When men keep their distance, what to do?

At no time is their curiosity for each other so great and intense as when dating or getting to know each other. You want to know everything about your new partner, discover similarities and, above all, give enough space to the feeling of being in love. You get closer and closer and you clearly feel that this is the right partner for a relationship. But the moment you dare take the next step, he withdraws.

He almost never answers your messages and does not respond to messages or calls. And you ask yourself: what did I do wrong? Why doesn’t he answer anymore? The reasons for this can be very different in nature.

Why do men withdraw when things get serious?

A sudden loss of contact and communication without warning, which psychology also calls “ghosting”, can have many causes. We want to get to the bottom of this behavior and show why men hold back when things suddenly get serious.

He has personal problems

Don’t worry, it doesn’t necessarily have to be your fault if he pulls away during the process of getting to know each other. Under certain circumstances, it all happened a little too quickly for him. Maybe he has to sort himself out first. Perhaps now he is facing a series of personal problems that need to be resolved. An unforeseen or difficult professional, private or family situation could mean that he has no head for his common situation. 

It is also possible that he withdraws so as not to burden you with his personal problems. Especially at the beginning of getting to know each other, many men feel the need to present themselves on the bright side and are reluctant to allow weakness so as not to appear weak.

He is indecisive and stands between the chairs

Especially when things get serious and the road to the relationship seems to be paved, men have to show their colors and make a decision. When a man starts this distancing phase, it can mean one thing above all: he doesn’t know what he wants! When looking for the answer to the question “Do we fit together?  Some men like to be lonely. 

He may not be sure whether or not to get involved in the relationship. He might also withdraw because he suddenly has feelings he can’t control. If necessary, a pronounced fear of attachment can also be a reason why he withdraws. In order not to have to make a final decision or be clear about his feelings, he prefers to turn around instead of speaking openly about his concerns.

He is not interested

Should the man make the decision – relationship yes or no? – Reacts at a distance, this could also obviously mean that he has lost interest. He might realize that this doesn’t fit between you. But rather than discuss it openly, he prefers to withdraw. He lacks courage and is afraid of hurting your feelings when you’ve been waiting for the next step he doesn’t want to take.

He doesn’t want a relationship

Another reason men back off when things get serious could be that they don’t want to get involved in a relationship in the first place. His rejection means he wants to stay single happier and enjoy his freedom to the fullest. On the other hand, if you send serious intentions, it can cause him to withdraw quickly.

He has another woman in mind 

Even if it hurts, he may already have another one. It is not uncommon to establish parallel contacts, especially in the flirting and attachment phase. Singles are emotionally more open and more curious about outside influences. So if he distances himself from you, it could very well be that he has fallen in love with another woman. While you might still be wondering if he’s serious, he’s already giving you the answer with his abstinence behavior.

How do you sensibly react when he withdraws?

If he pulls away, it doesn’t have to mean the final “turn off”. As described above, the reasons can be very different in nature. But how should you react as a woman when a man withdraws? Next, we want to give you five tips on how to deal with it and, at best, find out what he really wants.

1. Give it time

Don’t put pressure on him and give him time. Show him understanding when you see that external circumstances are forcing you to keep your distance to clear your head and pull yourself together first.

2. Approach it carefully

Still, try to stay in touch when he pulls away. Adapt to the slower rate if he doesn’t immediately respond to your messages. Even if your heart is pushing you forward, slow down a little. Because now it takes patience. If you approach him carefully, you give him a little more room to maneuver. This way you also give him a chance to take a step toward you again.

3. Share your thoughts

However, do not be silent about the situation. Staying off-topic in silence doesn’t bring much dynamism to the situation. Be open and honest about the impression his withdrawal makes on you. But also get their opinion and perception to know how to interpret this situation. That’s the only way to get one step closer to your true motives.

4. Don’t be confrontational

Even if you ask for a clear yes or no for yourself at the point of a relationship, don’t force him to make final decisions. Confrontation can cause him to withdraw even more or even block himself. The more relaxed the situation, the more likely a man will approach himself. Tensions and coercion reduce your room for maneuvering and, at worst, come to nothing.

5. Be consistent

However, don’t let yourself fall in love with everything! If it becomes clear that he is firmly insisting on his point of view and that he is consciously holding back, then you too must remain consistent and draw a line. Don’t make your life unnecessarily difficult. It’s best to look ahead before going into an infinite loop in an unexplained situation.

Conclusion: make sure the situation is clear

Some men make it easy and many women make it unnecessarily difficult. There could be a variety of reasons why he is pulling away from you. It becomes clear that aversion and avoidance do not create clear relationships. Don’t deal long and hard with a man who behaves so indecisively in the long run. If he doesn’t want to clarify, take the initiative yourself. If he still doesn’t want to change the situation, then you should keep your eyes open to find a suitable partner who will treat you with respect. After all, you want a partner who isn’t running away from you, but who you can both isolate yourself with if you want.

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