Every time you see this woman, your heart beats. You feel this passion and wonder: When and how should I confess my love for her without risking rejection? Is it a good idea to be so upfront about her feelings as a man?
It doesn’t matter if you’ve just met her, if she’s your best friend, or if she’s in a steady relationship:
In this article, I will tell you when is the best time to make a love confession… and the best way to do it!
Confessing feelings: how I wanted to show my love for a girl
When I was one of the young people, there was a very beautiful girl in my class. I was madly in love with her and really wanted to confess my feelings for her.
I just had one real problem:
I had absolutely no idea how to show her that I loved her and wanted a relationship with her.
“Somehow I have to let her know about me!” I thought desperately (I was a low-key guy at the time and believed she just ignored me).
I was running out of time because I realized how interested the other guys were in her too.
So at some point, I got excited and literally put everything on a card. I bought a rose and wrote a tacky letter with pink hearts. In it I wrote the text:
“I love you very much and I also hope for your affection! “
With my heart pounding, I secretly sneaked into the classroom during a break and put my gift in her bag… but despite my courage to show my interest in her, I never got a response.
Then I started having doubts: is it really a good idea to confess your love to a girl?
Confess about being in love – yes or no?
You may also have already considered revealing your burning feelings to a woman on your next date or by letter/WhatsApp.
You want to create clarity and show her how you feel about her – in the hope that she will return your love and become your faithful partner.
It’s a race against time – because what if she suddenly finds another man she falls in love with? What if he “steals” her for a relationship? Our fear of loss has only one answer. The inner voice in the head screams:
“You have to tell her, make it clear, preferably right away!”
And a cheesy romantic declaration of love is quickly conjured up your sleeve.
But should you put your passion so openly on the table, yes or no?
Oh, man… The great fear of being rejected
At the same time, fear and doubt grip you like dark shadows:
“Should I really confess to the woman that I’m in love with? What if she hits me and I look like an embarrassing idiot? “
The fear of rejection is huge among us men, I know this all too well in the past. Those who openly admit their feelings become vulnerable…
And the doubts are not entirely unjustified either.
My experience: A love confession can be very beautiful and romantic for a woman, and NOW, a lot can go wrong here if you meet at the wrong time.
So the question is not if, but WHEN you should reveal your love to the girl.
When should I confess my love to the woman?
Funny Hollywood movies show what it’s like: men in love in suits kneel in front of their loved ones on a date, hand out bouquets of fragrant flowers, or throw teddy bears around them – in hopes that the lady will fall on their necks.
They also breathe a romantic “I love you forever, Stephanie…”
If you’ve just met the woman or she’s already your best friend (keyword: Friendzone), I advise against these “flowery” declarations of love on your “date”.
You should only confess your love when you are sure that the woman loves you too and that a clear confession of love is no longer necessary to meet her.
Love Messages: Intention is Crucial!
It’s about WHY you confess your love to a woman, with what intention, and with what goal.
Do you do this with your longtime girlfriend in a relationship to show your respect and to consolidate/deepen your partnership? So it’s okay. It’s actually pretty good.
Do you do this at first, when you meet or date, in the hopes that she will fall in love? So it looks clumsy and needy.
Shocking achievement? Perhaps. But Hollywood is not real life.
Why you shouldn’t rush to reveal your feelings
Let me explain in more detail, man to man. There are 4 decisive reasons why you should NOT confess your love in the “acquaintances” phase or to your so-called “best friend”:
1. The cards are now face up on the table
You become unattractive to the woman with such a sincere expression of love. Through that submissive gesture, she knows she can definitely have you with a snap of her fingers – and with that, you take the tension out of the flirtation.
Women like mysterious men who are not so easy to find and who play a little with proximity and distance. It’s like a sparkling shower that alternates between hot and cold.
2. Confessions of love seem strange
The woman feels that you are not able to show affection naturally through flirting. Girls want men who have mastered the flirting game and can send subtle signals that they are interested (more on this: see below).
3. You put the gun on the woman’s chest
But the most bothersome thing for the woman in this is:
With a phrase like “I love you” (or some other unequivocal gesture) you surprise her like a man like a steamroller and force her to react with clarity.
She is now in the unenviable position of having to decide for or against you. Especially when she still needs time to get to know you better or is very shy, she feels extremely pressured.
Such a hasty love confession is a real deterrent, especially if the lady wants a cautious approach and has not yet managed to build trust.
And in no time, the mood during dating is ruined…
This is the reason why many women give you a stump first to get some air.
And when you give them the choice to say “yes” or “no” to you, many girls decide to say no despite their tender feelings or withdraw without an answer because they don’t rush into an uncertain desire for a relationship.
4. With the best friend: chaos in friendship
If you’ve only been a “good friend” so far, a declaration of love like this is sure to be a real hurricane that destroys friendship.
Remember: the woman probably only sees you as her best friend at the moment. Once she learns of her feelings, she’ll wonder if the friendship can continue to work like this and possibly drift apart.
Because being in love is always poison for a friendship between a man and a woman.
So, instead of an expression of love, you should choose other strategies to escape that friend zone and start a relationship.
Please don’t confess love by text (WhatsApp, SMS, or letter)
Many men are afraid of a basket on a date, which, of course, I can perfectly understand. Then you choose romantic phrases or think of a few lines by yourself…
…and then write a text that you send to the woman via WhatsApp/SMS or the old-fashioned way with a handwritten letter.
Please don’t do this if you just met the girl! Even if you mean well, this is the worst possible attempt to win them over for you. It seems even stranger than flowers and chocolates on a first date. She will then think:
“Man, this guy doesn’t have the guts to personally confess his feelings.”
Something like that doesn’t sit well with women – mind you when it comes to flirting. But if you’re in a serious relationship with her, that’s something else entirely. So this form of love message makes the woman’s heart leap for joy (see below).
Instead, how do I show her that I like her?
Okay, now you’ve been lectured by me on what NOT to do as a man.
So confessing your love to an (almost) stranger or a good friend you want to meet up with isn’t a particularly good idea. But how else can you show her that you like her?
Put the bouquet and letter aside and take Zorro’s sword! It’s your job as a real man to switch to attack when flirting or dating and set more precise signals for your interest.
This includes, for example:
- Playfully teasing woman
- you ask for a date
- Write your funny WhatsApp messages (but in moderation!)
- Give her good compliments
- make you laugh with humor
- Slowly develop physical closeness and touch them in conversation – right up to the first kiss
However, avoid submissive gestures such as expensive gifts or invitations to a 5-star restaurant on a date. You shouldn’t keep in touch with her either. For us men, it’s always about not showing our interest in such an intrusive and obvious way…
…but to make the flirting game exciting.
Compare it to a dog where you hold the bone in front of the muzzle and quickly pull it away before it closes.
Like I said, if she knows she’s got you “in the bag” for a possible relationship, you’ll be as uninteresting to her as the sloppy bagels from the day before.
The goal is always to build an irresistible attraction to the whole so that the woman finds you as an attractive man and wants you as much as you want her.
With a man: How can I confess my feelings to her?
The trick for us men is to not catch the lovely lady off guard and catch the right moment. This means:
If you know that she is also in love with you or even that you already have a relationship with her, then, of course, you can confess your love for her. Such a nice gesture expresses appreciation, gives confirmation, and can thus consolidate the partnership.
But how can you show your affection for a woman? Of course, you can do this with a text – here I have prepared some words for a love confession. Classic love sayings are also always well received.
You can send these sayings as a text via WhatsApp or write a love letter with an old-fashioned pen. The latter is, of course, particularly romantic – especially in today’s smartphone age.
However, if you’re short on time and just want to say “I love you” in between, a WhatsApp message will do the job.
Instead of texts with proverbs – more ideas…
Otherwise, you can let the flowers talk about your relationship or bring her a good breakfast, go somewhere romantic for a picnic… Your male imagination is running high!
If the declaration of love is imaginative and really sincere, your girlfriend will surely be happy about it. I wish you success!