and he will try to become a part of your life once again.
7. He only dated you so he wouldn’t be alone
The hard truth was that he could be dating you just because he hated the idea of being single and lonely. After your first date, he realized that he kind of liked you and that’s when he went after you.
He went after you and did his best to win you over. Then, when he did, everything changed suddenly.
Maybe he realized you were falling in love with him and didn’t want to deal with it. Maybe he was afraid that everything was going much faster than he expected and he got scared.
Or maybe he used you to not be alone and then gave up on you the moment someone better came into your life. You will probably never find out the whole truth, but what is obvious is that he played dirty.
The thing is, he went after you and then disappeared because it became clear to him that you weren’t filling that void anymore.
He ignored his feelings because only one thing mattered to him: he didn’t want to feel alone. Once you saved him from sinking and helped him swim, he then pushed you under the surface.
8. He had self-esteem issues
Insecurities are anyone’s worst enemy. They ruin all good things and turn them into nightmares.
If you noticed that your guy was dealing with low self-esteem, maybe that’s why he dumped you.
He went after you with all his might and then disappeared because he became convinced that you were beyond his reach. He made you think that you were going to leave him anyway and that he had better go first.
Even if he liked you, he couldn’t see any reason for you to choose to be with him. It didn’t matter that you already showed him that you would choose him over and over again.
He still kept repeating to himself that you’re just playing with his feelings and that you’d be gone before he knew what hit him. Insecurity made him disappear from her life.
If he knew that you had some of the best times of your life with him, he wouldn’t even think about leaving…
9. His friends didn’t like you
One day, he makes you feel like you’re the best woman he’s ever known. The next day he has completely walked out of your life and you have no idea how to get in touch with him.
You’re probably shocked that he would go after you and then suddenly disappear, and you wonder why. But would you believe me if I told you that his friends made him act this way?
Believe it or not, men are highly dependent on their best friends. They trust their friends as if they know what’s best for them and will often follow their advice even if they don’t agree with it.
The reason could be that they hate the idea of being made fun of in the company of their friends. They feel this need to act like males and avoid making mistakes that could cause them to be laughed at.
So when a guy meets a girl he likes, his friends usually must first approve of her. When that doesn’t happen, a guy can end up being made fun of, as his friends believe she’s not worthy of him.
Of course, this only happens when the guy and his friends are immature and see a relationship as something that costs freedom.
If you’ve noticed that your boyfriend often listens to his friends and does what they expect him to do, here’s your answer.
He went after you because he liked you, but then as his friends didn’t approve of the relationship, he disappeared from your life as if nothing had happened. This behavior is wrong on so many levels and maybe you’re better off without it than wasting your time on such a childish guy.
10. He is still interested in you but needs some time to process everything
Honestly, one of the explanations for him going after you and then disappearing might be that it was too much for him at the time. He still likes you, but he doesn’t know if everything is moving too fast for comfort.
He had never felt such strong emotions for anyone else. So he couldn’t figure out if he was taking the right step or leading to his own downfall.
The truth is, he doesn’t want to lose you, but he simply needs some more time to figure out his next move. He wants to make sure he doesn’t mess things up and that’s why he walked away.
After some time, he will probably contact you and ask you to give him a second chance.
What to do when he shows interest and then disappears
The first thing to do is accept that he’s gone.
But if he’s gone, should I text him? No, no chasing after, because that will only make him move further away from you.
If you really like him, give him a break. If he doesn’t show up after a week or 10 days, send a message here, another there…
See if he responds or not.
If he doesn’t respond, if he stops talking to you on WhatsApp, it’s clear that he doesn’t want any more topics.
So my tip is: follow your life, love yourself and look for someone who wants you too. In fact, someone who makes a point of being by your side!
5 Things You Should Keep in Mind After He Disappears
Now that you know all the potential reasons for him to disappear, you desperately need dating advice. You need to know what you should be doing now that he’s gone from your life.
Do you run after him? Do you text him and say you miss him? Or do you just give up on him?
Well, here’s some advice to follow if you want to get through this situation like the warrior you are.
1. Let him go
Honestly, you could just let him go and stop thinking about him. He’s the one who went after you and then disappeared, which probably means he doesn’t want anything to do with you.
In that case, your best choice would be to simply erase him from your life and move on with a clean slate.
I know it’s going to hurt and it’s probably going to be one of the hardest things you’ve ever done. But at the same time, it’s the only sure way to heal after all the pain he’s put you through.
2. Expose him
At first, he was in love with you. At least, he acted like that. He would text you good night and you never started a day without getting a good morning text from him.
But one day, everything stopped. It was like “hasta la vista”, poof, and he was gone.
Now, you feel a terrible need to message him and check what’s going on. But if you show him that you miss him, it will be your greatest reward.
So instead of checking him out and testing the waters to see if he’s going to come back, you should expose him. If you feel this need to get in touch with him, at least make sure you let him know that you’re well aware of his dirty moves.
He went after you and then disappeared without any explanation. That doesn’t sound quite like a guy you need in your life, no matter how much you’ve fallen for him.
3. Don’t take things personally
I know you probably feel like you’ve done something wrong, I must tell you that this time, it’s really not you, it’s him. He’s the one dealing with certain problems that you never thought would come.
You didn’t do anything wrong. If anything, you just showed him that you like him and that you want to grow old with him.
He made the decision to leave you. It’s his fault.
So please stop tormenting yourself like you did your best. If you weren’t good enough for him, then he doesn’t even deserve you in the first place.
This is the best relationship advice I can give you right now.
4. Don’t worry about going after him
I get it, you like him and you don’t want to waste your chance with him. But at the same time, do you really want to be the one chasing him? Do you want to keep looking for your love crumbs?
He’s going to find out what he lost and try to get you back, or he’s going to keep playing it cool and not lift a finger at you.
No matter what, you should never allow yourself to go after him, as he deserves more than that. If he’s a real man, he’ll never think of playing games with you.
Open your eyes and be honest with yourself. If he shows you that he doesn’t want you in his life, then you have nothing to fight for. If he’s not the right person for you, then you can’t do much to change that.