Nowadays, many men are not sure how to behave when looking for a partner and what will make a good impression on women. Faced with this crisis, the question is often asked: “What is man today?”
Typical things like money, the sports car, or a trained bicep? Coldness, selfishness, and assertiveness at work? Don’t have an eye for fashion?
Or are they just outdated movie and advertising clichés?
Oh man, this is all really confusing enough…
But politics and the media create additional uncertainty, where typically masculine traits are (rightly?) demonized as old-fashioned, or otherwise.
So the question is, which of all the stories is nonsense – and which is the truth?
In this article, I’m going to speak openly in an ultra-masculine way. This means that I will reveal 10 positive and 5 negative masculine characteristics that not everyone likes to hear.
But with this information, you will know what really characterizes modern masculinity to succeed with women – and what belongs to the realm of feminist myths!
What is masculine – 10 attractive properties
Over and over you hear that women want a “real guy”. But what is masculine? The opposite of women, of course. But I suspect this answer won’t satisfy you now…
So, here are the 10 best features and tips that will make you full of male attractions:
1. A manly appearance
Of course, it’s not primarily about outward appearances when it comes to the issue of masculinity. But in love, the eye also eats with women – especially if you meet for the first time while flirting.
What is masculine, therefore, is also related to your appearance. In other articles, I’ve explained why women like classic male body feature like trained muscles and beards.
So, if you want to get a more masculine look right away, it doesn’t hurt to get an eye-catching beard hairstyle.
You can also do endurance sports and strength training in the gym – preferably under the guidance of an expert trainer!
2. Upright posture
Positive body language is also one of the many things that can instantly make you more manly.
Somewhat logical: if you walk around with your torso bent forward and your shoulders slumped, you won’t look too confident on women.
You are branding the proverbial “beaten dog” – submissive, fearful, making yourself small.
An upright posture, on the other hand, signals pure self-confidence and is masculine.
So: Please always walk upright and stick your chest out! With that, you show that you are a strong man, who literally has a backbone and is not easy to take down.
3. A strong protective instinct
Yes, today’s women are confident enough to take care of their own good. However, the protective instinct is still one of the main traits women look for in men these days.
Your partner loves being able to get carried away every now and then in everyday life and having a strong shoulder to lean on.
There are still many risky situations where women need a male protector because they are physically inferior to us boys.
Therefore, you should always show affectionate behavior towards her, whether on the first date or later on, even after years in the relationship.
But what is masculine in this context? Well, small gestures are enough to show yourself as a protector with enough masculinity.
For example, you can send her a WhatsApp message after the meeting and ask if she got home safely.
And if some shadowy characters find you while we’re walking through the park, you take your mate by the hand and walk around so there’s enough distance between her and the guys!
4. Make time for family and kids
The protective instinct just mentioned also includes a certain masculine care for the family in a serious relationship.
Gone are the days when men only went to work to bring home money. Roles are being reorganized in our society today.
Specifically, that means you can help around the house or push the cart. And in general, you are a loving parent rather than just the strict owner of the house.
Be the charming guy in the ad who smiles and pulls out the big package of chocolate while the kids jump for joy.
You don’t need to be afraid of being seen as “unmasculine” or “weak” with this behavior.
As long as you don’t completely transform into a slippery hero and maintain strong masculinity in other areas, it’s fine!
5. Education and success at work (due to hypergamy)
Of course, most women these days stand on their own two feet. She is independent enough and doesn’t need a provider to bring her money home.
However, a certain degree of success at work is still something masculine and therefore looks very attractive to the opposite gender.
Because, despite all the emancipation, the vast majority of women want a partner they can respect. And most women still marry “up” in terms of status. This is a fact, also in our German society.
In technical terms, this is called “hypergamy”.
This is also related to the fact that technical training and professional success signal positive masculine characteristics, for example, dominance, assertiveness, and leadership.
Now comes the big BUT regarding your masculinity:
To be attractive to women, you don’t have to be a chief doctor, a famous lawyer, or the head of a big company these days.
It is enough for your partner to feel that you are passionate about your work and that you see it as a mission. This is also an important definition of “success”…
The whole thing is recognizable only by its language:
Suppose you tell your sweetheart with bright eyes how much work as an auto mechanic satisfies you. So he looks a lot more masculine and attractive than a jaded boss who only complains about his job as CEO on a date and visibly hates his job.
6. Take the lead
Who “holds the reins” in the male-female relationship? In today’s society, it’s considered macho and retrograde when the guy is in charge.
But the uncomfortable truth is, most women still want a self-confident partner who takes the lead like an “alpha animal” and shows them where to go.
Hardly a lady wants an insecure procrastinator who holds back and leaves all the decisions to her. Something like this is perceived as weak by the female instinct.
This unmasculine behavior is also very stressful for the woman, as it forces her to take charge on her own.
Of course, you shouldn’t be condescending to the lady and just want to determine everything or restrict her…
But you can still set the tone and show a healthy degree of dominance towards the female gender.
How can you become even more masculine in this regard?
Get friendly but still direct and “delicately decisive” language!
For example, suggest some ideas about what to do on the date and which coffee shop to go to. Or decide which paths to take on your city/park walk instead of hesitating to stop at each intersection.
In another article, I explained in detail what it means to be an alpha male.
7. Take risks in life (and stay in a good mood)
We all know the stories of the brave knight who frees the beautiful princess from the clutches of the evil dragon (and then takes his great love with him to the castle… * blinks, coughs *).
But what is masculine today, what is (also) feminine?
Answer: What women really want are still men with courage and a willingness to take risks, not “tail pullers”.
You don’t have to mess with dragons or other wild animals to prove your manhood. You don’t have to risk your life for it. However, you shouldn’t shy away from a good dose of daring in everyday life.
And if you look at genuinely masculine guys, you’ll find that they remain extremely calm even in sticky situations and can ignore crises and setbacks with a good dose of humor.
Women love it when you exude that indifference and can laugh at yourself every now and then!
What does “risk” mean in concrete terms without being reckless?
For example, if you’re dissatisfied with your job, you can still sit there for the next ten years, because it’s permanent, secure work.
But you can also be brave and look for a new job – even if it’s a journey into the unknown and you absolutely don’t know what to expect there in the future.
And if you fail, you must get up again, straighten your crown and move on – that’s manly too!
8. Express your own opinion
It looks unattractive if you, as a man, don’t dare open your mouth and express your honest opinion. Because that behavior just seems boring, adjusted, and off-putting.
Here are some examples:
- The woman says on the date that she likes to listen to hip-hop, but can you start with this song from scratch?
- Or is she vegan, but you won’t let the juicy steak come off the grill?
- And you can never imagine having children of your own?
So tell her that very openly and honestly! Be masculine and speak the clear language!
What is masculine: a man who always expresses his opinion politely but clearly – even if he runs the risk of becoming unpopular and losing the lady.
If, on the other hand, you are a yes-and-amen person, your chosen one will find out after a while, as soon as you engage in contradictions. The lie has short legs, even in courtship…
She will then miss the genuine masculinity in you and think, “ Man, this guy only talks through his mouth to impress me. What a coward! ”
Honesty, on the other hand, seems very self-assured and ensures that the woman likes you even more – even if you don’t always agree!
9. Spontaneity and thirst for adventure
Whether on a date or later in a relationship: women always want to experience a certain emotion in men.
Nothing is as boring as predictability and stuck routines.
The answer to the question “What is masculine” can also be answered: a certain flexibility and a tendency towards adventure.
This means, for example, that you suddenly take the woman on her motorcycle for a spontaneous ride.
Or that you suddenly take her hand on a date and show her a beautiful city park that she didn’t know about.
Your sweetheart will be happy with such masculinity and will smile to her friends, “ Oh, this guy is so exciting – because he’s always good for a surprise! ”
10. Set clear boundaries for other people
A real man has clearly defined his own values and knows when the absolute limit of pain in interpersonal relationships has been reached for him.
Therefore, he demands respect and does not allow women to get away with anything, just for fear of getting into an argument with his “great love”.
What is masculine in dealing with the feminine gender: always drawing red lines that no feminine being can cross. Not even if she went to Scarlett Johansson in person.
Did the woman arrive too late to the date without saying anything? So don’t tolerate her not being punctual, but go home after 20 minutes!
Or a beautiful stranger approaches you at the club with a request to buy her an expensive drink? So don’t play dumb!
Instead, you politely but firmly explain that when you first meet, you’ll only drink one drink from particularly good girls who’ve been given this gift.
What are the 5 negative masculine traits?
Now you know some of the most attractive features of what is masculine. However, there are also 5 quirks of classic masculinity that are still not particularly popular with women today:
Men in particular who have lived in the “Mommy Hotel” for many years and/or are single forever have often learned little about keeping things at home themselves.
You can be comfortable in creative chaos and no one expects a cleaning frenzy…
But when the old returnable plastic bottles are strewn about and the dishes dirty from five days ago, you needn’t be surprised when the lady runs away.
Then there can also be discussions (as the examples in this article show) about what is “typically male” or “typically female”.
Crumpled and unironed shirts also do not indicate special qualities as a homemaker. Aside from the fact that in this case, you obviously wouldn’t have the fashion sense…
That’s why you should always clean and tidy your apartment perfectly when you have a date at home. Take some time and shake the cleaning cloth and iron!
The woman then sees that you are an independent housewife and that you have your house firmly under control, even without the help of a woman.
It also signals an overall orderly life and instills more confidence in your counterpart than a scruffy shack full of old pizza boxes.
2. Not being able to talk about feelings
And another thing that is typically masculine: hiding your feelings.
We all still know the parent’s saying when you knocked your knee on the playground as a kid: “ A man doesn’t know pain! ”
These messages lead to the fact that even as adult men we are emotionally very closed off and we hardly talk about feelings – we prefer facts and information. Simply because we believe that we always have to be strong.
We are afraid of looking like “effeminate” guys, with a lot of emotions, and of openly showing our weaknesses.
Women are supposed to like tough guys who always have everything under control… who look mega-masculine, cool and mysterious like a James Bond, right?
No! This is just a stereotype about masculinity!
In fact, girls love it when you occasionally show your soft and vulnerable side on a date. This in no way seems “too feminine”.
After all, a woman wants to know how you feel, whether it’s when you first meet or later in the relationship. Always letting the unapproachable tough guy hang out – this feels “cold” and upsets his female counterpart.
So tell the lady if you are scared, sad, or in a bad mood.
And, of course, you can also inspire them with your positive emotions. What lady doesn’t melt when you play a song with passion on the guitar? And!
3. Struggling at work and in sports
What is masculine? A certain ambition and absolute will to achieve your goals. So far, all clear.
The whole thing can also end in “toxic masculinity” if you exaggerate your behavior and risk your health.
I know many men who struggle at work from morning to night to be able to offer something to the partner of their dreams.
Or guys who make you look ultra-masculine and cheer up with stubborn faces in the gym like an angry Hulk.
Behind this is the male conviction that you’re “not good enough” for a woman if you, as a man, don’t have a lot of money in your account, get a management position in the company, or just have brave muscles.
I said above that some muscle and professional success can’t hurt, but you shouldn’t make it the focus of your personal development.
Otherwise, you run the risk of becoming a little more masculine – but very little time for the pursuit of love, relationships, and other important things in life.
For example, I know many singles who have never had a girlfriend and are total beginners because they spend a lot of time at work instead of meeting women outdoors and flirting!
4. Chasing women and playing “gentlemen”
We often discover what is typically masculine in advertising or in romance movies that exude cheesiness.
We all know those dramatic scenes from Hollywood movies where a man stalks a woman for weeks and ends up kneeling down to confess his love for her (while handing her a bunch of flowers).
Many men still believe they must play the gentleman in flirting, constantly fighting for the lady’s attention and begging for a chance.
Then they shower the chosen one with WhatsApp messages for weeks, constantly greeting her, inviting her to expensive meals, and asking what seems like a thousand times on a date.
They also believe they must assume the masculine role of a gentleman to do the queen of hearts all the absurd favors.
However, all these behaviors have a very submissive and intrusive effect on females. It has little to do with true masculinity.
You also become uninteresting, because the lady has the feeling that she can have you as a partner safely, without having to do anything.
That’s not how flirting works these days, even if Hollywood would have us believe it does.
To look more interesting and masculine, you should make yourself a little rare as a man and let your loved one get restless like a fish on a fishing rod.
This creates some crackling tension in the flirtation – and the woman starts to miss you terribly.
5. Too afraid to talk to strange women
In the media, men are often portrayed as aggressive and constantly persecute poor girls in their everyday life.
But the truth in our modern Brazilian society is quite different.
To the question “What is the man these days?”, unfortunately, I have to answer that most guys are completely insecure when dealing with the opposite genderand are terrified of approaching them.
The cause of this crisis: Many men were raised predominantly by women in childhood – whether at home, in kindergarten, or later in school.
Parents were often absent, and male educators and teachers were often “scarce”. Therefore, the boys did not have positive male role models who could show them how to behave.
Instead of developing a healthy, dominant, and (in a positive sense!) “Aggressive” masculinity, these men were taught that they should always be nice, polite, and reserved.
Result of this creation today: is a huge shyness and fear of addressing attractive women on a daily basis.
The mere thought of walking up to a hot girl makes most men’s knees quiver and their pulses quicken. Don’t you feel the same?
However – as these articles show – you can expand your comfort zone relatively easily, overcome fears, and practice the self-confident approach to finding a girlfriend soon.
The upside: Going beyond your limits in this way also strengthens your overall self-confidence, so you get more masculine charisma and automatically appear more attractive to women.
Give it a try – and after a short time, you will be much more successful with women!