Saying “I Love You”: When and How It Works

When you look your partner in the eye, saying “I love you” is already on your lips. In your mind, you are already screaming the three short but meaningful words to the world. But after slowly approaching the capital “T” through the two preliminary stages, you hesitate.

Very few find it easy to pronounce these words – at least the first time. The fear is very great: what if my feelings are not reciprocated? What if I scare the other one because I said it too soon? All understandable objections. But when you say “I love you”? When is the perfect time and how can I confess my love to each other?

A matter of time to say “I love you”?

You’ve been dating for a while, and you’re getting closer and closer emotionally and are you sure it’s not just a short affair, but one that’s really going to last? Then you are already on your way to the great happiness of love. However, there are a few things you should keep in mind. Because the biggest fear when it comes to love is the threat of rejection. It hurts and makes you painfully aware that you are already a step ahead in the relationship than the other person. And that the other person may never take that step.

4-Step Verification: Are you ready for the 3 words?


So, before approaching it as a man or a woman, ask yourself this: Is it really love that I feel? To do this, you must keep the following aspects in mind and answer honestly. That way you’ll know if you should already say “I love you”.

  1. Observe the evolution of your feelings:    how have they changed since the first date? There is an increase or it is still a case of “love at first sight” that can evaporate quickly.
  2. Test Your Empathy:  Are you as happy with your partner as you are with them? A deep emotional connection is an important indication that it’s really love and that it’s time to say “I love you.”
  3. Take into account the circle of family and acquaintances: have you met each other’s friends and family – why did you both want that too? This step is a clear sign that love has germinated in your heart.
  4. Review your plans for the future:  Use the falling in love questions to find out if your partner is already a constant in your life on your mind.

When do you say “I love you”?

Of course, you usually can’t answer these “control” questions honestly after a short period of time. These stages of a relationship take time to reach. In general, there is no valid moment when you can say “I love you” in a happy relationship without it feeling out of place. You need to get a sense of your relationship. ” He loves me? “Or” Does she love me? “You must make sure that the other person has deep and lingering emotions for you as well.

How do you say “I love you”?

Some people find it easy to say “I love you” – even after a very short time. If you’re not afraid of a possible rejection and can also handle a “thank you”, that’s no problem. However, if you are very worried and even fear the end of the relationship – because of your pride or because the other person is scared – you might want to approach it in small steps.

The Right Structure to Say “I Love You”

But how do you say “I love you” in small steps? First, try saying “I love you” or “You mean a lot to me” and watch the other person’s reaction. When you feel safe enough, all you have to do is find the right time and place and just say “I love you”. However, you should always give your partner the opportunity to respond appropriately. The path to your grandmother’s birthday party or before the holidays together is less suitable. If the answer isn’t what you wanted, disappointment could spoil the next few hours or even days for you.

Good to know: It‘s important that you stay true to yourself and honestly deal with your feelings. ”

When a man says “I love you”

Contrary to what conventional clichés suggest, women in love are not always the first to confess their love. This is also shown by studies, based on a study conducted in the United States by the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. In fact, according to the results, 70% of men say they love you first.

When a man says “I love you,” he’s not just saying it to get a woman into bed. In general, according to research, it is not the rule for women who prematurely proclaim their love to put a man on the run.

Writing “I Love You”: The Difference to the Spoken Word


Instead of saying “I love you”, there is also the option to write. These two very different types of communication also have very different meanings. On the one hand, you see it in black and white when you write “I love you”. On the other hand, it is much more impersonal than the spoken word. You are not facing your partner, you cannot look each other in the eye, and you write from a distance. Therefore, you cannot witness their reaction.

The benefits of written words

Writing “I love you” for the first time in a letter, text message, or other message doesn’t have the same depth as saying it directly. However, compared to saying “I love you”, you give the other person the opportunity to spend a little more time on your reaction. In this way, the partner can first find out what their own feelings are like and – driven by fear of attachment – ​​cannot be immediately chased all the way to fenugreek.

Conclusion: Saying “I Love You” Successfully with Time, Feeling, and Courage


Saying the three words is a big step in a relationship — but it’s not something you tremble in fear. Once you’re sure your feelings are about love and not just being in love, all you have to do is wait for the right moment to say “I love you.” 

First, feel if he is serious or if she is serious, and don’t be afraid of a negative reaction. Because even if the man is not yet ready to say “I love you”: What is not can be! And it’s not uncommon for a woman to take the first step. Maybe her partner is just waiting for you to say the three magic words.